8 Plans

[Author] 

So, on patreon they voted for the next customer to be randomly generated, and it fucked me a little bit. As a result, this chapter will contain some bullshit and head canon, because it wasn't explained in the show. If it's bad, feel free to flame me in the comments lol. 

Also, when Kale is actually trying to telepathically talk to the mist (Named Millicent for now) the text will be Italicized. Hope that helps. 

Spoilers for the Tensei Shitara Slime Datta Ken novels, you have been warned! 

[Kale]

I really wasn't expecting it to be that easy, level 713 just like that. If it was going to be that simple, why not just make me max level everywhere? In any case, personal power is both necessary and helpful, even as a merchant. If I'm in another world selling, I could just be killed if someone doesn't like a price for something. Thats ignoring the fact I want to be able to sell to anyone, regardless of strength or status. 

Sadly, that's not exactly realistic. How many universal beings would want anything I have, outside of the laws I can extract from the Elden ring? Most universal beings have plenty of conceptual attacks, so my weapons won't help much if at all, much less armor. Some talismans have interesting effects, but that's only good for studying when you're at that level. Miquella's needle might be useful for universal level people, but only one that works like in Placidusax's arena. Even then, it's still only a maybe. 

Consumables are straight up useless for people like that, same for spirit ashes. Sure, they might pique curiosity, but that only goes so far. Spells might sell to people like Gods of magic and strong enough mages, but that's only because of the unique magic system they might like to study. Runes themselves might be interesting, as a form of remnant soul energy that could do God knows how many things if properly studied. Torrent could be a pet, I guess. Fact is I have basically nothing to offer beings of that level, again bar laws. No matter how strong, Laws are laws. I'm sure countless beings would love the chance to study laws of a foreign world, even more so for gods who hold divinity relating to those laws. 

Of course, all this is assuming I'm even strong enough to bargain with these types of people. This is also why I'm hoping to trade instead of using any type of currency. I can only hope to upgrade with each exchange to the point I have something universal+ beings would actually want or need. Millicent, what's the best way for me, currently, to break the limit and reach universal level?

"Master, after a thorough look through your memories, I believe a skill on the level of Void God Azathoth, from the Tensei Shitara Slime Datta Ken novels would be the best way at the moment." Really? I mean that's a skill that practically surpasses the level of ultimate skills. Even Rimuru only got it after having Ciel, an extremely powerful ultimate skill on its own, merge four other ultimate skills. Made up of Beelzebub, Raphael, and both Veldora's and Velgrynd's ultimate skills. Why is that the best way?

"Firstly, Master seems to hold a special desire to go to this world and befriend the one known as Rimuru Tempest. As someone who never had any friends in life, it is understandable you would want one now, especially someone similar to you, like Rimuru. Also, master holds the potential to have multiple ultimate skills due to the grasp of laws you have from the Elden Beasts remembrance and your own experiments." Okay, no need to call me out like that! I had friends! Only online, but they count! Besides, who doesn't like Rimuru? He's loyal, likes anime and games, funny, and he's from around the same time period as me. 

Still, it makes sense. Ultimate skills in slime are extremely op, giving an absurd amount of hax and various abilities. Alright, you sold me. Let's get through one more set of customers, and then we'll invite Rimuru. Quick question, will Great sage or any evolved variants be able to see through me? 

No, master. You can take various steps to prevent this from happening. One of which is to simply use the law of fate to obscure any aspect of yourself from any form of observation. You can also fill yourself with me, the mist, and anything weaker than Ciel will be unable to see through me. Hmm, I'll just do both. Go ahead and fill me up, pause. The mist surges towards me, and seeps into my very being. It doesn't feel bad, like I'm constantly being embraced by a warm hug. Next up, the law of fate. 

I reach deep into the Elden Ring, searching. The law of fate is a strong one, being easily top three in my opinion. Once I find it amongst the countless lesser laws that make up the ring, I take hold of it and urge it to manipulate my own fate. When I see it, it's like a sheet of music written in smeared ink. Must be the mist obscuring it, but a slight bit of prodding makes the notes clear. I'm not quite sure what each note means yet, but I can change them however I want. I don't want to mess with something like this too much, so I blur the ink even further, making the music completely unreadable. 

I feel a sudden shift, deep within the core of my being. I can't help but sigh in relief when I release my hold on the law of fate. Thats dangerous, I shouldn't play with fate until I learn more about it, or at least until I can actually read the music. Okay, call in the next customers Millicent. Yes master, right away. It takes a bit, but soon two beings appear before me. Weird, I can't sense them at all. 

One of them is a shirtless purple entity with long ears, resembling a cat. The other stands slightly behind him, like an attendant. His skin a light shade of blue, with white hair going straight up, like a tower. He holds a staff with a greenish orb at the top. A bluish white ring hangs around his neck. For fucks sake, is that Beerus and Whis? 

Before anything, I reach out to the law of time and freeze everything but myself. I stand ready, as Whis has shown time related abilities before. As nothing happens, I calm down but don't unfreeze them. Millicent, what the hell? I thought I told you not to call beings stronger than me!

Master, you underestimate yourself and overestimate Beerus and Whis. While it's true that most beings on the level of Beerus and Whis have many abilities that could counter you, dragon ball characters have a frankly absurd lack of abilities relative to their pure power. As you can see, you have effectively defeated them already. Okay, that's fair. sorry for jumping the gun and getting angry without thinking. Also, Beerus is kind of bullshit. His power changes so much over the course of the show that it's hard to place him. He went from using 70% against SSG Goku, to being able to beat up to SSB Vegeta relatively easily. But Dragon Ball is a weird show anyways, scaling all over the place. 

Let's weaken Beerus first though, Whis is much less likely to try to rampage. I reach into the Elden ring and find the law of destruction. I take it, and I erase it. The very concept of destruction no longer exists until I make a new, fully whole Elden ring. That should be enough for me to more easily handle Beerus if Whis doesn't. If they try anything ill just freeze time again or force them out. I'm 100% safe here. I even have a plan to make sure this goes well! 

With all my prep done, I unfreeze time, and Beerus adopts a shocked and horrified expression almost instantly. "My power, the power of destruction, its gone? Why can't I feel it anymore?" He looks up at me, same as Whis has been doing this whole time. "Was it you? What did you do to my power!" Beerus's voice explodes in volume, and I can feel the world start to shake. Before me or Beerus can take action, Whis steps forward. 

"Please calm down, Lord Beerus. I can't sense his strength at all, and he should have some information about this place. Time also seems to not flow here, could you enlighten us? I presume you sent that invitation?" Whis's voice is calm, but he has a focused expression on his face. Beerus seems to calm down after a moment, and the world stops shaking. Okay, time for step one. 

"Welcome to the great caravan, and yes, I did invite you here. But first, you must be hungry. I will the mist, and a massive spread of food made up of boiled prawn, crab, turtleneck, and every other type of food in Elden ring appears. Thing is, they can't possibly not love this food. I made this food as delicious as food can possibly be, and since the food itself is rooted in Elden ring, it worked. There's no way they can resist this. 

The smell of the food is divine, I almost dive in myself. Beerus is no better, and practically teleports to the food and starts devouring it. Whis has a slightly more dignified approach. He grabs some boiled prawn and eats one, then all that dignity is gone like the wind. He is soon right beside beerus devouring the food like there's no tomorrow. I soon join in and take a bite of crab. Damn, that's fucking delicious! I can't help myself, and like them start eating like I've been starved for years. Okay, add this food to the list of things I can sell to any being. 

Thankfully, I can spawn an infinite amount of food, and it's not hard to keep up with our eating. After eating an ungodly amount of food, we all collapse with full stomachs. I actually collapsed before them, but that's neither here nor there. I really need to test more. Millicent, using this logic couldn't I make a weapon as strong as a weapon can be?

Unfortunately, no you can't. There is a limit to our power, and at best you can make a weapon as strong as you are currently. Food is an exception because it's possible to make peak food regardless of strength or energy. Taste is entirely subjective; this food simply tastes like whatever you would like the most. Well, it was worth a shot. Time for step two of my master plan!

"I trust you enjoyed the food. As the invitation said, I'm a merchant, but I care not for currency. I deal in trades, and this food is up for sale. As much as you could possibly want. I have many other things that would interest you, but that's assuming you have treasures worth trading." My words have an almost instant effect, as Beerus and Whis stand up with greed plastered all over their eyes. But it seems they have more control than I thought, as they suppress their greed moments later. 

"While the food was beyond divine, I still demand an explanation. What happened to my power?" Beerus speaks up first, and it's an expected question. Millicent, should I be honest?

Yes, master. This will give them reason to fear your powers and make them less likely to act out. Alright then, let's hope this goes well. "Well, I assumed you might rampage, and I'd like my world to remain in tack, so I stole your power for a bit. If you do not rampage, I will return it to you." I keep my voice level and even, I'm not scared anyway. Beerus should understand with this and behave. Dealing with gods is such a pain. 

Beerus's expression morphs into one of shock and mild fear. Even Whis has a look of shock on his face. "I will not attack you, now return my power." His voice is strained, but who would like to have their main power robed of them? I use the mist and replace the ring I have with a new Elden ring, one with the law of destruction intact. I see beerus visibly react and loosen his tensed muscles. 

Whis speaks next, "Thank you for the mean, what's your name? I'd also like an explanation on where we are and why you invited us." Whis's voice is slightly energetic, kind of like a child but not. Well, phase two didn't exactly work, but here's hoping phase three will work. I really want ultra instinct. 

"Of course, my name is Kale. Now, where to start?" 

[Author]

Thanks for the read, what do you think? First interaction with beings greater than him, lemme know if you think this is too much BS. 

Check out patreon for free polls regarding customers, certain events, and a poll on Kale's main ultimate skill is up! 

patreon.com/MultiversalEldenRingMerchant