1 My Castle

O castle, my dear castle,

What a sight to see.

It may not be much,

Others might disagree,

But it's mine.

That's all that matters to me.

What's that?

Could it be really?

No, not this again.

What now?

(Ba bla, bla bla.)

Is that so?

How long?

(Bla bla bla.)

I thought she quit.

She seemed to be doing well

When I last got her letter.

I gotta admit,

I'm a little disappointed.

(Ba da da ba da! BLA BLA BLA BLA!)

(Silence)

Seriously?

Is this for real?

Are you seriously doing this now?

When she's not even fit enough

To eat a meal?

Why are you doing this?

Pulling me,

Into the castle

Where I don't want to be?

I know it's there.

I don't need eyes to see it.

I don't need ears to hear it.

Even with my nose,

I could almost smell it from here.

Do you think I'd forget?

Do you think I don't know?

Everyone of us has heard of it

At least once.

This 'news' is history.

Why do you think everyone left

Without a notice?

Why do you think I left?

To a new place unknown

So far away from there?

A place so dirty, so filthy,

Crawling with thugs,

Carrying those bugs that cause disease?

Even now, at any day,

If I stick around for long enough,

I will fall victim to it, too.

In fact, I may already have.

I may have already fallen victim to it.

The plague so infectious

That no one can cure.

It's only a matter of time, now.

Why did I move to here, you ask?

You think I didn't know it was here?

But where else can I go?

Everywhere is like that.

This 'news' is history.

Everybody who is anybody

Already knows.

Even then, I still have my castle,

And it's better than yours.

But no matter how far I go,

I know it's still there.

From my own tower,

A speck as small as a bug that I want to squish.

I know it's still there.

Your castle.

The same goes

For everyone here.

You can enjoy your festivities

With your new residents there.

One of them may even celebrate

The moment of her death.

You can send me your messengers by horseback,

Carrying letters of 'good news'

From time to time.

I will not care for what I read.

I will likely toss it in the back of my hearth.

Even as this castle's king,

Even if I make a law,

I know that won't stop you or your messengers

From coming, anyway.

Just don't pull me back to your castle.

Other than her death,

Don't send anymore 'news'

Of her villainy.

My old castle is infected enough

By her plague already.

Just keep your conspiracies there

And I'll focus on mine.

Don't even think of making

An offer for assistance.

What you've done up to my departure is enough.

(Silence.)

(Steps fading away.)

Dammit, now it's dirty.

(Clean, clean, clean.)

I need to build more walls.

Make them thicker and taller.

Maybe make a moat?

Anything to keep these thugs away,

To keep them from dirtying it with filth

And lessen the plague's impact.

(Build, build, build.)

Would I still let people in?

From the outside,

They may not even see how great it looks.

But that would be fine.

Who am I even trying to impress?

(Build, build, build.)

Oh, it's gotten dark.

I like the dark.

The world wouldn't have to see me like this.

I wish it would stay like this forever.

Hmm, maybe I can?

No, as its king, I will.

With my powers, I will build my walls so tall that

Light can't reach from above.

With my magic, I will build my walls so thick that

Thugs can't budge or shove.

No more aggravating noise from the outside would come in

As it already has.

No more agonizing pain from the outside will cause me grief

As it already has.

In this new land that I mark,

Whether it be night or day,

Black as pitch, it will be so dark,

No one will know if they're asleep or awake.

O castle, my dear castle.

It would all be mine,

My land, and no one else's.

Its business would all be mine,

My problems, and no one else's.

Nobody would bother me, and

I would bother nobody.

Nobody would know I'm here.

It's settled, I've made my decree.

Now, where did I install that door?