1 i never thought I would love again

Introduction

All of my life I have been living a horrible and miserable life I was hurt by those I love and I did the same to those who love me my name is Nthatuwa I live with my mom and I am really not the perfect daughter she wished to have I have done a lot of bad things worst of all I had a baby at a very young age my baby is the best thing I have ever had , I love him more than I love myself , I live to impress him make him be proud of me

I hardly have friends cause most of them don't love the real me am always alone and depressed but my mom is always there to cheer me up

I never thought of the day I lost my baby I never thought he would leave so soon it breaks me everyday , I just can't accept that he is no more it's really unusual for a girl like me to be single but I guess it's the right choice

I live a lonely life and I pray for a change in it

Part 1 ...

Mom was busy with the laundry and there I was , in my bedroom , crying like someone died or it's the end of the world I hardly tell my mom about what's happening in my life cause she is sometimes too judgemental . I stayed in my room for hours I think my mom sometimes forgets about me she hardly even asks how am I feeling.

Losing my baby boy broke me a lot but I still go to school but it's like the whole world has gone blank I can't even feel the air around us , I am lonely

"Nthatuwa I think you should start cleaning the house 0r go and sleep somewhere else cause I can't leave with a lazy lady !" My mom said as she pulled up the blanket and gave me a hot and painful slap , I always try to tell her about my issue but she just says I love complaining I think am special

I cleaned the house and took a quick shower and went to the park this is the place where I find peace , it's a place where I get to think without being disturbed , I chilled for like 2 hours and decided to go back home even before I could even stand up , I was startled by a good looking guy he was standing right behind me , I screamed and he said "No please don't be scared I didn't mean to scare you but your beauty attracted me while I was passing and I just couldn't pass without asking for your tenz " I smiled for the first time in weeks , I was flattered , I gave him my number and left .

I was smiling all the way home, I just couldn't believe that I was approached by a guy cause guys around here don't like me , they say I am rude , I was enjoying my walk until my day was ruined , I met my baby daddy he greeted me and laughed "I think you should move from this place cause I feel like vomiting whenever I see you"he said , I was so shocked I didn't even attempt to say anything I just cried and went home .

Part 2 ....

I am used to being insulted , so it doesn't matter anymore, I went home and chilled with my mom , told her about what happened. We bonded like old days , I was tired of crying I wanted to change my life but the pain kept on increasing I just couldn't forget .

I did my daily chores and went to my room , got in bed and watched some movie , as I was still enjoying the movie my phone rang , I couldn't recognize the number so I answered without saying anything and to my surprise it was the guy from the park I jumped out of the bed and ran around the room , I was too excited we spoke for like 2 hours and he asked me out , I agreed with joy I dropped the phone and went to sleep

I woke up early in the morning to prepare myself for school "today I am in a very good mood" I said to myself , without wasting time I prepared and ate some breakfast , kissed my mother and went out . I was walking alone and bored , just thinking about so many stuff , stuff that don't even concern me " what's happening with her " said some girls from school as I walked in , I looked at them and wondered what's up with them , I didn't mind them that much I went to my class . I greeted but no one answered me , I was so shocked and scared at the same time "what happened ?" I asked a learner next to me but I didn't get any response I took out my reading book and read . A few minutes later the teacher arrived , she greeted like always and called out my name " Nthatuwa! Come here ". I stood up as slowly as I could , everyone was looking at me as I walked to the teacher , I didn't say anything I stood there like a mad person " Nthatuwa now that you are a theif , and you don't care about anyone I want you to take your bag and everything that belongs to you and get out of the school" , she said . I tried explaining I didn't do anything , no one bothered to listen they just wanted me out of the school , the teacher helped me with my stuff and kicked me out of the gate .

"I am innocent please believe me " I said to her but she just left .

Part 3 ....

I cried all the way home , not knowing what's going on , I was very confused , my heart was broken into unfixable pieces , " why don't I just die !!" I shouted as I ran faster until I got home and found my mother with the police , I entered and greeted , trying to wipe my tears without being noticed , " Nthatuwa what has happened to you , how could you even do that , who helped you ? " My mom asked me with a sad face ,she was broken I could see that she didn't trust me , I didn't answer I placed my bag on the sofa and sat down . "Young girl today I am going to arrest you for theft , you have the right to remain silent or anything you say can be used against you in court " the police officer said as he handcuffed me , I was jumping , crying , trying to tell them that I didn't do anything but nobody wanted to hear anything from me , they just wanted me out of their faces , they hated me , my mom feared me , I could see the disappointment on her face , the tears in her heart but I couldn't do anything .

I wasn't even given a chance to talk , I was thrown in the cell with scary , smelly and rude ladies , seemed like they have been in for quite awhile . I sat at the corner of the room wanting no disturbance , I wanted to think but some lady decided to ruin my peaceful moment , "hey you ! Can't you see that's my spot !" She said in a very rude and loud tone , I didn't bother myself cause I wanted peace I stood up and said " there's your spot can you leave me alone now !? " She laughed as hard as she could and gave me a hot slap , she punched until I couldn't feel my body , the prison wardens arrived and rushed me to the prison hospital .

As I lied on the bed looking at the prison ceiling I cried and prayed , I wondered what happened , what did I steal to deserve such punishment , why doesn't anyone want to listen to me , its clear that they have always wanted to get rid of me ....