Suffocation

Crying in the dark with a lot of pain just hurts more than anything. I don't even remember how many times i had cried in that pillows Another boring day of my life , as lia said (my friend) I used to suffocate in myself because I can't tell those feelings that came to my heart every second . Get up! Or else you will get late for the school , it has become a daily listening from my mother to me. Getting ready, having breakfast, and wearing that disgusting school uniform just makes me so bore. Then, that bus bus in which I have to shout to get a seat although I don't have any repotation in my bus but yes I am used to this now , having no repoatation and being ignored. Entering the school, is where from my suffocation starts again . In my class my friends yea who don't also respects me and use me just for getting work from me. They used to ignore me too, but I don't even know why I used to sit with them in the school, maybe because I don't have any other friend. They are nothing but what fake friends look like. I used to wonder why my classmates aren't like my tution friends who used to at least respect me and don't use to me to just get the school work. And there's come my family, I belong to a middle class family. I used to be happy but I don't know why lia called my life boring maybe because I don't watch social media much. My suffocation is just that I can't even explain this.Again she took up a fight with me.I'm just so done with all the school. hts. Sometimes it makes me feel that i am being used and i don't have any friends ,maybe this is true . Because people call my manipulative,selfish,greedy and i don't remember what else. When i used to go anywhere with those fake it makes me so angry thay they just used to talk in them only , I am just for no reason. I don't know that i am really that much rude or I am being treated like that for no reason. That's why i have a lot of anxiety going to the school