Nzoputa
Read till Chapter 7- This novel is well written compared to a lot of other novels here on WN. There's suitable detail in the events taking place. Sometimes I was thinking that there were better ways to word some sentences to get the meaning across clearer, but all the author needs is maybe a proof/beta reader to help. Just a complaint on my end, all caps imo don't look very nice in something you're publishing. Of course, that's just me lmao. If you're interested in modern day romances, this one is well done. With seven chapters, I can't say I'm in love with the characters, but they aren't horrible caricatures of common tropes. Hopefully there's more developmemt within the next chapters. Good luck to the author!
I'm fully sorry if you're offended by my review. I am rather finicky about things, and I will be as honest as I can so you can take this as advice to improve with. [-] Writing Quality: 3 stars -> Decent. It's comprehensible, and lots of descriptions. However, as a reader, I found myself wandering a lot throughout the endless descriptions of everything. Maybe tone it down? Sometimes, a description of a house could last 2-3 paragraphs. There's no action, and we as the reader are left wondering—this is nice and all, but why am I reading this? Also, please check on some of your medical facts, No need to make sure everything is 100% correct, but try to aim for some accuracy. Quite a few grammatical mistakes, you might want to invest in Grammarly. Also, your characters tend to monologue, leading to really long character dialogue. People in comments have told you this before, so I won't comment on it as much. Last thing, you have your writing all bunched up. It turns into one massive block of text, which is jarring to the eyes and turns a reader away. On a device, large blocks of texts will drive away readers. [-] Stability: 4 stars -> Pretty stable! You seem to be fluctuating a little bit with the middle chapters, but that's okay, as you have mentioned it is your first novel. I see you're trying for daily updates. Good luck! I reccomend you stockpile chapters and set a timing for when you update. This will allow more readers to flock to your story. [-] Story Development: 4 stars -> Can't really say much at the moment, due to only having 7 chapters so far. But I can see you've set up some major conflicts, and introduced main characters. You've given potential for major arcs in the future chapters. Good job! There's an aura of mystery surrounding the motives of many of the characters, which will be pleasant to find out. [-] Character Design: 3 stars -> Here's the thing about the characters. I don't know *why* we should care for them. I feel nothing, as a reader, to the plights of your characters. You have to *make* me feel sad for them. Show me why they deserve to be happy. -Tang An: I don't know a lot about her personality. You've shown me that she's gone through pain--> make her question missing memories, why her mother hates her. Of course, this is still early in the story. But the start of the story is most crucial for you to hook readers in. You've shown a lot of tragedy happening to the people around her--> Auntie Chen. Show Tang An helping her through her grief, show us that she is a kind-hearted character. Other than that, Tang An seems unoriginal and similar to many of the other FL's here in WN. -Lu Xiang Nice usage of conflicts, you've shown me lots of his backstory and his motivations. But how did he fall in love with Tang An that quickly? That cliche is overly used. Take up a challenge! Show him falling in love with her! Of course, this is up to your preference. Do it your way, in the end, the author should write for themselves too. None of the other characters really stood out to me, but once again, this is only chapter 7. [-] World Background: -> Set in modern age. Nice building on the Lu and Tang family's businesses. Nothing out of the ordinary, and I can picture most things pretty well. OVERALL 3.6 stars. Still in development, so I can't really say too much. You can tell a story's potential by chapter 20, and most readers will only read up to there before deciding whether a story is really for them or not. But there's lots of potential with your story, and the more you continue writing, the easier it will be. Good luck on your journey!
This was kinda like a mellow story to me. Since there were only few chapters, there were not much notable scene. Still, I love when the author portray the love at first sight from the male pov (🤔 ). Writing quality was good for me coz the author had much better comprehension of grammar compared to myself😅. Self assessment.😂 For the updates, many were complaining but the author had taken the initiative to clarify the issue. So, all is well. The story hasn't developed much, maybe due to the number of chapter posted. Therefore, the character develooment is still lacking but reader can already make few assumptions on what kind of characters the FL and ML will be. At least, I have some sorts of idea. I hope to see more in future. Overall, I enjoy this novel. Keep writing!😊
The writing is satisfactory. It doesn't make me furrow my brows unlike most originals out there. There are obvious grammatical mistakes but some aren't really too noticeable. However, I suggest that you still fix them to increase the chance of a reader immersing themselves in your story. If you know what I mean. The story flows okay so far. I can't really tell since you only have like 6 chapters which is far from enough to even make a tentative judgment The characters... too cliche. It's not that I hate them, it's just because that there's really nothing else to describe them.
Nice plot.👍 I wonder how Tang An will fall in love to the ML.. 😍 Writing quality needs polishing. Especially the use of punctuation marks. But, as the story goes on, the grammar became smoother.. Although, some had slip though. Updates! Updates! As I noticed, its been a while of the last update. Story development and character design lack introduction, might be because of limited chapters. (Advice to update more.) I have no problem with the world background.. Overall, cool story. Keep it up..👍
Review Swap Valid as of chapter 6 Writing Quality: A few notable grammar mistakes - ".--> should be -->." (Don't put the punctuation after the " Put it before) 🤔 why is Aunty Chen's place capitalized? Is that deliberate? - Break down your paragraphs more. For WN stories, when readers see a bunch of text they tend to skim it rather than read. - Chapter 2 -> "would-> (W) would" my stay?I ---> my stay? (Add space) I - Chapter 4-- I don't think you need to use ; so many times. A simple full stop would do when your ending your sentences. This sentence would read better if you added --> Oh(?) And rewrote the sentence to --> I'm just lost in thought, or I'm just thinking about a few things. - Chapter 5--> Im'm---> change to --> I'm You don't have to capitalize the shouting since you already wrote he spoke in a harsh voice. Capitalizing for yelling actually looks tacky and most stories use actions to convey anger instead. I have more suggestions, mistakes I found but this grammar issue can easily be solved if you used grammarly (writing program) -The long dialogue in the prologue can be broken down, you could have the doctor pause in mid speech before continuing. Character Development: Not much I can comment on with the lack of chapters. No characters particularly stood out yet. 🤔 aside from the brothers friend. We got a lot insight on his thought process. Story Development: Again too soon to judge. But from what I've read, this is a story centers around the broken past of the protagonist. Love at first sight is okay, but don't jump the romance too quickly. Let it build slowly with the characters slowly getting to know each other first.
It's interesting and slightly different from the typical romance stuff that's so readily available here in Webnovel. Writing Quality: Easy to read, good and any grammar mistakes are negligible to me since English isn't my first language. However, I would advice Author to break down sentences more. It's far easier to read than having very long sentences with many things in it. Also, break down and have more paragraphs. Stability of Updates: Unknown, but 5* in good faith Story Development: I like how the story is progressing and the details that are being covered. Different perspectives are also nice to see. Character Design & World Background: It's still too early to tell as the characters are still developing. It has potential. All in all, an enjoyable read. All the best, Author!