To Him, Who Knows No Love

Intense hunger woke me from a satisfying sleep. I can feel my stomach complaining how it has not tasted food for probably a thousand years. The aches from all over my body are now completely gone and the only thing my physical body feels is starvation. When I looked outside, it was already dawn and it looks like I, again missed the sunlight. It amazes me how my body got accustomed to sleeping at daytime and waking up at night even after I lost all sense of time. I, again walked out of my room and looked for something to fill my stomach with. This is the first time I got a good look at the interior of the house. It is mainly built with wood accompanied by glass windows and maroon colored curtains. It is not as elegant, for sure, as the palace of the moon elf king, but it does imply that royal feeling with its structure. I found some pieces of bread in the living room and went outside to again, look for Estes. Unlike before, I now have an idea of where he might be so I came back to that same place. For the second time, I saw the beauty of the moon in his face. He was shining, not enough to hurt your eyes but enough to make you stare In awe. This image has changed my definition of beauty. I stopped myself from being hypnotized by the sight my eyes have laid on and walked towards him.

-I suppose you have quite the obsession for the moon, Moon Elf King?

-Probably. It's just that the moon reminds me of all the good things from my land. My family, my friends, all the beautiful sceneries.

I reflect on what he said and realized that even he, who seems so cold and emotionless at first does have things that makes him sad.

-Then why don't you come back to your world?

-I have lost every right and means to return after I ran away from all my responsibilities.

With the little that he said, I understood better why he, the Moon Elf King, is currently living in the forest, alone and without anything left to adore except he moon. This also explained why he gave off that expression when asked about his life. We are the same. We both escaped from the never-ending sorrow of the war, the greed, the deceptions, the murders. We are both weak creatures forced to live a life of strong ones; he as a King and I as a goddess.

-Perhaps that is what brought me to you, Estes.

Estes looked at me as if waiting for an explanation.

-We are the same deep inside our cores. We loved our people so much that we sacrificed even ourselves only to be disappointed in the end. And because we are afraid of the things we can and cannot do, we sought for an escape.

-You sure is one audacious goddess, Twilight Goddess.

-But is it not the truth? We loved only to be used by the people we love.

-Love, you say? I fail to comprehend such trivial matter. The word itself does not fit the title of the king.

-I never meant it in a romantic sense, though.

-Neither do I.

-You absolutely do.

-What could be your basis for that?

-Because I am an emotional being and you are cold as ice?

-That is not enough reason to think that you have a hold of my thoughts, goddess.

-If you insist, then. But I believe it would be nice if I felt that love in a romantic sense with you.

I spouted without thinking. My lips may have slipped, but I actually meant what I said. I have long wanted to feel love. To be more precise, I wanted to be with someone. I have always been alone. For thousands of years, I was surrounded by people but never once felt the heat of another person next to mine. Is it another consequence of being a goddess? Probably. But I believe even someone with great responsibilities such as me has the right to feel love. That is probably what brought me to Estes, and him to me. If there is a higher being in control of all the living creatures in all of the universe, he probably brought us together to feel it, because everyone, even once has to. Still, just like Estes, I have no idea how love feels.

There was a long pause after what I said, Estes' expression unchanging. He then stood up and said,

-If you'll excuse me, goddess. I may have some things to do.

Estes immediately left. Just a few steps and I thought it would do me good if I poke fun at him and so I uttered,

-Are you perhaps flustered?

-Such feelings do not exist in my world.

-But we are not in your world so you definitely feel that way.

-Your thought processing amazes me so.

With that, Estes continued to walk ahead as the night ended.