2 Death

<< Main MC's POV >>

I laughed to myself as I felt my life flash before my eyes. My miserable life. It had been 40 years since 'that' day and, honestly, I was surprised I was still alive. That was going to change soon though.

I could feel my heart begin to race abnormally fast, pounding away behind my sagging breasts as if screaming SAVE ME, SAVE ME. I didn't panic. This riveting sensation of life pumping through my drug-infested veins was exhilarating. I was starting to understand why so many people killed themselves with the use of drugs. It wasn't cowardice, it was because it made you feel alive.

Then again, people overdosing on sleeping drugs were definitely just cowards.

My body convulsed violently, fighting against the poison and I puked in my mouth. I was too high to turn to the side and I started to choke, foam forming between my lips. The other junkies around me didn't do as much as spare me a passing glance.

I bet they are jealous, I thought. Look at them, filthy worms, coming here to shoot themselves full of drugs… waiting for the day they can finally quit this world.

I hated this world. I hated my life. I hated who I had become, how I had let 'that' dictate my every move. The sick bastard got what the court thought he deserved: Life in a mental institute. He should have been castrated and fed to the wolves. I should have been sent to a mental institute.

God how I wished I had been. Maybe everything would have been different. Maybe I wouldn't have lost myself to the drugs that enslaved me and made me do the unthinkable thing of selling my wrecked body. Maybe they could have fixed me.

I sigh. What is the point of speculations? I'm about to die, this isn't the time to feel regret. Rejoice! You're going to die! Yay! Farewell to this miserable hellhole that broke my everything and left me to rot. Farewell to the miserable me, who didn't fight back enough out of fear and then, out of shame, was unable to recover.

A tear spilt from my red, tired eyes.

I can't tell how long I haven't been breathing but my whole body hurts. Especially my lungs. It's close. Finally.

~ ~ ~

Unexpectedly, there is a life after death and it involves standing in a long line of wailing women. Wait, there are some men too. I wonder why I'm not shocked to see demons flying around. I wonder why I'm shuffling along this line as if it's the most natural thing in the world. …Maybe it's a spell cast on us to preserve order.

I lift my head and squint at the bat-zombie-looking creature. Ugh. Disgusting.

There is a young girl in front of me, 15 perhaps and I can immediately tell what happened to her. Her hair is a mess, she's trembling in shock and her clothes are ripped. There's a trail of blood on her leg and he body is covered in bruises.

My heart that stopped feeling so long ago aches at the sight. I feel for her.

"Hey…", I start in a small whisper. "Hey, it's alright now. It's over. You're dead now."

I'm not sure if she can hear me but I tell myself that she can and that my words provide some comfort to her.

I look further down the line. There are transgender women, their face burning in anger and humiliation. There are young girls and boys, even children so young I can't possibly bring myself to guess their age. Then there are grandmothers, silently moving along. They don't cry but they look sadder than anyone else. I think of my country's history and my heart breaks for them. They must have been comfort women. I wonder how they could live so long and not decay as I did.

Of course, I'm not the only junkie in the row. I look at another woman that could be my reflection, although she looks a good 10 years younger than me. Nothing but skin and bones, sunken cheeks, skin the colour of yellow ash, dark spots, rotting teeth and hair of a scarecrow. We make eye contact for a moment and I can tell, we are both ashamed of what we let ourselves become.

"Ah… so this is where the r*pe victims come after they die."

I'm not sure why it took me this long to realise and by this point, it's almost my turn. A man... no, a humanoid demon sits on a dark throne. He is the size of a giant and could probably pluck our heads off with his fingertips.

The 15-year-old girl is mumbling something, and the humanoid demon reacts as if he can understand what she's saying from where he is. Maybe he can. I lean forward, trying to catch a gist of what is happening- what I can expect. However, I'm caught by the ugly bat-zombie that snarls at me and I quickly take a step back.

Then, the giant flicks his fingertips and the girl's body turns into white particles of light that ascend from the path and disintegrate.

I wonder if she went to heaven.

"NEXT.", I hear a booming voice and visibly flinch. Strange, it doesn't look like anyone else heard it.

"COME FORWARD." There it is again. I look up at the giant and swallow nervously.

I step forward and I feel as if my heart is beating in my chest but that can't be.

"YOUR FUTURE WAS GRUESOMELY TAKEN FROM YOU. YOU COULD HAVE RECLAIMED IT, BUT YOUR WEAKNESS WILL NOT BE PUNISHED."

My cheeks burn in shame. 'My weakness.'

"I CAN SEND YOU TO HEAVEN OR JUDGE YOU NORMALLY BUT INFLICT THE CRUELEST PUNISHMENT ON YOUR ATTACKER."

My brows furrowed in irritation.

"What, that's it? I want a new life! Give me another shot! What am I going to do up in heaven??", I had snapped back aggressively before I can bite my tongue. All the unfairness and misfortune I suffered till now must be boiling over.

For several minutes the giant stares at me with his beady eyes. I can't tell what he's thinking, and I'm scared but I already died once… so I gather my courage and glare back at him. How ironic, now that I'm dead I can finally stand up for myself.

"GREEDY."

His voice is a deep, rumbling bass that shakes my soul. I can't breathe.

"I CAN GIVE YOU ANOTHER LIFE, BUT YOU MUST DO SOMETHING FOR ME."

What, seriously? That easily?

I steel my eyes and nod with intended resolution.

"Anything."

I'm trying to sound as serious as he is but I'm not sure if it's working.

Wait, is he flicking his fingertips? Did he trick me?!

"Oh shi-!"