3 TOO SKEPTICAL ABOUT MEN

Ten years later

'YOU'RE FAR TOO skeptical about men, Kylie.'

'I don't think that I am,' Kylie answered, 'though admittedly I'd love to be proven wrong. But, no, I'm taking a full year off men.'

Kylie was busy packing. Just out of the shower she was wearing a dressing gown and her long, curly black hair was wrapped in a towel. As she pulled clothes out of her wardrobe she chatted to her close friend Alora, who was lying on Kylie's bed and answering emails on her phone.

They were two very busy women but they usually managed to catch up a couple of times a week, whether at the hospital canteen, a coffee shop, wine bar, clothing shop or just a quick drop- in at the other's home.

This evening Kylie was heading to Madrid for an international emergency medicine conference, where she was going to be giving a talk the following morning. Kylie had got off early from her shift at the hospital to pack and Alora had popped around to finalise a few details for the following weekend. Alora and Miguel's twin boys, Alex and Jaden, were being Christened and kylie was to be godmother to Alex.

They were used to catching up on the run. Any plans they made were all too often cancelled at the last minute thanks to Kylie's position as an accident and emergency consultant and Alora bluffing being a mother to two eighteen- month- old boys as well as a full- time obstetrician.

Their lives were similar in many ways and very different in others.

'So you and Rick have definitely broken up?' Alora checked that Kylie's latest relationship was really over.

'He's been gone for a month, so I say so!'

'You're not even going to think about it?'

'Why would I consider moving to Yorkshire when I'm happy here?'

'Because that's what couples do.'

'Oh, so if Miguel suddenly decided that he wanted to move to...' Kylie thought for a second and remembered that Miguel was taking French lessons. 'If he wanted to move to France, You're telling me that you'd go?'

'Not without thinking,' Alora said. 'Given that I'm the breadwinner of the family there would have to be a good reason, but if Miguel really wanted to, then, of course I'd give it some thought. Relationship are about compromise.'

'And it's always the woman who has to be the one to compromise,' Kylie said, but Alora shook her head.

'I don't agree.'

'You've never played the dating game in your thirties.'

'Yes, I have—Miguel and I only married last year.'

'Ah, but the two of you had been going out forever before then. It's different at our age, Alora. Men might say that they don't mind independent working women and, of course, they don't —just as long as you're home before them and have the dinner on.

'Nonsense!' Alora responded from her happily married vantage point. 'Look at Miguel— I work, he gave up teaching and stays home and looks after the children, and the house and me...'

'Yes, you are lucky.' Kylie smiled. 'Well you and Miguel are a very rare expection to my well - proven theory.'

' You're right, I'm really lucky,' Alora laughed.

Then Alora suddenly remembered that she had other things to do on her mind when she saw what Kylie was about to add to her case.

'Please don't take them,' Alora said. referring to Kylie's running shoes. 'They're ugly.'

'They're practical,' Kylie said. 'And they are also very comfortable. I'm hoping to squeeze in a little once the conference closes. There's a modern art museum, hopefully I will get some inspiration for this room...'

She looked around at the disgusting beige walls, carpet and curtains and wished she knew what to do with the room.

Alora got off the bed and went to Kylie's wardrobe and took out some espadrilles.

'Take these instead.'

'For walking?'

'Yes, kylie, for walking, not striding ...' She peered into her friend's luggage. 'Talk about shades of grey —that's the saddest case I've ever seen. you're going to Spain!'

I'm going to Spain for two nights to catch the end of a conference. I'm not going on a holiday. I shan't even see the beach,' Kylie pointed out. 'I wish that I was flying off for a holiday,' she said. and then sat on the bed.

'I hate February so much.'

'I know you do.'

It had been ten years since Thomas died.

She didn't lug her grief around all the time but on days like today hurt. Alora smiled as her friend went into her bedside drawer and took out his photo. Kylie kept it in there,' it was close enough that she could look at it any time and removed enough not to move her to tears. The drawer also meant she didn't have to explain the most vital piece of her past lovers until she was ready to.

She simply found it too painful.

'Rick also asked how likely I was to have another baby like him,' Kylie admitted. It was what had really caused the end of her relationship. ' I told him about Thomas and then I showed him his photo...'

'He's not a doctor, Kylie,' Alora said. it's a normal

question to ask. it's one you've asked.'

'I know that. It was more the way...' She was so sensitive to people's reaction when they saw her son but she smiled when Alora spoke on.

'I loved how he smiled if you touch his little feet,' Alora said, and her words confirmed to Kylie that she was very blessed to have such a wonderful friend. He's so beauitful.'

He was.

Not to others perhaps but they had both seen his lovely eyes and felt his little fingers curve around theirs and they had felt his soft skin and heard his cries.

And that was the hardest part.

It was late February and she'd be away on those days.

The day of Thomas's birth and also the day he had died.

'Should I take this photo with me?' Kylie asked, and Alora thought for a moment.

'I don't think you need this photo to remember him,' she said.

'But I feel guilty living him in the drawer.'

'Then leave him with me, then,' Alora said. 'I'II have a long gaze.'

Yes, she had the very best friend in the world, Kylie thought as she handed over her most precious possession, and because she was going to start crying Kylie changed the subject. 'Hey, did you have any luck tracking down that dress for christening?'

'Nope.'

Alora shook her head as she put the photo in her bag. 'I knew that I should have just bought it when I saw it. It was perfect.'

'It was very nice, but ...' Kylie didn't continue. A white broderie anglaise halter-neck with a flowing skirt was a bit over the top for Kylie's tastes but, then, that was Alora.

And this was her.

She pulled on some white linen pants and a coloured top and added the espadrilles.

'Am I girlie enough for you now?'

'You look great.' Alora laughed. 'It's once you get there that worries me. With those clothes you'll just blend in with all the others...'

'Which is exactly my intention,' Kylie said. ' I have to go soon.'

'But your flight's not until nine.'

'I know but I've booked in to get my hair blow-dried on the way.'

Her long black curls would be straightened, just as they were twice a week. Kylie always washed it herself before she went to the hairdresser's, though.

It saved time.

They headed downstairs, chatting as Kylie did a few last minute things. 'You are speaking in the morning?' Alora checked.

'At nine.' Kylie agreed. 'I'd have loved to have flown last night but I couldn't get away. Hamish isn't back till tomorrow and Mike is covering for me this weekend. Same old. It would have been nice to stay for a few days in Madrid.

'Are you ever going to take some time off?

' I'm off in October for three weeks.' Kylie smiled. 'My exams will be done and I'm going to celebrate by decorating my bedroom. I can't wait to turn it into something that doesn't make me want to sleep downstairs on the sofa.'

'You've done an amazing job with the house.'

Last year, after a year of looking, Kylie had bought a small two- bedroom home in a leafy London suburb. It was twenty minute drive to work at night, which meant, if Kylie was on call, that she had to stay at the hospital. Yes, perhaps she could have bought somewhere just a little bit closer but the drive did mean that when she left the hospital, she really left the building.

Here, she could pull on tatty shorts and a T-shirt and get on with her second love—Knocking down walls, plastering and painting. The house had been a real renovator's delight and kylie had delighted in renovating it.

The ghastly purple carpet had been ripped up to expose floorboards that, once sanded and oiled, brought a warmth to the house. A false wall in the lounge had been removed to reveal a fireplace and the once -purple - themed bathroom was now tiled white with dark wood fittings and had a gorgeous claw - foot bath.

'Will you sell it once you've decorated the bedroom?'

'I really don't know,' Kylie admitted, tipping milk down the sink. ' Initially that was the plan, but now I love the place and want to simply enjoy it, but...'

'But?'

'I've really enjoyed doing it up bit by bit. I'm going to miss that.'

'After your bedroom you've still got the garden to make over.'

'Oh, no!' Kylie shook her head. 'I'll get someone in to do that.'

As they headed out, Kylie locked up and Alora looked at the small front garden.

'It's the size of a stamp,' Alora pointed out. There was just rickety path and two neglected flower beds, and the back garden, Alora knew, was a small strip of grass and an old wooden shed. 'You could have it sorted in a few days...'

'Nope!' Kylie smiled. 'I have black thumbs.'

They said goodbye on the street.

'We'll catch up properly soon,' Kylie promised. Both women knew that they wouldn't get much of a chance to gossip at the christening. 'I'll come over to yours after the conference. I haven't seen the twins for ages. I'll bring them a stuffed horse each back from Spain.'

'Please, don't!' Alora winced and glanced at her phone to check the time. 'ooh, I might make it home in time to give them their bath before bed. Miguel's cooking a romantic dinner for the two of us tonight ...'

'Enjoy Spain,' Alora called. 'You might find yourself some sexy Spanish flamenco dancer or matador...'

'At an emergency medicine conference?' Kylie laughed. ' I don't think there's much chance of that.'

'Well a gorgeous waiter, with come - to - bed and—'

'Oh, please!'

'Why not?' Alora winked. 'If you can't manage a love life, then write down a few flings into that overcrowded diary of yours.'

'There's another conference in Spain the following week that you might want to consider attending,' Kylie in a dry voice. 'Sexual health. You, as an obstetrician, better than anyone must know the perils of casual sex.'

'Of course I do, but sex is healthy.' Alora grinned and then she looked at kylie. She wanted to pick up an imaginary sledgehammer of her own and knock down the wall that had gone up around her friend since her baby's death.

'Do you know what's brilliant about a one-night stand, Kylie?'

'Alora...' Kylie shook her head. She really didn't have time to stand and chat but her friend persisted.

Alora loved to talk about sex! 'He doesn't have to be perfect, you don't have to worry how you might slot into each other's lives and whether he leaves the toilet seat up or is going to support you in your career and all that stuff, because you're not looking for a potential Mr Right. He can be Mr wrong, Mr Bad, Mr Whatever- It- Is - you- Fancy. God, but I miss one -night stands.'

'Does Miguel know your theory?'

'Of course he doesn't.' Alora grinned. 'Miguel still thinks he was my second...' They both laughed.