15 HOLD MY HAND AND NEVER LET GO

"Ziggy and I woke up early before my mom does. Actually, I'm not sure if I ever slept, as long I close my eyes with his arms as my pillow, is rest enough for me. He offered to cook breakfast, and it's not his first time to own our kitchen; he'd been doing it most of the time. He sometimes cooks for our snack when we bond at home while I'll do the dishes or vise versa.

But this time, he's trying to cook something like a chef can to impress my mom and me. He also suggested that we need to tell my mom about our present relationship today. He's actually just trying to re-cook some leftover food from the party in a different dish. Since there are plenty of leftover scraps and pieces of the crisp and succulent spit-roasted pig, he re-cooked it and turn into a mouthwatering Lechon Paksiw. He stewed it in vinegar, soy sauce, and aromatics such as garlic, onions, peppercorns, and bay leaves. These ingredients are always available in our kitchen, considering that my mom loves to cook.

I hug him from the back as I say. "Do you think it's really okay if we're going to tell my mom now? Do you think she will like it? or hate it? Ugh... I'm so on edge right now."

"Ssh, relax, you know what? I think she will be pleased. Because she knows that I will never hurt you, never leave you behind." He utter while kissing my temple.

I clasp his hand tightly with mine. "Do you promise to hold my hand and never let go?"

Letting go of the ladle, he got his hand on my chin, guiding me to his lips after he said. " As always, I promise." Before we got our kiss deeper, a creaking sound from our wooden staircase got our attention and compelled us to straight away, keep distant from each other.

My mom strides down to the kitchen after sniffing the delicious aroma of the dish Ziggy prepared. "Wow, it's so early in the morning, and you kids, preparing for some heavy breakfast, is it for me?"

"Yes, definitely Tita, can you please try it? I'm not sure if I got the right blend of spices to perfect the taste." Passing a spoon to my mom with a bit of sauce in it.

"Here, let me try. ... ... Ummm, this is perfect. I didn't know you can cook complex dishes like this; the savory, sweet, and tangy taste is perfectly balanced. Hey Cloe, darling, what are you waiting for? Pass me now the plate and rice, please."

We all laughed, amused, and happy, watching my mom so excited to devour the food.

We are having a happy conversation while masticating our food. Zig tries to open up the topic that we've been edging to tell my mom.

"By the way, Tita, do you think it's okay if---."

Ring... Ring...

A sudden ring of his phone distracts our conversation. He hasn't said what he's supposed to say. Instead, he gets the phone out from his pocket, "Excuse me." He nods in regards to us before he moves a little bit farther from us.

Eventually, he bolted in our dining door, with the anxious look he utters. "Tita, Cloe, I'm sorry, but I need to go.." His eyes stayed on me for seconds, and he scurried away, leaving our mouth open haven't got a chance to reply."

Before I went to bed, I give Ziggy a ring for not hearing him back since leaving this morning. It rings but no answer, I redialed it and get the same response, no answer. 'Hmm, he's busy?' I thought.

And decided to send a text.

(Cloe) Hey Zig, what happened? You leave in a rush this morning, are you okay?

It's almost an hour without a response from my text. I even forgot after I went on slumber, feeling the calmness brought by his scent on my pillow.

Stretching on my bed in a gay smile, still hanged over with the feeling of bliss from the other day. I stand up abruptly, fixed my bed. I clean up my room while singing at the top of my lungs and dancing like crazy. Inspire to see Ziggy again today.

5 6 7 8

Dance with me in my backyard boy

Looking super fine in your corduroy

Drive me around the block

We can go in a loop

And we'll turn the volume up

On some good boy band tunes

Love to feel the fresh air

I can feel your eyes stare.

I stopped and was startled, seeing my phone falls down the floor after I bump my side table. I checked it, making sure it's fine and still working. And it was only that moment that I noticed Ziggy's reply to my message.

(Ziggy) I will see you tomorrow evening. I need to tell you something.

I brow furrowed a bit, and slightly sad that I still have to wait the whole day before I'll see him again. That doesn't matter anyway; I will still see him. I'm just too inspired that I clean the entire house make my mom beams with wonder.

I run downstairs after hearing a knock on our front door. It's probably Ziggy, and indeed it is. After saying hi to my mom, we sit formally in front of the TV, with no suspicious movements of any kind since we haven't actually spilled the beans to my mom. We just waited for her to get sleepy and went upstairs.

After a while, I can feel him holding my hand and kissed it. I looked straight to his face smiling, but it didn't take long, watching how gloomy his eyes show. It was then the I remembered his text.

"You said, you want to tell me something?"

He nods and looks at me. "Cloe, I'm sorry."

I freeze after I heard his words; my whole body numbs. There some kind of dread to know what he's about to say next. Why? I want to utter the word, but I don't want to hear the answer, so I didn't say anything and just furrowed my eyebrow.

"Always remember that I love you so much. I may be away from your sight and not beside you. Please believe that I will always be here running for you every time, anytime you need me."

He sounds so serious that I'm beginning to feel anxious. I decide to crack a joke to ease my jitters. "Superman? Spiderman? Captain America? is that you? Why do you need to run towards me when all you need to do is hold my hands, always and never let go?"

He holds my hands tighter and kissed them intensely with his eyes closed. I look at him, still confused, until he opens his eyes again and looks me straight in the eye. "Cloe, I need to go back to Bohol."

My eyes brighten and loosen my breath. "Of course, it's your hometown, and it's summer. Do you want me to go with you on vacation? I think my mom won't mind. Then we're going to come back here together by the opening of the school year."

Without a word, he turns away while taking a glimpse on his wristwatch, then stands up. "I think I need to head home."

I quickly stood up after him and grabbed his wrist, so he can't go farther away before leaving me in confusion. "Zig, Do we have a problem?"

He shakes his head without giving a glance. " I really need to go, and so you can take a rest. Don't think anything else; and just always remember that I love you." He embraces me tightly and kisses me on my checks. He slides his hands to my arms 'till he found my palms and held them tightly, staring at it closely, as if trying to memorize every feature to paint it. A little while later, he started to loosen his grip and release it slowly and finally let go, as he strides away to the door without giving me another glimpse.