1 1. Moving On

"I just can't handle you anymore. You're too needy Ryan." mommy said as she ran her fingers through her hair stressfully. She looked so different. Nothing was actually different about her though...I don't know. It's hard for me to explain.

Tears welled up in my auburn eyes. "B-but momm-" I started to speak.

She cuts me off. "Don't call me that anymore! I'm not your mommy! I want you out of my house by tomorrow night!" she snaps at me. I was used to her yelling out of annoyance but, this? This was different. She wasn't going to kiss me and apologize for it later.

I let out a whimper as I go to my room and start to pack my bags slowly. She didn't have to wait until tomorrow. I didn't know how but, I would be leaving now.

It hurt so bad being told I was too needy. The same thing she had told me she found so adorable and cute about me was the reason she was going to kick me out of her house. She had lied to me for so many years. I wondered is that really the reason she wants me gone or did she have another little?

It wasn't my place to ask questions like that anymore.

I pack up all my favorite things without saying goodbye. I left everything she had given me there. It wasn't mine anymore. I only had my paci, my panda stuffie named Bubba, and a few outfits that my sister and mother had given me for Christmas..

I don't remember the rest of that night well. I was told by my sister that I was asleep on a bench, using my suitcase as a pillow. She was planning on going to the house to surprise me when she saw me. I don't know what would've happened if she didn't.

...

That was over 2 months ago. I still couldn't get over it. I stayed out of headspace. It felt wrong to be little now and days, I don't know why though. I didn't eat much. Only when my sister begged me to eat. I had lost a lot of weight. I knew it wasn't healthy but, I couldn't do anything about it.

Was this heart break? It certainly felt like it. Everything was broken mentally.

That was until the day, she walked in.