1 Chapter 1- Prince of Mankind

The cause of my death is not important to this story. Nor is the date or time. Or even my name or backstory. None matter to this story.

No. What is important is what happened after my unfortunate demise.

Reincarnation was something I never believed in. I was born in a relatively religious household where not praying to (in my opinion) a nonexistent God equaled a beating and a screaming of a banshee who I affectionately call 'Mother'.

No, what I believed in, no matter how terrible it is, how dystopian my thought process was, was that when we eventually withered away all that would greet us is darkness.

And that was exactly what greeted me when I met my fortunate demise.

Fortunate because I would never have to hear the abusive sound my mother calls a voice. Nor would I have to slave anymore to a society that does give a flying shit about me.

I was, funnily enough, more free in death than when I lived.

"Why are you so emo in your internal monologue?" An amused voice majestically sounded out in the eternal darkness.

I wasn't afraid, I expected this to occur like Stan Lee once said. "I don't fear death. I'm curious. I can't imagine what it could be like because I personally feel when you die, that's the end. It's the machine that the engine is off, but how can there be nothing forever? You know what I mean? I can't believe it."

"Great man you just quoted it, poor man was abused by his relatives during his late life, he rests now with 72 virgins up in heaven. " The voice sounded out again, this time with traces of respect and dare I say it awe, admiration?

"Happy to hear that, now discombobulated godlike voice. What now?" I have no idea how I spoke, I do not possess a body or even a soul? Or at least I do not think I possess a soul, I am literally blind.

"I really like you, humans, when you are not panicking to kingdom come, I would explain what is about to happen, but I know you already realize what's about to occur. You my kind sir are in the process of reincarnating into another world. "

See mum? Fanfiction and Webnvoels do come in handy you bitch.

"Before we proceed with this, I have a question. Does God exist?" Ah, the big question. The question that basically drives the majority of humanity into being good is to earn their way into heaven. And the question that drove me into insanity with my overly religious zealot of a mother as…well..a mother.

"He does, and so does Shiva, Zeus, Odin, and a million other gods. The reason you are even here was because you don't believe in any of them, and well…because you interest me enough for me to save you from soul destruction." The voice said blandly like it was talking about the weather.

I am smart enough to guess the reason for the soul destruction after death shtick. I don't believe in any gods, thus no afterlife, which in turn would chuck my soul into oblivion.

Can't say I am happy that my witch of a mother was right tho. If she makes it to heaven I call bullshit.

"I dodged a bullet by not believing in any Mesopotamian or Shinto God. Their afterlives scare the shit out of me." I shuddered.

"Heh, that you did my friend. Anyways this is where we part ways, honestly, the only reason I came here was just to say hi and goodbye. Good luck on your next great adventure, hopefully, this one isn't as bad as your last one"

Que black hole appearing out of nowhere and sucking me in.

Suddenly a click sounded, a sound that I would associate with someone snapping their fingers just amplified to a thousand then amplified further into a million. If I had ears, they would have squirted blood like a porn actress who drank a whole supermarket's worth of water.

Fuji water.

"Cheats! Almost forgot to give you cheats! Trust me you're going to need them where you're going. That particular universe is ridiculous, to be honest. Even I would only equal the strongest person there, and I am literally a being existing outside the omniverse, like that one blind idiot god that just refused to wake up no matter how hard I try. I even once turned into a woman stripped and the thing still wouldn't wake up! The audacity. The sheer gall! Why I tell you if the Scarlet Ki-"

I didn't get to hear the rest before I was unanimously thrust into a woman's vagina before all I knew was darkness again.

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9 month later

The next time I was aware of my surrounding was when a woman slapped my buttocks like she was slapping her husband's buttcheeks during a kinky BDSM session.

"Belay your filthy hands off my buttcheeks woman!" Was what I roared gallantly, but all that came out was the cry of a baby.

"He's alive!" Was the cry of the woman after she molested me. Fucking pedophile. I am sure she would like a cupcake if someone asked her.

Joking aside, it would seem like I was not breathing when I came out of my mother's vaginal canal.

After the debacle, and a bunch of testing(this is how I knew I was at least in a modern world), I was placed back into my mother's arms. I couldn't really see anything, and even my hearing was somewhat shot. But I could literally feel the love radiating out of my mother with how careful and gentle she was with me.

"My son, you're beautiful," She said breathless and with love unmatched. I couldn't see her but I knew she had the most beautiful of smiles on her face.

"Your name shall be Elijah, my progeny, you shall have the world."

Hm, her grammar suggests that she is either sophisticated, and educated, or of noble blood. Progeny isn't really used by modern people to describe their offspring right after their birth. Which suggests that maybe I am born into a royal or noble family? Or that my mother is just an English major and is showing her skills because her major is effectively useless in the real world.

Or terrifyingly enough, she might be chunni.

Either way, I didn't get to speculate or make up theories as to the circumstances of my birth because I went to sleep, my infant body too tired. I had one question however in the back of my mind before I welcomed Morpheus.

"Where in the ever living fuck is my father? Is he a deadbeat here too? Did he go get milk and never come back or some shit" I was a tiny bit angry you see.

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Seven years have passed, since the fateful day when I was molested by a nurse. My new life was much different than my old one. For one, the world I have been reborn in. while modern, in that there are cars, high-speed internet, and phones was a world of cultivation.

And not the wuxia kind, but the Xianxia kind. The one where you can become an omniversal being. Where you will find old grannies masquerading as twenty-year-old jade beauties, and where pedophiles reincarnated mc's with cheat exists.

How do I know so you ask? Well for one, my mother is one of those jade beauties, and not just any Jade beauty but the fucking empress of Great Britain. Her name funnily enough is Elizabeth.

Queen Elizabeth is actually immortal here lads. Release the memes.

This, of course, makes me Second Prince Elijah(I have an older brother), son of heavens, first of men, and Stormborn., and Father of Dragons.

Only one of these titles is true. Maybe the two actually if you take my cheats into account.

Speaking of cheats. I don't know if that voice, being? Whatever it was, was thinking when they gave me those frankly broken overpowered cheats.

'Status' I intoned dramatically in my mind.

[ Name: Elijah Blackthrone

Age: Seven

Race: Human

Cultivation Level: 4th Level Of Body Stage

Bloodline: Celestial

Techniques: God-Emperor Of Man Kind, Jade Emperor Heavenly Way, Soul God, Kama Sutra. Fiend God.

Abilities/Powers: Boundless, Heavens Child, Telepathy, Telekinesis.

Laws|Concept Mastery: Lightning( 20% Completion), Water( 15%), Wind(15%), Soul(10%), ]

Thankfully I didn't get saddled with a system that gives quests, I don't want to become a system slave, shit isn't as cool as some authors think it is. No, all my 'system' does is just show my current status/skills/abilities.

Now for the info dump

Boundless literally just makes me boundless. No bottlenecks along my way of cultivation, nothing limiting me from learning any technique or skill, even abilities that require you to be of a certain race, or with bloodline restrictions.

Heavens child gives me the best talent possible. Telepathy and Telekinesis are self-explanatory

God-Emperor of Man-Kind is a cultivation technique specializing in the 'spirit' or simpler, the mind. That's where I got the telepathy and telekinesis from. Later stages will allow me to bend reality to my whim. Though that's frankly far far away from now.

Jade Emperor Heavenly Way, is a cultivation technique specializing in Qi, or energy. Simply put, it makes my energy or Qi the densest, and purest Qi someone could absorb. Which in turn allows me to fight people multiple realms above me. Basic cultivation technique of the mc.

Soul God, I think you could guess, but it's a soul cultivation technique that allows me to conquer my soul and in the later stages make it eternal.

Fiend God is a body cultivation technique that just makes my body ridiculously strong. Again, allowing me to fight people multiple realms above me with just my body. Basic cultivation technique of the mc x2.

Finally, and the best technique in my opinion. Kama Sutra. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Don't even need to explain that lads.

Laws and concepts are just that. Laws and concepts. Lightning is the strongest because of unlimited power.

If you know, you know.

Bloodline? I have no idea what it provides, but it's effectively useless, to be honest.

"Prince Elijah pay attention!" The voice of the devil himself sounded out. A face only a mother could love, actually scratch that. A face only an alien could love, a body of an ugly bastard, with the smell to match stood in front of me. His face was purple, his palms were sweaty, (copyright can't say the rest of the lyrics) and behind him was a whiteboard full of writing.

Ah, right now I was sitting for my first class of the day, the lesson was just about basic stuff I already knew, but the average seven-year-old wouldn't. It was just a lesson about basic stuff like how big the planet is, the various kingdoms, and countries etc.

'How are you so ugly bro? This is a cultivation world mate, there are pills to offset that, hell there are plastic doctors that can help you. Is this a personal choice? Do you NTR people on the daily or some shit?'

"I was paying attention Mr.Bast'ard. The Earth is 900 million mi, the three superpowers of Earth are the United Kingdom, The United States, and China, there are 10 mortal realms, each having nine minor stages." I sounded out tried mentally from the lesson.

Mr. Bas'ard turned a shade of blue, then red, then back to purple before continuing the lesson without any comment further. I heard snickering next to me and behind me as the rest of the Nobel kids giggled like the children they are.

I shuddered as saw a couple of girls blush and giggle to each other as they gazed at my figure.

'Oh God above save me, I am not a pedophile. ' And suddenly I turned religious.