1 Chapter 1

[TW: Mention of Eating Disorders. Discretion Advised.]

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I walked downstairs with a yawn, despite not having eaten for a couple long hours, I felt the tiredness more than I felt the hunger. Perhaps it was just my ADHD acting out again. I had a proper diagnosis, even if my mom didn't fully understand what it entitled. It wasn't always great, of course, my eating habits were horrible, not to mention that I also forgot to drink water. A lot of times. I was almost twenty-one years old and yet she still had the need to be all over my ass, trying to make choices for me and trying to take care of me like I was a five year old. 

It was Monday, which meant the starting of school once again. I had to get changed and prepare my bag, though there wasn't much to prepare considering I didn't have my books yet and it was mostly my sketchbook and my pencilcase.  I dressed on black skinny jeans and a red t-shirt that was covered by a blue hoodie, did I look like some emo kid with a fake mental illness? Kinda. Did I care? Absolutely not. I was fairly confident about my own appearance. Besides, most 'emo' and 'edgy' teenagers had dyed hair, while mine was a dirty blonde, stupid wavy hair that made me look softer than I really was. I was what some people might've considered the perfect cliché boy, blonde hair and blue eyes, fairly pale skin and standing at 176 cms.

I grabbed my school bag and called my mom, considering I hadn't seen her yet and thought she'd be coming with me to school. In fact I had gotten it wrong. She would be meeting me at the wchool, she had gone out before to refill the car's tank, which still sounded like a lousy excuse, but I brushed past it and headed out. After locking the door I put my earbuds in, and stood on my driveway for a solid ten minutes trying to find a song to play for my way to my new school. Finally deciding for some Hollywood Undead. I hadn't even made it gfive steps out that my mom was already calling me to know where I was. See? Annoying. 

My school wasn't really that far, a thirty minut walk from the new house, thoug despite those extra ten minutes and me vibing to my music it really seemed much less. Despite the music ringing in my ears the thoughts pooled in and anxiety made its way through. Iwas going into a new school, school had already started two months ago in September,  that meant I would be getting attention even if I didn't want it.

I was never a popular kid, not an outgoing person at all, but when I saw where we were moving I immediately knew what school I wanted to go to: Roller High School. People talked wonders about it. I was very excited to try apply for it, though..of course price came into the picture and even if we had sold our house it would have been too expensive for my mom to afford alone. Why alone, you ask? Well, my dad is a drunk piece of shit that left us a couple years ago for a younger woman that turned out to just be looking for money. Stripped my dad from every cent and then left without a word, turning him into a very agressive alcoholic that wouldn't stop harassing my mother.

After those thirty minutes by foot, q tall building stood in front of me. It was huge. Much bigger than my old school, and yet somehow it had been cheaper. There was an initial red metal fence, with a cabin to the side where an old man was listening to the radio and drinking coffee, most likely in chargeof greeting incomers and people that left the school grounds. The building was a clean white, windows littered every corner and in the big green scenery outside was truly a sight to be held. Students were walking around or just sitting by any patch of sun they could find. Talking amongst themselves or reading, some held books on their lap, others seemed to be carrying a heavy backpack. 

The front doors weren't packed with people so it wasn't hard to recognize the dark hair from the shorter person, who was talking to a bald man. The man smiled, said something and then walked inside after a moment. As if on cue, my mom turned around looking for me, and once her eyes landed onme she gave me a short scolding look and ushered me to come inside.

The inside was nice, cozy, even. The white wall was les sfavorable, though it gave a sense of cleanness to the place, the floor was made out of blue tiles and it somehow gave me a bitch restauranr kind of vibe. I kept my gaze down most of the walk, not because I was some shy 'uwu' kind of guy, but because I was very nervous about making eye contact with some random student. I only raised it to look at certain details that caught my eye, like a Golden bear statue that was inside a glass cabinet, the words 'bear with us' engraved on the wood where it stood tall. It wasn't the best line for a school. What was that even supposed to mean? 

Soon we reached a dark wooden door, my eyes trailed up until they met the letters that formed a single word: Principal. There was a smaller sticker on the wall with black, thin letters that spelled Mr. Key. What a strange name. 

My mom didn't hesitate to knock, though, unlike her, I wasn't keen on the idea of meeting the principal just ye, wasn't it too soon? Though it did make sense,  after all, he was the one that ran everything in the school and it was most likely that he would need to get to know me. A deep voice allowed us to walk in and soon we were both greeted by a middle-aged man, whose hair was as white as a cloud, small freckles decorated his face, blue eyes that could pierce a soul and surprisingly soft hands. 

The principal stood and shook my mom's hand, and despite heaitating for a brief second, I followed suit, making a bit too tight for both our comfort, but I was nervous, and if it had bothered him, he was doing a very god job at hiding that.

"Sorry," my mother, did I say her name was Alexandri? Said softly, I heard the chuckle of the man, as he offered us a seat. Annoyingly enough my leg started bouncing under the table, despite trying my best to look relaxed, I figured I was doing a very horrible job, considering my mom eyed me from the corner of my eye and after a second turned to me. "Do you want to wait outside?" She asked with that soft voice that made my blood boil. Most people would love to have your parents treating you so nicely. Well, let me remind you, i'm twenty years old. I don't want to be babied, and specially not in front of my principal.

I walked outside as I put one od my earbuds on and sat on a chair, though even then my leg didn't stop bouncing, I could stop it, of course, but it was like…a safe way of letting my nerves out without biting my nails. I looked at the ceiling, despite beinf coated in white paint, possibly to hide the ancient look of it, yellowish patches were starting to be visible.

After a few minutes i noticed movement from the corner of my eye and I turned my head, it appeared someone had entered the building. It was a male, looking way taller than me, light skin, though not as pale as mine, his hair was an ashy dark and he had very bright green eyes.  I looked away to try act like I hadn't noticed him, but grew tense when I noticed him sit beside me. Though he also didn't say a single word, and the air between us grew tense and I wasn't exactly sure on how to feel about it. Was I supposed to say something? Was the guy new too? He looked much more comfortable there than me, but then again,  not everybody was born with spiking anxiety.

I took my earbud off once the door opened, there was something about the boy that made my skin crawl, but then again, what didn't make me uneasy? There was something about him that I couldn't descipher, which was kind of attractive.  Ah, if you didn't realize by now. I have attachment issues. 

The principal looked pleased at the sight of the boy and then gave him a toothy smile. As if sharing some kind of secret language, the boy nodded and then started talking. His voice was deep, not too deep but just..the right amount of deep. 

"Hello, my name is Ethan," it made my heart beat rapidly, my voice was nothing like his, he could talk clearly, firmly, and the way he looked at me already had my knees shaking. My mom looked proud and happy, wether it was because I was finally meeting someone my age or because she found him attractive, I couldn't quite tell. He was handsome,  that much was clear. Ah… I didn't let you know. I'm gay. So you can imagine what my teenage brain was thinking at the sight.

"This is Logan and I'm Alexandria, though you can call me Alex or Alexandra if you prefer." My mom said with a cheerful tone and a big smile on her face. Ethan simply nodded and after looking at me for a second, he turned his attention to the principal. Was he waiting for orders? That reminded me…

…of a dog.

"Alright, so you will be in charge of him this year, or well, this first semester." The principal said as if they had talked about it already, which probably was the case, to what Ethan nodded his head and smiled ppolitely. Though I could sense some kind of irritation coming from him. Understandable. Wait- why was I being assigned a baby sitter?

"I'll leave you two to it, I still have to speak to your mother, Logan." Mr. Key spoke, giving no space for objections. My mom gave me a wink, knowing damn well I was gay and being supportive of it, perhaps a little bit too supportive.

I walked with Ethan down the empty and large corridor, it seemed everybody was back in class now. I was too busy looking around to notice the mischievous glance the other casted my way. But would it had made any difference? I felt the coldness of the wall on my back even before I noticed what had happened. 

My eyes were wide regardless, as I stared at the male that was grabbing me by my shoulders and holding my back firmly against the white wall. There wasn't..ill intend in his eyes, it didn't seem like it. He jusst looked like he was having a good time. Maybe he was just as amused as I was and it was his way of…expressing?

"You better behave, I like new kids, so fun to tease and boss around, and more when their sexual preference is clear as water." He said, perhaps a bit too calmly for what his words entitled. I never knew I screamed 'gay' until that very moment. He stepped back just as fast, moat likely not wanting to risk being caught, gave me a pat on the shoulder and motioned for me to follow him.

I hesitated, but had no other option, did Mr. Key knew about this? Probably not, right? What sick bastard would allow such person to be in charge of new students? I was already panicking, my breath was a bit fast and I could hear my heartbeat in my brain. The closer we got to class the darker my vision got, and I don't know if you have ever fainted but it's…a weird feeling. I wasn't even aware I had fallen, a female voice rang through the air and then everything went quiet.