22 A Side Quest? Already?

Author's note:

I'm on a roll right now! I have to go to bed after posting this, but I hope that my creative juices aren't completely gone by the time I wake up tomorrow. I also hope they aren't drained by the soul-sucking hell that is working for apple's phone service.

Some of the idiots I have to talk to make me want to exterminate the human race and be done with it.

Also! I ended up having to delete and re-create the previous chapter in order to make it part of the second volume, so I hope not of you are upset about losing the comments you made. I can still see them on my end, and commend you for them

Anyway! I hope you all like the chapter!

***

<Port Natalia – A few hours later>

Kevin was able to make it back to the Inn just as the rest of the town was waking up. The ambient noise associated with busy streets started to permeate the calm morning air, gradually getting louder until it was a constant hum in the background.

Upon entering the room, he was greeted by Alice already being awake and shifted back into her human disguise. "Where'd you go?" she questioned as she stretched her arms out above her head.

"Went for a walk down by the beach," he replied, shrugging his shoulders. "Couldn't get back to sleep, so I thought I might as well get some exercise."

"And you brought your bag with you?" she continued to ask, gesturing to his backpack.

He nodded. "Yeah. I noticed something weird about it, but didn't want to wake you up so I took it with me to experiment."

Now Alice was intrigued. "What did you find?"

"Well, I think my Patron God finally smiled down upon me, because it definitely got an upgrade," the boy grinned. While he hadn't wanted to wake the Monster Lord up with his conversation with the System, he had no problem revealing his discoveries. He just needed to position it as if he'd made the discoveries himself. "After running it through a few tests, I discovered that it's immune to literally everything I can throw at it. Fire, water, lightning, physical impacts, etc. If I'm not mistaken, I think it's indestructible.

"To top it all off, the space I sleep in has become more comfortable than any bed I've ever slept on, the secondary compartment has infinite space inside, and time seems to stop for whatever I put inside the infinite space," he concluded.

By the end of his explanation, Alice's brain had short-circuited. It was only in the last few days that she'd finally come to terms with how broken her travel companion's powers were when compared to the rest of the world. It was ridiculous, but she eventually came to terms with it and thanked whatever gods existed, other than Ilias, that it was just him that was outrageously overpowered.

Now, though, his ordinary backpack was suddenly better than the extradimensional storage she had between her breasts, and completely invulnerable? "That's just not fair," she mumbled, her eyes unfocused as she tried to understand how this could happen.

The air became slightly colder as Kevin's expression turned serious. "No, it's completely fair with the other shit I was subjected to."

Shaking her head to get out of the daze, the lamia raised an eyebrow at him. "Would this have something to do with the other statement you made yesterday about this 'Patron God' of yours being a complete asshole?"

"Yep," he bobbed his head in confirmation. "I won't go too deep into it now, but suffice to say that my evolutions have been fucked over in more ways than one."

Knowing that the middle of a populated city wasn't the place to talk about the boy's overpowered transformations, the Monster Lord deemed it acceptable to leave the questions for the next time they camped out. Instead, she let her mind drift to how she could convince him to allow her to store as much fresh food as she could buy in his backpack so she wouldn't have to worry about it spoiling or having to wait for him to cook something up when they made camp.

Having purchased a map, the duo eventually decided that it was best for them to mark San Ilia as their next destination. It was smack-dab in the center of Natalia, so the likelihood that it had a surplus of supplies and information passing through it at any point in time was high.

"What do you think are the odds that everyone there is a religious screwball with a Holy Hard-on for Ilias?" Kevin asked as they made their way to the northern edge of the town.

Alice snorted. "incredibly high. Just the fact that the king is a high priest of the blond bimbo is enough to tip the scales in that direction."

Just as they were getting into making snipes at the goddess's followers, a familiar voice called out to them. "Oh! Aren't you the traveler from yesterday?"

Turning around, they spot the mermaid who was giving way more exposition than necessary yesterday, before the school exploded. She was carrying bags of groceries, likely having just finished shopping for the day, and was looking at Kevin with surprise.

Said shota sighed and looked up at the sky, as if asking 'why me?' Fortunately, he knew not to actually ask that question, because the answer would probably bite him in the ass. "Yeah, that was me," he groaned.

"Sorry about cutting our conversation short last time," she apologized. "Due to the explosion, I ended up forgetting about our conversation."

"I wish I could forget it. You just kept rambling on an on without actually getting to the point," the boy stated emotionlessly.

The mermaid had the decency to look embarrassed. "Yeah…I guess I was laying the drama on a little thick at the time. My name's Meia, by the way! Nice to meet you."

"I'm Kevin, and this is Alice. Now that we've got that out of the way, we'll just be on our way-"

"Wait a minute!" Meia exclaimed, dropping one of her bags so she could reach out and grab his sleeve. "Don't go yet! I would like to make a request of you."

Kevin found himself sighing again. "Please, tell me it has nothing to do with sex. I already fried one mermaid for trying to fuck me, I don't want to have to electrocute another."

That comment caused the monster girl to quickly retract her hand. "That was you? I heard of someone attacking a mermaid down at the Mermaid Bar when she touched him, but I didn't think – No, that's beside the point! It has nothing to do with having sex with me. If anything, I need your help with my relationship."

Kevin and Alice slowly turned to look each other in the eye, the latter even going so far as to eye the boy up and down, before turning back to the mermaid. "I think you have the wrong boy if that's what you want," the lamia informed her. "If anything, he's more likely to ruin a relationship than to help it."

"Harsh, but true," the Eevee agreed.

"That's not…I just…ugh," Meia moaned in frustration. "Can just…follow me back to my house? I'll explain it further there."

While neither of them really wanted to follow the mermaid to her house, both travelers could admire the effort she was putting into getting their help. So, they trailed behind her back to her home, devoid of worry. The worst case scenario would be if Meia was leading them to some kind of trap to violate Kevin, and even that was most likely to end with them leaving behind a freshly cooked mermaid roast.

After entering and setting the groceries down in the kitchen, the mermaid led them into her living room and sat them down on the sofa while she went back into the kitchen. "Please excuse the small house. I don't have much to entertain you with either," Meia once again apologized.

"We are literally just here so you can explain what you meant earlier," Kevin bluntly stated.

Alice nodded. "We're not that busy, but we did have place we were planning to go. Your request better not be stupid."

The mermaid came back with a plate full of small pastries that had various pieces of seafood stuck in them, like crabs and seaweed, as well as tea. Alice wasted no time in reaching for the cakes, her attention almost instantly shifting from the conversation to filling up the black hole she called her stomach.

"So, what did you mean when you said you needed my help with your relationship?" the Eevee questioned as the mermaid sat down on a chair across from them.

"Well…I'm in love with a human," she admits, a blush appearing on her cheeks.

"…" Kevin stared at her expectantly. "Yeah…and? Grass is green, the sky is blue, and you're beating around the bush like a moron again. Are we done stating the obvious?"

That was one way to take the wind out of a woman's sails. She visibly deflated as she was brought out of her imagination. "Do you have to be so mean?" she pouted.

"No, but I hate it when people beat around the bush for thirty minutes. Get to the point or I'm leaving, and taking all of your food with me," he threatened.

"Fine…" the mermaid sighed. "Anyway, he and I are already in a relationship, and have lived in this house for a while. He's actually out fishing right now. But, although we love each other very much, we're not married because we can't perform the Marriage Trial dictated by marine law."

Kevin was starting to see where this was going.

"When a mermaid and a human get married, they have to offer a written pledge to the Queen at the temple on the seabed. But…the monsters along the way to the temple are too dangerous. I have some magic power, but my darling isn't too strong. We wouldn't be able to make it there safely."

"I'm just gonna come out and say that marriage is overrated," the teenager piped up. "It's the leading cause of divorce, after all." The conversation paused as both Alice and Meia proceeded to stare at him as if he'd grown a second head. "Why are you staring at me like that? I'm right!"

"Why is this the traveler I had to pick?" Meia mumbled under her breath. Out of everyone that regularly passed through Port Natalia, she chose the one that viewed marriage as a joke. Setting those thoughts aside, she internally reaffirmed that she wasn't a quitter, and continued. "I would like to hire you to go to the bottom of the sea and deliver our pledge to the Queen."

Kevin cocked an eyebrow. "What do we get out of this? It's kinda a long trip to the sea floor, you know. And most people can't breathe underwater." He purposely left out the fact that he could in his Vaporeon form.

It should be mentioned that he didn't even think to question whether or not it was allowed for a person to deliver the pledge for someone else. If the price was right, he'd go so far as to beat the shit out of this Queen and force her to take the pledge if he had to. After all, Meia was correct in thinking that he viewed marriage as a joke, and he had no problems with destroying a tradition.

His parents made sure of that.

Meia would've offered sex, but quickly recalled the threat he made and the rumors of what he did to the waitress. "I could…um…give you some gold?" she offered. "I don't have much, but I'm sure I could get enough together to pay you."

"That's a good start," the boy nodded. "But not quite worth the hassle. Do you have anything else?"

The mermaid's shoulder's sagged. "The only other thing I have to offer is the [Ball of Guidance]," she admitted, after which she pulled a transparent crystal sphere from a side table.

Kevin reached out to pick it up. "What does it do?" he asked.

"If you use it on the beach nearby, it will open up a path to the undersea road. It also grants the ability to breath underwater to those who can't do so naturally," Meia explained.

As the Eevee was inspecting it and mulling over whether or not something with such limited usage was worth taking as a payment, the System chimed in with its obnoxiously cheerful voice.

[Attention Host: one Pure Energy Type has been detected within the object the Host is currently holding. The Host is already in possession of this Type, but assimilation of this artifact will unlock more functions within the Eeveelution System. Would the Host like to assimilate the energy into himself to unlock new functions?]

'Hmm…should I?' Kevin internally mused. So far, he'd absorbed two objects, the sword [Angel Halo] and [Poseidon's Bell]. The former gave him the 'Seal Enemies' setting that he could toggle on and off to prevent him from killing things no matter how much damage he did to them, while the latter added the 'Ideal Weather' setting, making it so the weather always complemented his current form. With the evidence provided so far, any new function provided by the [Ball of Guidance] was almost certain to be useful beyond the artifact's original purpose.

"It's a deal, then," he said with a smile, while simultaneously giving the System a mental confirmation as well.

[Commencing Assimilation]

While Kevin and Alice were used to this by now, having seen it twice, Meia was shocked to see the crystal sphere suddenly start shining brighter and brighter until it was blinding, then disintegrate. The particle flowed into the Eevee's chest until there was nothing left, and the process was finished.

[Congratulations! The Assimilation of the artifact Ball of Guidance was a success!]

[New Setting unlocked: Clairvoyant Path]

'Oooooo,' Kevin thought with a smile. 'System, please tell me this is what I think it is.'

[Should the Host activate the Clairvoyant Path setting while focusing on a person, location, or goal, a spectral trail will appear for thirty seconds leading in the direction of the target. Can only be used once per hour.]

'I knew it! It's just like the Clairvoyance spell in Skyrim!' he mentally cheered, though only allowed a small smile of satisfaction to appear on his face. 'Considering the genres of this world, other than hentai, even the thirty seconds per hour will be worth whatever hell this quest puts me through.'

He was brought out of his thoughts by Meia speaking up. "Um…I'm not the only one who saw that…right?"

"No, you're not," Alice reassured her, though her tone remained neutral as always. "That's just something he does when encountering magical weapons and artifacts. He did the same to a sword I planned to let him borrow."

"That's good," Meia sighed in relief. "I thought I was hallucinating. Still…I'm not sure how well you'll fair without the Ball of Guidance…" she trailed off.

"Let us worry about that," Kevin grinned, standing up and pulling his backpack off. "Where's that pledge?"

Meia pulled out the sealed envelope and handed it over. Kevin then unceremoniously unzipped the Bag of Holding compartment, dropped the letter in, and closed it before returning it to his back. All the mermaid could do was hope that he knew what he was doing, and it wouldn't get crushed and wrinkled under whatever else he had in the bag.

Beckoning to Alice, the teenager walked to the entrance. "We'll be leaving then. We'll stop by after the delivery is finished."

Just before they could reach the door, it opened inward to reveal a small boy. He was dressed in a smaller copy of the outfits the fishermen down by the docks wore, and held a fishing pole in one hand and a tackle box in the other. He was shorter than Kevin, and looked younger than Kevin, but the Eevee's instincts told him that the latter wasn't true.

"Meia! I'm home!" he called out.

"Darlling! You're back early!" the mermaid exclaimed with glee.

One look into her eyes told both the Eevee and the Monster Lord that this wasn't some adopted son or child the mermaid had with her husband-to-be. However, the teenage Pokemon violently derailed that train of thought before it could go too far.

After looking back and forth between the boy and the mermaid for a few seconds, he simply closed his eyes, said "I don't even want to know," and left.

***

Ten minutes later, Alice caught up with him at the east gate of the town. While he hadn't wanted to know what was going on, she stayed behind just long enough to learn that Meia had used mermaid magic to halt her partner's aging when he was still young, because she liked how cute he looked.

When the lamia explained this to Kevin, he groaned. "Fucking shotacons. If I was in his place, I would've broken up with her in a heartbeat."

Alice chuckled a bit. "Is that what you did to whoever made you perpetually look like a twelve-year-old?" she asked.

"No," the Eevee practically growled. "Unfortunately, its natural for my kind to look small and adorable, as long as we don't evolve. And since this is my base form, I'm likely going to look like this forever."

That piece of news actually made the Monster Lord let out a full laugh. She thought it was just because of him being a teenager, or his species aging and growing slowly like the foxes, but for him to actually admit that his base form will eternally be a shota, with his only escape being temporary evolutions? This was the funniest thing she'd heard all week.

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up," Kevin grumbled. "I can still kick your ass."

The disguised lamia heard this, and her laughter was immediately cut off in favor of looming intimidatingly over him. They were already out of sight of the gates by now, so she dispelled her disguise so she could raise herself even further on her snake tail. "Care to repeat that."

"You're terrified of ghosts and I have a Ghost form. Do that math," the boy replied nonchalantly.

Although he assumed that she was a Dark-Type, being the Monster Lord, Kevin suspected she would have Psychic as her second Type with the magic she'd been pulling off since they met. It would definitely be poetic for her Psychic Type side to be the reason for her fear of ghosts, even though her Dark Type side would negate it. Unfortunately, he wouldn't be able to know unless they fought one day, and he wasn't entirely keen on finding out which of them would actually win in a smackdown.

Alice shivered as his words echoed in her mind, simultaneously shrinking back down to her normal height. She wasn't enthusiastic about the idea of him unleashing his Ghost form on her, either, if she was being honest. She'd encountered undead monsters before, and even ghost-like monsters that had scientifically proven origins, but Kevin admitted to her before that Ghost Types back in his world were actually dead beings that came back as ghosts. The thought of them being common enough to be classified as a type of monster all on their own freaked the fuck out of her.

They continued to the beach and walked down to the edge of the water. The waves were small, the sea breeze was gentle, and the sky had just the right amount of clouds so that it was sunny most of the time, but shady whenever one of them passed in front of the sun. It was the perfect day for a visit to the beach.

Feeling the hot rays of the sun, Kevin wished he had some sort of sun screen. He wasn't entirely certain whether he could even get sunburned, but didn't want to risk it with the life he was living at the moment. He counted himself lucky that the only parts of his body exposed to the outside world were his hands, neck, and head.

"Speaking of the risk of a sunburn," he thought out loud, turning to look at his companion. "Alice, are YOU able to get sun burned? You skin is purple, so how does that –"

Without warning, in the middle of the boy's question, a dramatic pool of darkness formed a circle on the ground around her. She then proceeded to sink into it without changing her expression, leading Kevin to understand that this was her doing. It took a total of five seconds for her to completely sink into the shadows, and for the shadows themselves to fade away.

"I gotta hand it to her," Kevin stated, his tone remaining even. "Her creativity with her disappearances has been getting better lately. I wonder if she will take suggestions?" His musing was cut short, though, by a realization. "She left because another monster is coming, didn't she?" he groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

It was, indeed, the case, as a giant crab popped out of the sand a few yards way from him. It was taller than him, and the upper half of a female body on top just added to that height difference. Her dark orange hair was tied up in pig tails, and she stared at him with hungry red eyes.

One part, or should I say multiple parts, that didn't make sense to Kevin, though, were the sixteen female arms that lined the sides of her crab half. It wasn't as if her upper torso didn't have arms, after all, so these appendages were superfluous at best, and disturbing at worst.

[Crab Girl]

[Type: Water/Bug]

"…Hey," the crab girl said conversationally, waving at him. "Could you give me a little of your semen? I'm kinda hungry"

Seeing that she wasn't immediately launching herself at him like most of the bug-type girls he'd met before, the Eevee decided to handle this diplomatically for now. "I would prefer not to, but thanks for asking."

She frowned. "Come on, man. I've only had kelp and seaweed for the last two months. Can't you spare a little semen? Just two shots?"

"No," he replied, more firmly this time.

"How about one?"

"You're starting to annoy me."

"I'll go away if you give me some semen. I promise."

"You'll also go away if I beat you unconscious and blast you out into the middle of the ocean."

"…"

"…"

"That was rude," the crab girl pouted.

"Yeah? Well, so is bugging a guy to have sex with you. No means no. This is your last chance to go away before I kick your ass," Kevin warned.

The monster's frown deepened. "Aww…you want to fight?"

"No, but I will if you don't back the fuck off."

"Then, let me clean your dirty body," she stated ominously, spready her legs and getting into a stance. "Even if you cry while letting out all of your semen, I won't stop washing you."

"…That is the weirdest threat I ever recei – what the hell are you doing?"

Her threat started making more sense as the large mouth on her crab half opened, releasing an endless flow of bubbles. The Eevee assumed that they had some form of aphrodisiac laced into them, as most monsters did with their bodily fluids, so he quickly made the decision to keep outside of her reach.

Instead of transforming into one of his forms, he decided that it would be best for him to do this battle in his base form. After all, he wouldn't be able to use any evolution twice in the same day, and this monster girl wasn't strong enough to warrant a type advantage, from what he saw. At most, she most likely had increased defensive stats due to her hard armored shell.

"I hope you're *aaaaah haaaa* ready for this," he stated, using a Move mid-sentence.

[Yawn – Normal Type Move]

[Description: the user lets loose a huge yawn that lulls the target into falling asleep within a minute.]

Now, it was a game of keeping away from her as she turned and scuttled sideways toward him. She was fast, even faster than him on the sand, and was starting to catch up to him, despite getting drowsy.

"Let me wash your penis," she calls out, reaching out for him with the eight arms facing him.

'Fuck!' he internally cursed. '[Double Team]!'

[Double Team – Normal Type Move]

[Description: By moving rapidly, the user makes illusory copies of themselves to raise their evasiveness.]

Out of thin air, two identical copies of himself appear. In perfect sync, they run up next to him, then all three of them start bobbing and weaving around each other, making it impossible for the crab girl to tell which one was the real Kevin. After five seconds, they branch off and sprint and three different directions.

There were thirty seconds to go on the [Yawn]'s timer for it to take effect, and fortunately the monster dashed after one of the illusions. The Eevee boy heaved a sigh of relief, before moving aside to prepare another Move to slow her.

Just as the monster caught up to the clone, she released a more forceful torrent of bubbles while reaching out with both her human and crab arms. Contrary to her expectations, though, her limbs phased through the clone as it gave her a cheeky grin, before fading away.

Directly behind her, Kevin was prepared with the one Move that would allow him to get closer to her without having to worry about her bubbles.

[Disable – Normal Type Move]

[Description: For five minutes, this Move prevents the target from using the Move it last used.]

With that, the crab girl found herself incapable of producing bubbles anymore. "Hey! That's not fair, you cheater!" she yelled, finally starting to get riled up by the encounter.

Ten more seconds were on the countdown, so Kevin came closer. "Life isn't fair. I told you that I'd kick your ass if you didn't leave. Now, I'm gonna follow it up."

Crouching down, he put a fair amount of strength in his legs before launching himself toward her. The crab girl readied her massive claws to intercept him, but he twisted mid air to avoid them.

[Quick Attack – Normal Type Move]

[Description: The user lunges at the target to deal damage, moving at a speed that makes it almost invisble. This move always goes first.]

Landing fist-first on the monster girl's face, he sent her skidding back across the sand from the sheer force held behind the attack. A bruise in the shape of his fist appeared on her cheek, and tears appeared in her eyes as she staggered back to her legs.

"You think that will stop me, you –" she wasn't able to finish her threat before the [Yawn] finally circulated through her body, completely knocking her out.

For good measure, the teenager approached her unconscious form and delivered a full-force punch to her throat. It was powerful enough to break her neck, but she didn't die. Instead, she was engulfed in light and sealed into the form of a small crab, barely the size of a child's foot, and still unconscious.

"You didn't transform this time," Alice commented as she reappeared from a pool of shadows behind him. "I was starting to think that you couldn't fight at all in this form."

Kevin nodded. "Yeah. I prefer to have the Type advantage, but a restriction was placed on me making it so I can't use the same form more than once in a day, if I change back to my base form. I didn't want to waste a transformation on the first enemy of the day."

"…asshole Patron God?"

"Yep."

***

Author's Note:

I will admit this now: I think that the way Alice just disappears when Luka isn't looking in the game is boring. So, I decided to take it upon myself to make every disappearance she makes from now on unique, and I want YOUR help! I want references and memes from Anime, Movies, and anything else you can think of that would be funny. It doesn't even matter if it's something that wouldn't fit in the MGQ world, like being Beamed Up from Star Trek. I WILL USE IT! But I will only use each one once.

Ones I've already used: Fading from existence, and sinking into darkness. Everything else is free game.

Also, how did you scrubs like the fight in base form? Still seeming like a steamroll, but he had to use his brain to work around the inability to touch her.

Next chapter will be the journey to the center of the – I mean…the journey to the sea floor!

On another note, anybody got some art suggestions for the cover art of this story? At this point, I'm finding that the one I'm currently using is less and less fitting by the chapter. Comment on this paragraph with a photo!

Comment what you like, leave memes, and correct my grammar if you find mistakes!