3 Chapter 3 Dating in secret

My dad was Catholic but during his life he believed so much on the spiritual side. He taught me and my sister about it. We went to classes with him. We went on trips with him for this. I wasn't really sure about it but I went with it. I learned about Reincarnation and self-projection in the spiritual world. If you have seen the Lock house or anything to do with your souls floating, yes, he believed in it.

This beliefs really helped me when I was depressed, it was like having time for myself and time for reflection. The soul flying thing came true in my dreams. I really believe, that in the dreamworld and with all my dad's teachings I had a place to be me. I gained a lot of knowledge from my dreams.

I started having this dreams that I met a guy and we went to the carnival and parties and I was comfortable with him. I was dating him in my dreams.

Some things from my dreams started happening in real life and I thought maybe it's a coincidence. I had a dream about my birth mother. I didn't remember how she looked like so in my dream, she didn't have a face.

Somehow I was invited to Miguel's sister's birthday that night but I don't know why my sister didn't come with me. Of course, I stayed with Miguel's sister and other girls. Miguel and his friend Logan the same guy that the girls were asking me "do you think he is cute?" Yeah that one. That's how I found out it was Miguel's friend. We played Limbo and of course. Guys will be guys and tried to look at the girls panties.

When I thought it was over, there was some romantic, slow music on. Miguel asked me to dance and I said "sure". Oh boy, it was surprising and I wasn't ready for this. I just danced and to this day, I remember the song that I danced with him. Being so close to him was like in my dreams. Too bad it had to end. I should of said something but I couldn't. Then Logan asked me to dance and I said "sure". Logan liked caressing my back and it surprised me. It was very ticklish. Dancing with two guys that night. It was very exciting. Nothing else happened, not that I can remember. I forgot things that happened, the next day. I don't know why. I lost contact with Miguel but during one of my family parties, I found out from my cousin he was on Facebook and she had his phone number. I checked his Facebook and it looked he didn't look like he was dating someone, so I told myself if he picks up I will talk to him.

I got all my courage and called him, He said Hi and I said "Hi how are you, Just wanted to say Hi" Miguel remembered me and said Hi Maria how are you, I am at a party with my boys and I am not able to talk to you right now. I will call you later. Ok" He never called me back.

I told my dad once, that guys didn't like me, I am probably fat and ugly. He comforted me and told me to remember, the guy for me will find me.

One of his teachings was pray to the divine mother to find you a good partner, the one that is meant for you, pray every night and you don't need to find him, you will find each other.

A few days later my dad told me that my birth mom wanted to see me and my sister, where she lives.

We took a trip to see her and all this memories came back to me from when I was little. I remember it so well, of course some things have changed but the houses my grandma owned looked almost the same, the trees, the food.I loved that trip, I was 7 when I went to Canada and now I was 17 years old when I went back. There was only one thing that I didn't like. They wanted my sister to loose weight. My mom probably thought we would eventually stay there with her, but I told her we didn't like it there.

My mom Isabelle Sr. was remarried to this guy, Jhonathan. She had 2 boys that were 4 and 7 yrs old, Tony and Charlie. All of my mom's family members were there and we went to see other people too. It was weird and nice to be back there again. My sister knew more Spanish than me, of course. I didn't talk much to people, still.

My mom never mentioned what happened to her, when we didn't see her. My aunts eventually said that she came one day with this guy and had two kids already. My mom was mad at my grandma and aunt for letting us go to Canada with my dad. She eventually burned everything that reminded her of us.

My aunts and grandma told her she had to get married, at least do it for the kids. So she got married.

Eventually I will ask her what happened. Either way, it was a great way to get to know her. It was really hard to say goodbye and we didn't talk to her that much because she knew more Spanish than English but still got in touch once in a while.

My sister started working and she started clubbing and spending a lot of time with this particular friend.

One day she had a fight with my dad and got kicked out of our house. My dad was so mad. She told me later, it was because she had allergies and my dad thought she was using drugs. At least she was able to keep a job and rented a room with a friend.

My sister, Caroline, helped me get my very first job as a a kitchen helper and helped me with my resumes and interviews my whole life. I really love her and appreciate her so much.

Caroline was very smart and outgoing. She worked with my dad in his accounting contracts but her confidence on herself was low. She could of finished her course in accounting but she didn't. She went to see a psychiatrist while she was at school. She had to take happy pills for the rest of her life.

With my sister's help, I started working at Wal-mart with her. It was new to me and I met a lot of nice people there. I started college but my dad chose the subject and it was administration. It was hard for me but I managed.

Caroline met a guy at Wal-mart. His name was Barry, they used to fight a lot and he was one of those guys that talks a lot and makes fun of everything.

On their 1st year anniversary my sister set me up on a blind date with a guy she said "he is just like you". She said "He goes to University, he goes to church every weekend and he is a really nice guy. Also, he has black hair but he is loosing it a bit, short for a guy but taller then you and he is very funny. His name is François."

I was feeling lonely and depressed and I trusted my sister after all. She helped me with everything those days. So yes, I went to this blind date and my dad didn't know about it. I was shy and didn't talk much but he was talking so fast and making jokes, I didn't understand any of his jokes.

All the restaurants were full that night and we walked to 3 other restaurants that were also full. We finally got in to a restaurant but the server looked like she was new because she gave François a green sirop Martini and then a beer with a fly in it and didn't know how to make different bills and how to use the credit machine. Someone from our table taught her. Lol.

My sister excused herself and told me to come with her to the washroom. She actually had to tell me to ask him questions. Lol. "Ask him what he does and laugh at his jokes." She said.

We went back to my sister's place and watched a submarine war movie and I ended up falling asleep. I fell asleep on François's shoulder. What a night. Lol. I went on a date alone with him almost every night, after I worked at Wal-mart. I was exhausted everyday. I told my dad I was visiting my sister.

It was nice that he waited to take my hand but his hand was lightly gracing mine, when we walked side by side. He was so funny and I got comfortable with him really quickly. We went to our official date alone, the next day and we felt a connection. We were both optimistic and sometimes were misunderstood because we think differently. I had to go home so he walked with me to the bus stop. He started touching my hair, hugging me and looking into my eyes and I was wondering why he was doing that. I just told him "just do it" and we kissed for a while. It was passionate and it felt right then my bus came. We called each other and went to restaurants and places together. Getting to know him was easy, we knew we were both old fashioned daters, stubborn in our own way and our beliefs were so strong that we knew, what kind of people we wanted as partners.

I did the mistake of telling one of my cousins that I was dating a guy because my aunt started asking my dad if I was dating already. She said " I saw her walking with someone and holding hands".

My dad pretended he knew About me dating and then asked me if I was dating someone. I told him "yes". I could tell he was mad but he knows I wanted to be honest with him. My dad made him come to my house and pick me up if he wanted to date me. Then my dad told him that I couldn't date until I finished my college program. François had to leave but told me "Your dad just asked me not to date you until you finish college but I will see you again tomorrow" and he left.

I got into a huge fight with my dad and we didn't talk to each other for a while. I saw Francois everyday after school. My dad started dating another lady and eventually moved into our 1 bedroom apartment with the girlfriend's daughter. It was very crowded. I was barely there so I didn't worry much. My sister eventually made amends with my dad and started talking to each other. We went to restaurants as a big family and my dad paid, I think my dad was happy back then. My sister 's boyfriend Barry and my boyfriend François helped my dad's girlfriend move her to Toronto trying to get in his good side. François asked my dad if I could go with him to see his mom, my dad didn't want me to. François made his mom call my dad and had to actually tell my dad, she was a nun before and she will take care of me. It was a true story not a lie. Imagine if anyone else tried to date me that wasn't a nun before, I could never date ever. lol

So finally, I was allowed to visit His mom, Elisabet. François had 2 sisters that lived with his mom in Ottawa and a dad in Timmins. I got to see Ottawa for the first time and it was beautiful. We went sight seeing and went to the beach with his sister Claude and saw Anne for a bit but she had to work. His mom liked taking pictures and she was testing my French and I just went with it.

When we got back from the trip François was very frustrated and I didn't know why. He wanted me to take some French classes because it was important to him to know his kids will speak French. I told him I was busy with school and work but he kept insisting.