30 DED?!?
We advanced steadily into the bandit camp, every now and then a badass psycho would pin us down but it wouldn't be fun if there were no hardships eh?
We approach near the start of the catwalks area, claptrap strolls happily through the piles of corpses.
He stops. In despair he collapses.
"M-minions, the stairs....what do we do. AHHHH THERES A LIFT, MINIONS ASCEND ME!"
Claptrap points his arms at a lever 3 stories up.
I am the first to go, being the only one that knows where all the bandits are actually hiding.
As I assumed the first walkway, at the end a little hut hides 3 marauders who run out as soon as I come close, but I was prepared.
I explode 2 heads and desperado style the last mothafucka'.
Gamers stay winning.
I run up the stairs and plant my buzzaxe into a shotgun midgets brain, I slide around the corner matrix style and pop the head off a psycho.
I reload my shotgun and walk slowly towards the porta potty area where a bunch of beefed up and cringepilled bandits rush out.
I take 5 more steps and the doors flip down, 2 nomads walk out and begin unloading towards me, I take cover and wait for the others to catch some bullets with their faces so I dont have to.
A psycho rushes me from the level above and I cream his leg as he drops down, but he stays undeterred, I plant my foot against him and push him off the ledge but not before the nomads come out of cover.
Shit!
I run back but it's too late.
*splish*
Zer0 uncloaks behind a nomad and slices his head off, and Gaiges robot fucks the other one up with superman eye laser beams.
"HA TEAMWORK!"
Axton screams, as he cowers in cover, not doing a damned thing.
We head up and pull the lever.
"YEEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Claptrap comes flying up the lift.
He rolls forward and then falls over.
"No one saw that!"
He picks himself up quickly.
I walk forward to the ammo vender and buy a grenade, I hook it to my belt and pop my knuckles, preparing myself to fight Flint.
In the game his fire phase was obnoxious as shit especially on OP10, if he actually uses it in real life and it's just as bullshit I call hacks, I mean how the fuck does fire deflect godamn bullets? BEATS ME!
Maya clutches the door.
"Ready guys?"
Claptrap rubs his hands together.
"BOY AM I!"
The gate lifts up.
Everyone jumps down and claptrap rolls forward.
"CAPTAIN FLINT YOU PIECE OF SHIT SEMEN LOVING BASTARD, GREEN GOOP GUZZLING PIECE OF SHIT YOUR CLAPTRAP UNIT HAS RETURNED!"
Um, that was a bit different from what he said in the game.
Flint scoffs and pulls up his flamethrower.
"Clappy has quite a mouth, and new friends. That blue haired girl looks nice, might keep her as a personal doll. HAHAHA CLAPPY AND A NEW DOLL!"
Maya pukes in her hand a little bit, Krieg pushes her back and rage fills his eyes.
"YOU MAGGOT FILLED WARM BROTHEL, THE SLAYING COMES FROM MOMMIES BERTH!"
He raises his buzzaxe and charges.
"I think we should start shooting!"
Axton throws his turret down.
"Hahah, Clappy! A psycho, that's your plan!"
Man, Flint doesn't know does he, he really has no idea.
Flint jumps down.
"TURN UP THE HEAT!"
30 bandits rush out from his quarters, bullets begin whizzing in a hailstorm
I take cover and open fire on them with my revolver, fanning it wildly at the unassuming bastards.
We begin pushing Flints forces back quite easily.
Have you ever seen a midget with 2 spinnerguns cremate a man while he was still alive? well I have now.
"LETS TURN UP THE HEAT!"
Flame jets shoot all around us, this is what I feared.
Flints body takes on a mass amount of flames and his eyes glow a bright red, he let's out a nearly scream and charges.
Bullets plow into the captain's body but hardly do anything to stop him.
Until a barreling psycho charges him and jumps ontop of him.
Krieg grips Flints neck while being burned violently.
*snap*
And just like that the captains head is backwards.
"MINIONS WE WON!"
Claptrap strolls up to Flints corpse and kicks it.
A small orange bandit pistol rolls out of his overcoat.
Claptrap leans over and picks it up.
"HAAH MY TROPHY!!!"
"AHEM, MINIONS LETS GET TO MY SHIP YE SALTY DOGS!"
Claptrap rolls away towards the gate at the back of the ship that leads to the captain's quarters.
He dials a code in and the gate lifts revealing a juicy red chest.
I approach it and open up, awaiting my goodies.
..
Bruh.
A rusty SMG and a pistol.
Damn low level borderlands loot is dog water.
Maya comes forward and gobbles the loot up.
"SCORE!"
She quickly stores the new SMG and pistol.. somewhere.
Claptrap opens a door down a hallway and the sounds of rushing waves pierce the room.
"LOWER MY SHIP MINIONS!"
Claptrap perches on the bow of his tiny wooden ship.
Axton and Sal pull the ropes off, the boat plops into the water.
Everyone enters and Claptrap starts the engine and we set off towards sanctuary.
"Its gonna be about 4 hours chums so rest up before we get to SANCTUARY!"
I lean back and reload my weapons.
I turn the lenses on my bandit mask off and snooze.
...
"MINIONS HEAD TO SANCTUARY! I WILL PREPARE MY RETURN SPEECH!"
Not even a second of shut eye and claptrap is screaming again.
The boat rocks as it crashes against a glacier.
Claptrap slaps a button and a small set of wooden ramps slump off the boat and onto the ice fields.
We make our way off and head inland. The group stops after murdering some bullymongs and stands in silence for a moment.
Angel must be telling them how to hack the catch a ride system right now.
The nearby bandit camp has a dead hyperion loader wich Angel can use to hack Scooters catch a ride and get us some cars.
____
"Vault hunters.. That mercenary. Trust nothing he says or does."
Angel's voice reverberates.
____
*ACHOO*
Eh is somebody talking about me.
As we enter the bandit camp I notice some of the vault hunters shooting me strange looks. Eh I could care less If I creep them out that much.
Some nomads rush out and we take care of them swiftly, after finishing off the rest of the psychos I spot the Hyperion loader.
I walk up and tear out the core out of the robot corpse.
*boom*
AH WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!
Blood leaks down my arm.
Have I been betrayed already.
"The hunt has called me."
I turn around and see the vault hunters aiming their guns at a large figure coming out of an invisible cloak.
A hood swishes in the wind.
"You."
Zer0 holds his sword hesitantly.
A robotic voice hauntingly comes out of the huge figure.
"Zer0, the hunt has called me."
"Fl4K."
Zer0 sheathes his sword.
[Objective found]
[Help vault hunters to sanctuary]
[Objective completed]
[Rewards:
Uncommon skill: [Wipe LVL1]
Uncommon item: [Plasma grenade (Halo 3)]
]
Fl4K raises a double barreled shotgun.
"Death calls your name"
*boom*
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME THIS WASNT IN THE GAME, SYSTEM PULL ME OUT OF THE DAMN GAME!
[Processing request]
[Returning player]
[Note: Player character "Psycho" Is hemorrhaging, death imminent in 3-5 minutes. "Psycho" no longer playable.]
I open my eyes and am laying in the bed on my ship.
Phew that was almost as close as dark souls 3.
A small purple orb appears in my lap.
Ah a plasma grenade, this could actually be very useful.
And wipe?
What the fucc is that.
[Wipe LVL 1: You become more efficient at wiping things with cloths.]
ARE U FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!?!?!
YOU GODAMN PIECE OF SHIT SYSTEM FUCKIN CRETIN!?
DO YOU THINK I NEED HELP WIPING MY ASS!?!?
[....]
---
[A/N]
I made a google slides with images of important characters that appear later in the story as well as the 'changed' pictures of some main characters. *cough cough*. Sebastian *cough* doesn't look *cough* like a piece of sandpaper *cough* forever *cough*.
I also started using ai image generation for some side characters so tell me what you think of these.
[Heavy Knight Leofrich ]
[Squire Alfred ]
[Archer Tiberius]
Also season 2 of my bleach fanfic is starting soon.
*ahem*
that's a plug.
--
Chapterly song suggestion:
The silent life - Rivers of nihil.
Does anyone even look at this lol.
