1 Missed Love

It is my 40th Birthday and what do I have to show. I am Happy that I got married to a lovable husband and have two kids. My life wasn't easy but my life took this course and I just went with the flow. I have come to the conclusion that I have made the right decision or is it how it should be. Let me tell you my story: Isabelle's story of a missed love.

I have a dysfunctional family my parents left me with my grandma at age 4 and it was exactly like Hope Floats the movie except it was my dad, mom and my sister that is 18 month older than me, who left me.

Back then all I new was separation. I didn't know why it was happening. A few years passed by and I was feeling at home with my grandma and I even called her mom. She would buy me all sorts of stuff and we had a maid but I was a picky eater. Poor maids didn't like me. Eggs had to be over easy and if they weren't, I wouldn't eat it. I remember getting in a lot of trouble.

Looking back at my past it makes me realized why I am, the way I am. Did it give me trust issues too. I think so, now.

There was also the day, that I was going from kindergarten to normal school and I had to take a different school bus. I went inside the bus and I didn't know anybody and all of a sudden the driver spanked me really hard on my bum.

My grandma went after that lady, shouting and even showed her the mark on my bum, when she found out. How embarrassing.

My sister, all of a sudden showed up and stayed with me and my grandma and we didn't get along at all. We had so many fights and she didn't like me at all. She threw everything at me.

I was thinner and shorter than her but grew up for a few years like we were the only child and she would always say that my dad and my grandma loved me more and spoiled me more.

Now I know that she didn't have a great life either, she lived with my parents. My mom would stay at home and my dad would work all the time. They were always fighting and starting a divorce.

Around my fifth birthday, my sister showed up and I saw my dad more often. I saw my mom but she decided to leave us with my grandma, while she went to school. Then she met a guy and decided to open a store in another country and leave me and my sister with my grandma. I would see my dad more often and I would jump in his arms and would be so happy he was there.

A year or 2 years passed by and we didn't hear back from my mom so we lived with my aunt for a bit and I still got to see my dad. Eventually he re-married and we lived together and then he moved to Canada.

After a year, my Stepmom and my sister and me, moved to Canada. We lived with my uncle on my father's side for a few years and there was a lot of parties and gatherings for holidays and events. I had my cousins that became my best friends. I started school but I didn't know much English. I had to take English classes and for a while I was the only one in my class that didn't speak much English and was doing an extra class of English.

I was getting confident in my English but I was a shy girl, since I can remember.

I met so many kids and some spoke Spanish and I was happy to meet them and that's where I met my Missed Love.

Miguel was a Spanish boy with dark skin, dark brown hair and brown eyes. Very athletic with a great smile.

I was Spanish too but I am a rare Spanish girl, my skin is white with hazel green eyes that change colours and brown hair.

You never know when or why someone will be your missed love, until you start to wonder what your life would be like, if you married your crush from school or a fantasy marriage with a celebrity or someone that comes to you in a dream.

My dad was so strict about dating. At first he would make fun of me saying "is that your boyfriend?" and it could be anyone next to me, any guy. Then when I got older my dad kept saying "you can't have a boyfriend, ok?" if I see you with guys you will get punished.

Let me tell you I come from a country that spanking is allowed. Of course I was afraid but also I didn't really have interests and I didn't have any guy friends back then. I played jumping rope with girls and some guys would jump in and make us laugh. My missed love was one of them too but I didn't notice him in that way, back then.

***Thank you for reading and kept reading.***

My new family was settling in a new house. I called my stepmom, "mom" and I had a baby brother. I loved him more than words could say. My sister and I took care of him most of the time while my parents worked.

We had some gatherings and my parents had new friends at every party and what do you know, they were friends with Miguel's parents and my sister went to the same school as Miguel's older sister.

I had him in all my classes until grade 6 and I remember presenting assignments in-front of him. I even danced with him for school mass. A teacher asked for 4 guys to dance with me and 3 other girls for school mass and they lined us up. Me and Miguel were the shortest ones. Hahaha, but after the one time dancing with the guys, the guys bailed out. That was too bad. But I remember him telling me what to do with his patient voice. There was some sparks on my side just holding his hand but I didn't let it show. Very hard to do. That was my stubbornness not letting anyone know how I felt about guys.

I remember my sister telling me that Miguel had an accident with boiling water. We went to see him once and I saw his burnt skin. He seemed embarrassed but smiled. He missed some classes and I forgot about him for awhile.

I remember going trick or treating with Miguel's mom and both our sisters. My dad didn't let us trick or treat but we did. I got dressed up as a gypsy and had make up on. I borrowed the costume and make up from Miguel's sister. I even played video games with Miguel, I had so much fun and I was laughing my honest laugh. There was no shyness. I liked playing games besides him and we seem to get along fine. We had the same Spanish background. Of course I didn't think much of it, just fun.

At some point we locked eyes and my heart skipped a beat when I saw him. I shook it off. That was my signature stubbornness if I said I don't want to do something there was no one who can change my mind. Let's see what happens to me because of that.

In grade 5 my twin best friends that I always played with, jumped rope and spent so much time with, moved far away from me and moved school too.

I became quiet and shy and didn't talk to anybody anymore, sometimes they called me fat and the teasing started. A friend of Miguel's kicked me so hard, so I would say something and I ended up kicking him back. I didn't like hitting somebody but if it hurt, I give it back to them harder. Laura my jealous girl cousin that I didn't get along with started teasing me too. She poked me one day and I hit her many times because I had enough. She said it didn't hurt but I knew it did.

If that wasn't enough my dad started his 2nd divorce and I didn't know. There was fights and court stuff happening. Me and my sister had to stay with my aunt, mother of my jealous cousin, Laura. I didn't get along with her at all, that's when the fight happened.

When my dad picked us up, my stepmom and stepbrother were gone. They moved to Toronto. Again, I was crying for a long time and felt alone.

We went to see them every other day and eventually less and less. My Stepmom and stepbrother moved back near us again. We saw each-other sometimes but I saw my stepmom more and my brother's life was rough.

Miguel 's family moved right beside our house and my sister got invited to parties at Miguel's house and sometimes at our house parties, Miguel's sister was invited. Sometimes it would be other friends of my sister and some guys would invite me on dates. Of course, I said "No".

I guess I was a looker back then. I always had some guy asking me out in a weird way, how did they get my number? I don't know.

On the first day of grade 7, Grayson, blond guy with blue eyes spotted me and told his girl friend to ask me to go to a restaurant. I said "No way". Who would of thought that he would hold a grudge for a long time.

I wasn't much of a talker and couldn't express my feelings back then, I didn't even know what to talk about with anybody unless it was my family and cousins. I know that was wrong of me, now, but you will see where it took me.

During my cousin Laura's 15th birthday this guy asked my guy cousin, to ask me for a date for him and I said no. I am not allowed, my dad would kill me. I was 15 at that party but again my dad would kill me and I was scared to be alone with guys. He sang me a song about my body and I hang up and he kept calling.

I started fitting into my stepmom's clothes perfectly and some dresses I wore back then, were short and tight. I don't know how I got away with that thinking back.

Grade 7 was tough for me, I made one friend and a lot of kids knew I didn't want to talk to anybody especially guys. In Music class I had to seat near to blond Grayson, he wanted to get a reaction from me, so he blew the trumpet right on my ear. Guys were terrible. I had another one poking me with a ruler. Another telling me to hold their hat. Ppleeease, I found that stupid.

I went for a trip to Montreal one day because I never went anywhere and it was scary to leave my family, I even cried on the bus because I didn't think I would be alone. My teachers funded my trip. When I told my dad he was really mad but somehow my teacher changed his mind. I used to do things without knowing what to expect.

Turns out that I had to stay with some girls that welcomed me, because they kind of knew me, we watched a movie and they let me hangout with them. I felt good. I could of been with other girls but I picture them saying "No, I don't like her" because they are popular.

I wasn't expecting guys to be there and of course, Miguel was on that trip with his friends. The Guys tried to seat with me but nope I walked away from the table. Everywhere I sat they would seat next to me. I also had fun at their expense, of course they will never know that, hahaha. There was this activity, kind of musical chairs and the guys started playing dancing games and that was the most fun I had, seeing the guys try to dance with a cute girl. The dancing was so funny. First time I laughed so hard, my honest laugh. We roller skated with 4 wheel skates and it was so much fun. It was like a disco and we skated around a big speaker.

In grade 8, I started talking to a Spanish girl, Sara and I was in ESL with a group of Spanish guys too. I became good friends with her and I played baseball and studied with her. Her family got deported and I recently got to talk to her, after 25 years she is still in my country with 2 kids. Turns out she got a hold of me because she wanted to date a Canadian boy and move back to Canada. I told her I didn't know many guys and we talked a bit but she found a guy in her country after all.