I was enjoying the novel a bit since it finally reach the teleportation arc but them BAM! A rewrite....... Things the author should hopefully leave out this time: 1. Ocs (original characters). There is just too many characters to enjoy in the original storyline that there is no need for them. It is like reading a naruto novel when suddenly a random character like nami or orihime comes in out of nowhere. 2. No alternate universe. They suck. 3. Follow the storyline of the novel. There is too many fillers in the other novels of the author that I don't know what year that the writer will finish a novel. 4. Make it fast pace. It took forever to reach the teleportation arc and this is only volume 2 out of 12 volumes of the original novel. There is soo much to work with that there is no need to being fixated in adding new characters and plot. Just follow the storyline and you will be good. You should honestly be at the teleportation arc by chapter 20 in my opinion. Any longer is just too slow for a fanfic. It honestly feel like it is going slower than the actual novel/manga. Rating may change depending on the author update and plot.
Love how you gave Rein an actual personality this time instead of your previous work. I do hope you take time to explore Rein's and Rudy's relationship as reincarnated twins. I do have 1 request have Rudy get all of his original harem members. Slyph, Roxy and Eris were important for Rudy's development. If you are going to give Rein a harem can please use girls that don't get enough spotlight.