Ch 54 - Taking My 1st and 2nd Pt. 5

~A/N: Btw, I uploaded the lyrics of "Remember When I Loved You" at the auxilliary chapters. Please check it out, squarey bois!~

"Eh...? They're already gone...?" Temma pouted and closed his eyes while leaning his whole body on the table with his arms trying to reach me at the other end.

"Well, it's your fault for staying up through the whole night and not taking good care of your sleep." I said, stacking his hands on top of each other, then mine afterwards. Just me playing around.

"But I wanted to give them one more hug though...!~" Temma whined.

"Eh, whatever. You'll get to see them another time, man." I deadpanned.

"Don't you at least miss them or something?"

"Of course I do, but...you know. We can't make time for everybody all the time."

The HoloID were sitting beside me and Temma, Reine and Moona being at my side, with Anya and Ollie at Temma's side, but we just made our own personal spaces in the kitchen.

"Ohayou...!" Matsuri said at the stairs.

"Ohayou!" Everybody said.

"Yo." I said last.

"Wait...Reo-kun and Nagi-chan have left already?" Matsuri scratched her head.

"Yeah." We all said.

Thinking of Nagi and Matsuri...it still sort of gives me chills and a bit of curiosity as to what Matsuri could've done to Nagi. Although I should give it a rest and trust her more, it's just...I wanna make sure Matsuri can really be trusted. I'm sure she's not like that...maybe.

"Say, Matsuri."

"Hmm? Shiro-kun?"

"While I was gone, you didn't do anything to Nagi while I was away, right?"

Me and Matsuri just stared at each other, anticipating some sort of reaction. I was expecting a reply, and she was expecting a reaction after the said reply.

"...Hehe.~" Matsuri let out after a while.

"...RRRRNGGGGHHHH...!!!" She whined and whimpered when I went to her and grabbed both of her cheeks and pulled it away from each other.

"The fuck you mean by 'Hehe.~'? Oi." I deadpanned.

"I'M SORRY...! I WAS JUST PLAYING AROUND WITH YOU!" She sobbed.

"Then answer me, 'cause I get rather protective easily. You didn't do anything to Nagi, did you?"

"I DIDN'T! I DIDN'T...!!"

"...Phew." I said, relaxing my hands and giving her cheeks a rest.

"Thank you. If you really did anything to them while I was away that morning, you would've faced my wrath."

"I know, I know...also, could you please stop playing with my cheeks?"

"No. Let me savor this feeling." I deadpanned.

Gotta admit, Matsuri's got some soft ass cheeks. It's not too big, but it's very fluffy and my fingers sink in, plus her skin is baby smooth.

~A/N: Soft ass cheeks, not soft asscheeks, okay?...Though, Matsuri might be fine with both. HUEHUEHUE~

I did expect resistance though...but instead, I just stood there for 10 more seconds, and she just pouts, puffing her cheeks up, making her cheeks even squishier. I would be lying if I said this wasn't cute.

"Alright, I guess I had enough fun for this morning. I need to review my songs."

"Eh? Review your songs?"

"My next album is practically done, but I need to make sure it's perfect...I'm sure some tweaking can be done. Besides, it's not bad to listen to it a good 10 times. Oh, and a song is actually supposed to be released this 8 AM too."

"Ah, that reminds me. Shiro, your next song seems a bit...funny, if I'm being honest." Moona said and laughed.

"How so?" I chuckled.

"You don't seem to be the romantic guy, yet you made…the title like those emo songs from before. Like back in 2005." Moona laughed more while covering her mouth.

Ouch. Well, can't say I blame her. I did have that thought too at the back of my mind.

"Ah...well, you can sort of guess the theme of the next album from just that."

"What is...the theme of it, by the way? You know, just to know what to expect from it."

"You'll see. It's just about 2 hours from now, anyway. I've got some work to take care of right now-...oh?"

I looked back to see my hand was taken by Matsuri, and then she pouted again and put it on her cheeks.

"Do it more. I kinda like it, actually."

I blinked twice and blushed a bit. This was a surprise. I just did this 'cause I liked bullying Matsuri, but man, it seems she lowkey became an M from what I did.

I looked back at the ID to see Reine looking at us, but her face looked rather a bit...confused. Like she was mad, sad, or laughing? Can't really tell, but she was definitely focusing on us intensely, just like the bird she is.

"Too bad, I have to work on my album, Matsuri. That, and a couple other stuff." I said, letting go and going to my room with a sigh.

"Ehh...?" She let out before I finally got inside my room and went to my desk.

"Okay...let's give this whole album a listen." I said.

I gave a listen to 'Remember When I Loved You'. Around the middle of the 1st verse, I kept replaying a certain part, since it sounded a bit weird, unlike those times I listened to it.

"...Wait, the fuck? Something ain't sounding right…" I said.

I replayed that certain part about a good 30-40 times...and instantly, adrenaline and realization struck me like a truck.

My heart was beating fast, looking at the time, and seeing that I had about 1 hour and 40 minutes left before the release of the song.

'...Shit. The "Shiro, I thought you were a good person" line is not good enough if I did it in my voice. I'm not like Kendrick where I could make a certain voice...The only voice that can be good for this is Rushia's, but she can't speak English good enough, no offense...Coco's voice is too squeaky, and the only ones who can speak English other than the JPs are the EN, ID, and a few CN, but none of their voices have a soft touch to it…not to mention, if I involve the CN, it'll spark drama and controversy.'

Palms are sweaty, heart is beating fast, and my mind is thinking of a hundred things at once, desperately grasping the best solution possible.

'Who can I call, who can I call...? Otherwise, I'd have to postpone the music video to a later date...!'

"...Hoh...Holy shit, it's not 7 yet, right...? It's 6:20...I know who to call. Shiina!" I said, going to LINE and giving her an audio call.

"Oh man...I hope she's up right now...hopefully I'm not disturbing her too...Ah, Shiina?" I asked through the phone.

"Oh? Morning, Shiro-niichan...I was eating breakfast and just woke up a while ago. Is there anything you need? You just called me out of nowhere…"

"S-Sorry. But uh...mind meeting me at the Holohouse? I wanted to ask a favor. Very sorry to disturb you about it…" I scratched my head.

"Ah, don't mind it! What's the problem? I'll come right over this instant!"

"Ah, thank you very much! I just want you to record a one liner for my upcoming song! I tried using my voice, but it just doesn't hit as good, and you're the only one who I can call that can do it as best as it can be!"

"Oh, 'Remember When I Loved You'? I see, I see. I'll be hanging up right now and talk with you instead when I come to the Holohouse!"

"Really? I'll be waiting outside. Thank you very much!"

And so, we both hung up our phones, and I waited outside, waiting for a girl with white and black hair to show up.

I saw a girl running towards me, waving, and I waved back and got off the wall to wait at the entranceway.

"Hey, Shiro-niichan!" She said.

"Hey, Shiina. Come inside please." I said, grabbing her hand.

A couple Hololivers were looking at us, and I will admit, I was a bit embarrassed, but hey, I really need this song to work. And I can't afford to give it even 99% effort.

I went into the room, along with Shiina, and I plugged in the speaker to let her hear the certain part I was worrying about. She sat beside me to my right.

"I want you...to say this."

"...That's good enough for me. Why me, though?"

"Well...your voice suits it, plus...you qualify for both speaking in English and having a soft voice. The rest just don't really fit it." I deadpanned.

"I-I see…" She sweat dropped.

I recorded her voice in FL Studio, replayed the voice a couple times while adding effects, and listened to the whole song by myself to make sure I didn't have to do anything else.

"...Oh wow...that was just it...Hah, thank you so much for that, Shiina. I can now edit the video and change it."

"You're welcome!"

"Soon enough, hopefully I can repay you the favor. This gave me a mini heartattack." I giggled nervously and scratched my cheek.

"...Actually...you can repay me the favor right now." She said, smiling and playing with her hands.

"Oh?"

"...Before I go back and get ready for school, give me a hug and a kiss to the forehead.~"

"Ah-" I jumped a bit.

"Well...you can always do this soon enough or so, but...you know, the sooner the better…" She blushed and looked away.

"...Oh. Ah-" Shiina got cut off when I hugged her from behind and turned her to my direction.

"...Let's stand up so it's easier for me…" I said.

"O-Okay…"

And so we did, and she just kept her hands on my chest while I kept hugging her. Her hair smelled very good, like a mix of sweet roses and lavender. I could almost smell how silky her hair was and how smooth her skin is from just that. If it wasn't for knowing she was my sister, I would've gone feral...not like I would actually do it though, regardless who it is.

"T-This is embarrassing, so I'll just do this quick." I said, letting go a bit, and ducking to give her a kiss on the forehead.

"Oh? Hehe.~" She giggled.

I looked back to see her smile with her eyes softening up. I bet she's looking at my face and thinking "Wow...Shiro-niichan looks so cute, all flustered and embarrassed."

"You look all flustered, Shiro-niichan. Was it too much to pay back?" She asked.

"N-No. It's just...you're my sister, okay? It's a bit weird doing this to family, especially how I only grew up with a mother..."

"Well...you got a point...but hey."

"Oh?"

Before I knew it, she just went on her toes and gave me a kiss on the cheeks. I widened my eyes afterwards and looked at her.

"Hehe.~ Well, I'll be late if I stay any longer, Shiro-oniichan. See you soon!~" She said.

"W-Wait-..."

She already went out of my room and I bet she already got out of the building.

I peeked outside to see Shiina running off into the distance, and looked at the Hololivers staring at me.

"Ji…"

It almost felt like they were stares of judgment. Like they thought I did "something" to Shiina, which was technically not wrong...but I just blushed in defeat and said "I was the victim…", before slowly going back to my room.

"Hah...but now I gotta edit the whole thing again and change the audio...welp, not like it's a hard process, anyway. Just gotta open Adobe Premiere and just do some bullshit."

And so, once I did, I finally released the song, and the views went from surprisingly a small number, which was 5k, to instantly a whopping 21k views.

The music was merely just 3 pictures edited seamlessly, with additional effects to make it more better. One picture is me with two girls laying beside me in my arms. The second picture is the girl on my right arm disappearing with the girl on my left arm still there. The final picture was just me, alone. Laying on the grass as I look up to the sky with the sun shining on my face.

The girl on my right arm was my 1st girlfriend. Black hair and blue eyes. She looked so innocent and beautiful...Too innocent and beautiful, in fact, that she hated me when I said that I killed people back then.

The girl on my left arm, you can deduce that that was my 2nd girlfriend. Same black hair, but her eyes were hazel. It was kinda cute, since she looks a bit outgoing, but is actually shy. Though...she would start getting assertive when the two of us were alone.

Here was what the live chat was like during the whole stream.

"Bruh-"

"BLONDE SHIRO?! BRUH?!"

"YOOOOOOOOOO"

"Ey, ngl, the music video is nice."

"HE'S GOT TWO GIRLS BESIDE HIM, WUT"

"He edited this vid? No way!"

"The flow and lyrics fit well. Holy shit. You never disappoint, Shiro."

"Ooh, he's talking about how he got his 1st girlfriend, I see."

"...WAIT, HOL UP, THE GIRL AT THE LEFT IS STARTING TO DISAPPEAR, WTF-"

"Ooh, interesting. The middle of the 1st verse started to go into how he broke up with her and now she's starting to disappear, showing how he slowly lost her until they finally cut connections."

"Gotta admit though, Shiro's songs never disappoint. The music video is simple, and so are the lyrics and the song, but they all combine to complete this one great musical piece of art."

"HE'S SINGING. YOOOOOOOOOO"

"Damn, the chorus sounding neato"

"The verse was calm and only pianos, but the chorus came in with drums and all that like a tidal wave, holy shit"

"SECOND VERSE, LET'S GOOOOOOOOO"

"'Shiro…I don't feel so good…' - Probably the girl next to him after going through the 1st half of the 2nd verse"

"Iirc, 'Pearl of the Orient' is what the Philippines was historically called...BRUH, HIS 2ND GF WAS A FILIPINA? GFDSJGHDFSGHSU"

"Gotta admit, this is more of a story than it is a personal experience. Ain't complaining though."

"EY YO-"

"Bruh. The goddamn Netflix and chill-"

"OH GOD, NETFLIX-"

"I mean...don't act like y'all was never that horny when you were a teen."

"Ah yes…the standard 'My parents aren't home' tactic"

"BRUH, "taste" *insert sob emoji*"

"Bruh just literally put the word "horny" there so brazenly-"

"Ooh, the last paragraph matching with the 1st verse. Interesting."

"CHORUS AGAIN, LESGOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"Damnnnnnnnn"

"Ooh, a post-chorus of some sort?"

"It's kinda like that certain saying, 'Don't love a broken person'. Which is true. Loving a broken person will only break that person even more, which is ironic but very true. I can testify, being one myself in the past."

"Oh, and it ends nicely with him at least being thankful for the experiences he's been through but having to reflect upon it to fix himself. Nice!"

"I'm probably biased, but the fact that he doesn't just pin the blame on them but also to himself is what I like about the song, IMO. Of course, they're in the wrong for breaking his heart like that, but he's also at fault for picking based on appearances and giving in to his lust. The parts after the chorus is what really gets me giddy tho."

And that would be the end of the song. At 9 AM, one hour after, I started the song release party and talk stream.

"Shiro on the mic, Shiro on the beat, Shiro with the heat, everybody, thanks for coming to my stream! Yeah, and you know I got the heat, bro. What's my name? Ishijin Shiro!" I clapped.

"SONG RELEASE PARTY AND TALK STREAM!" I said, slamming my table then proceeding to snicker afterwards.

"I'm a bit enthusiastic right now actually, 'cause I was happy with how everybody actually got this trending on Twitter and got this to #3 trending on Youtube Music, especially when I saw the comments and the chat, and people were giving their own experiences. It seems we all went through the lover boy phase, huh?" I giggled.

"Anyway...let's uh...chill and talk, huh?" I said as I looked at the chat and scrolled for more comments in the original song.

"Oh yeah...I actually wanna...tell y'all something funny about the song when I was making it…"

"So, you know how it was gonna release at 8 AM, right? I was just about to postpone it, 'cause...the part where it goes 'Shiro, I thought you were a good person'...? I did it with my voice originally...but it didn't fit, and I just realized it about 2 hours prior to the release." I snickered.

"So my mind was racing, thinking about how to fix it. The only voice that could fit it, really, is Rushia, but she can't pronounce English good enough. Not saying she's really bad at English, but...she's like any other Japanese that would pronounce English, so it wouldn't work."

"Then uh...I actually told my younger sister to record it, and then I just inserted her voice into the song, and I reuploaded the video. Yes, I have a younger sister. Actually, I wanna give a short brief about my sister. She's actually my distant biological sister. And get this...her father is actually my sensei." I chuckled.

"So, this is how it is...me and my sister took our DNA tests a long time ago by our own parents, hers being my sensei and my sensei's wife, and me being my mom, and they found out me and my sister are actually biologically related...yeah, my sister is adopted, like me, and yes, that also means I'm adopted too, okay? I only grew up with a mom." I chuckled again.

"Though, I don't really mind much. Yagoo and my sensei were my father figures growing up, so I was able to have some guidance. But yeah...me and my sister were distant. I actually never knew her until about a few weeks ago, so it was very recent. We're getting along fine though. She's about...a year younger than me, so I'm the onii-chan in the relationship."

"...PPFT-'IS SHE SINGLE?' Bruh, I love you, Privates, okay? But I'm not afraid to kill some sons of bitches if any of you go near her. Not like I'm being protective, but more like...I just don't want any thirsty boi for my sister. But hey…if you've got a chance, you got a chance. Maybe you can catch her interest?"

"So anyway...let's uh...go a bit introspective and maybe talk about the song, yeah? We got some good superchats here asking some questions."

And so, I answered most questions, but the most important question was the following:

"'How did you meet your girlfriends?' Well, my 1st girlfriend, I met her at a park. I talked about this before, but I'll say it again. I used to roam around my hometown a lot, since I needed to train in navigation, as well as just familiarize the city and all. Then I met this girl near a tree who was all alone, watching something on her phone. We then got to know each other after that and decided to go on a date the next day, which you can already guess what happened if you listened to the 1st verse of the song."

"As for the 2nd girlfriend, I met her at a convenience store, actually. It was a funny experience. You see, I went there to buy bread, coffee, and some deodorant, then there was this shy girl who was panicking and was trying to find some money inside her wallet to pay the remaining amount. I thought it was very cute of her." I giggled.

"But uh...yeah, in the end, she almost resorted to a card, but I decided to lend the remaining cash to the cashier, and...we talked for a bit outside afterwards. She didn't want it, but I was just too kind and decided to help a person out. After that, she kindly took me around the city and introduced me to a few shops and her home as well. That's how we got to know each other. So long story short, 1st girlfriend at the park, 2nd girlfriend at the convenience store."

"Now, I already have moved on, but I do remember the pain I went through in the past. Though, would I say I resent them? No. I said in the song already that I'm actually thankful to them too, even though I was heartbroken. You know...when you're a teen, your hormones are raging, you're learning stuff, growing up, discovering things you never knew, hate stuff you like, like stuff you hate, and all these crazy things happening. It's a very essential part of what makes you the person you are now."

"I do...sort of miss them, but would I want to get back with either one of them? No. I hope they're doing well, but I still wanna make sure my next relationship will start off good, and one where I know I can handle the responsibility and pain of. We're all human, you know? We can't make everything positive, but at least we can learn and prevent a mistake from ever happening again. That's why I'm thankful to my past girlfriends."

I answered more questions, some were trivial, some were important, and the stream finally ended after my closing message.

"I enjoyed this stream, Privates. You know...my trust issues obviously didn't start there. I said that it was caused by the woman I trusted the most that made me wear a mask, like now, but...my girlfriends really let me reflect on the perspectives of love, lust, and how one gender bounces off of another. Now, like I said, I won't say that I'm completely back to normal, but...I'd say I've moved on and really took into account the lessons I've learned from back then."

"I hope you all would keep listening to my future music, thank you for coming to the stream, and I hope you all can get 'Remember When I Loved You' to 1 million views!" I giggled and clapped.

"Shiro on the mic, Shiro on the beat, Shiro with the heat, everybody, thanks for coming to my stream! Yeah, and you know I got the big dreams. Privates, I'mma see you all in the next stream!"

Then the stream ended and I breathed out with a smile.

"Huh...well, I guess I better get to listening to the whole album again and see what needs improvement. Though, maybe I'll take a short break and talk to the boys or something. I'll also get a glass of water." I said as I went to get a glass of water and went out of my room.

"...Oh, they're here. Yo." I said.

"Oh? Yo!"

It was Aruran, Oga, Suzaku, Kaoru, Kira, and Miyabi in the kitchen.

"What's up?" I said, taking a seat.

"Nothing much. We were just chilling and talking about stuff. Oh yeah, you just released a new song, right? Congratulations!" Kaoru clapped.

"I really liked the song!" Aruran said.

"Really? Thinking back to it, it might've sounded a bit too...emo or so." I scratched my head.

"Well...I can see what you mean, but personally, I think it does well in telling your experience about that."

"Well, at least you had girlfriends. We never had one." Miyabi pouted and rested on his hand.

"There's a reason why people talk about not getting a girlfriend, as well as talking about their heartbreaks." I sweat dropped and giggled nervously.

"Well, I feel like watching some news, so let's get the remote at the lounge and turn it on." I said, getting out of my seat and turning on the TV when I got the remote and went back to the kitchen table.

"...There has been a horrible incident that happened since midnight of April 5. There has been a woman that seems to be in her 40s that was molested and raped. She was found near the countryside at Okayama. In the shown picture that we have censored, she was badly abused, and medical experts have rushed to her rescue." The news anchor said.

"Hoh...oh no…" Miyabi looked at the TV.

"Jeez, all this news about sexual abuse...what's up with society nowadays...?" Astel said.

"The woman also seems to be pregnant. Her belly looks rather big, and as we speak, she's been taken into care and admitted to the hospital." The news anchor continued.

Then the picture of the woman was shown on TV. There were no censors, so her raw facial features were shown...

I don't know how the others reacted, but...that white hair...those red eyes...those contours, those eyebrows, that expression of hers...I trembled, both in fear and anger. I didn't know what to feel, but I just wanted to both look away and keep looking at it. It was such a beautiful picture that I wish was burned in a pit of fire.

"...Say, don't you think that woman looks like you-...Shiro...kun...?" Aruran said.

"...No...that couldn't be…" I said to myself in English.

That can't be...I mean, I can see some of myself in her, but...no, that's not somebody I'm biologically related to, is it...? Nah...But she's old...40s, right? ...I swear to god, if she's my mom-...Nah, what's the point of fussing over that, anyway? It's not like I care about the ones who abandoned me. I got people, family and friends, who care about me. That's what I should focus on.

"Shiro-kun, is something wrong?" Kaoru asked.

"Nah...I just thought she was familiar." I chuckled silently.

"Though...poor her, am I right? I mean...she was pregnant, then she got raped...what do you think the husband of that woman would feel, right?" Astel said.

"Yeah…" I said.

Should I feel bad, or should I not...? I don't know, but like...even if she was, what happened was horrible…Ah, I'm not in the mood to be angry. I've got an album to listen to later. Just forget it.

"Well, I better go play some Minecraft. We do have to prepare for the introduction of Shiro-kun to the server." Astel said.

"Oh? A surprise, huh?" I asked.

"Yeah. I'm mostly working on the building, but a few others help out too." Astel giggled.

"That reminds me, I also gotta work on it too." Aruran laughed and stood up while stretching.

"See you guys later. The senpais gotta do their work!" Aruran said.

"Oh, and do look forward to the welcoming, since we're gonna have sooo much fun.~" Astel snickered while holding my shoulders.

"Heh. I'm looking forward to it." I smirked and chuckled as Astel went back to his room, along with Aruran.

"Say, I was wondering about this for a long time, Shiro-kun, but…" Roberu said.

"Hmm?"

"You only grew up with a mom, and your father figure was Yagoo and your sensei, right?"

"Yeah?"

"What did your mom work as?"

"A General of the Japan Ground Self-Defense Forces. A Bakuryouchou-Taru-Rikushou (Chief of Staff, General)"

"Ooh. Your mom's the real deal, huh?"

"Yeah. Though, I wanted to be a soldier just to save lives and do something good for my country. That, and 'cause I used to look up to my mom...a lot..."

"Though, it's still amazing how you became a soldier at such a young age. I don't know if they made you an exception or not, but to actually become one is just beyond me. You must've went through very strict training, huh...?"

"Sorta…" I chuckled.

"Ah...the memories...Well, I gotta listen to my songs for a while. I need to check up on my album and see what needs improvement. See ya later." I stood up.

"Oh? See ya!" Roberu said.

"Do your best, Shiro-kun!" The others said.

I nodded and chuckled.

'"Strict training", huh...? Yeah...I remember mom saying that because she really cared about my goals and dreams, and was especially worried 'cause being a soldier means I could possibly die, but I was able to become one in the end...I wonder how my mom and the others are doing?' I thought.

~~Adrik's POV~~

"Hragh! HRAGH! HRAGH!!!" Zelt came in with kicks to both sides of my head, which I blocked with my forearms, and then did one more kick to my body.

"GRR…!" I tried to block it with my forearms again, but the impact was very strong, it sent me flying backwards. I kept leaning forward to make sure I didn't fall, but had I not blocked, I would've passed out.

"D-Dad!" He said.

"It's okay!" I replied.

Zelt stopped dead on his tracks and went back to stance.

"...Hehe. I think we're done with sparring for tonight."

"Eh...? Really?"

"Yeah...your kick was strong, some air got knocked out of me...if I was just your average Joe, I would've gone unconscious...hehe. I think we've perfected your strength now…"

"..What does that mean, dad...?" Zelt asked as he came closer.

"...It's time for refinement." I smirked.