Borgerlands

Title is not a typo if you know you know.

[Kaioken x¼ Lvl 2--->3 ]

[Strong Hit Lvl 5---> 6 ]

[User, via defeating a new tier of trial you have unlocked a new world]

[DARK SOULS 3. Difficulty: EXTREME]☆

[SESAME STREET. Difficulty: Heh]

[DAUNTLESS. Difficulty: IMPOSSIBLE]

[ELDEN RING. Difficulty. EXTREME]

[ONE PUNCH MAN. Difficulty. HARD]☆

[BORDERLANDS 2. Difficultly Medium-hard]

[Hint ☆ = continue button]

Burberglands 2?

OML I'm gonna bust?!?!

SO MANY GUNS.

LIKE BIG ASS GUNS, FUCKING AK'S WITH 18 BARRELS TYPE SHIT.

PISTOLS THAT SHOOT GODAMN ROCKETS.

Select that shit.

[Borderlands 2: Difficulty: Medium-hard]

[Easy: Zero

Reward: none]

[Medium: Brick

Reward: common skill]

[Hard: Crimson Lance

Reward: Uncommon skill]

[Veteran: You

Reward: Uncommon item]

[Extreme: Bandit

Reward: Uncommon skill + item]

I mean how hard is being a bandit?

Oh god. Imagine if I become the poor sop who gets tortured by captain Flint, or some bastard midget strapped to a nomads shield.

I mean.

But a skill and an item?

System could show me what skills and items would transfer if I chose bandit?

[No lol.]

FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF THEREFORE KILLING YOU, SCUMBAG SHITTER!

ahem.

Choose bandit, dying is for pussies and last time I checked I ain't no girl.

I already feel like this is a horrible idea...

[Loading..]

Haha please be merciful on my soul.

[Transferring]

[Skills being enabled]

[Body being reconstructed]

[SKILLS INTEGRATED:

[Quickstep]

[Strong Hit LVL 6]

[Basic Axe skill LVL 5]

[Revolver Novice LVL 3]

[Street fighter LVL 5]

[Basic Karate LVL 3] ]

OMG I GOT SO MANY!

Can't wait to not be floating in space.

HAHAHAHHAHAHA

"IM GOING TO EAT YOUR BABIES!"

Da fuck.

Who said dat.

"THE MEATY MASTER WAKES THE FALLING DOG!"

Oh no.

I open my eyes and a blue blurry visage encompasses my sight.

Many figures dance around me wildly.

""MERRY AROUND THE GOBLIN TREAT, GUTS FOR ME!"

Oh no.

Am I seriously...

A FUCKING PHYSCO!?!??!

I stand up and look around, 10 shirtless men in orange sweatpants surround a crucified effigy.

The effigy is covered in actual human shit and I can't help but gag at the sight of it, the grip on my buzzaxe tightens just looking at the weeping man covered In shit and blood.

"FLESH FOR MY MOTHERS GOAT PECKER!"

A physco runs up and slashes him across the legs, causing him to burst out in agony.

I gotta get the fuck outta here.

Wait.

System wich of my items transferred.

[Choose one item between the following:

Vasto

Umbra dread

Axe of forthcoming]

Obvious my sheepish friends.

Vasto.

The revolver materializes in the back pocket of my sodden pants.

I take it out slowly as to not concern the other psychos.

"BOOMSTICK FOR THE BROTHEL!!??"

A physco screams and points his buzzaxe at me.

ah sheet.

"IMPOSTER MUNGUS, AMINGUS, AMOGUS!?!?"

Wait what did that one say?

I pull the hammer back and fan 3 rounds into 1, dropping him instantly, the others scream out and chase me like, well, like psychos.

I yeet my buzzaxe and take out another.

It's quite easy to hit targets running straight at you, I quickly dispatch the remaining psychos with some well placed shots.

The man strapped to the shit effigy looks at me wearily.

"H-help me out here man!"

I take a look at the cylinder of my revolver before snapping it back into place, only 1 round left, and I see no source of ammo in sight.

"HEY BUDDY WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS!"

Him, oddly familiar.

Oh well, I'm probably just gonna leave this fuck, not worth wasting my time on him when more bandits are coming.

"PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME, PLEASE ILL DO ANYTHING!"

Eh.

I pick up my buzzaxe and crook my head at the man, who is unusually ripped.

Wait, an annoying voice, whiney, ripped.

Omg.

Its fucking Vaughn.

I take my axe and approach him.

"PLEEEEEASSSE DONT KILL ME I HAVENT PAYED OFF MY CREDIT CARD DEBT!"

I take my axe up and he closes his eyes, I slash it across the ropes tying his hands.

"RUN SKIN BOY!"

Hehe, I always wanted to be a psycho.

Vaughn, forgetting about his emaciated body runs to the hills, making his way out of the center of the bandit camp and into the wastes,

"BANDIT LIFEEEEE!!!"

What a fucking crac-

*whoosh*

A bullet whizzed past my head, I turn and see 3 marauders shooting at me, but their accuracy is dogshit just like in the game.

"ANOTHER FUCKING PYSCHO WENT ON A RAMPAGE!"

A marauder calls out while reloading his pistol.

"FLESH BABIES, COME FOR YOUR BIRTH!"

I love being a psycho. I can say whatever I want!

I charge forward with my buzzaxe, zipping and weaving through the rain.

I even use quickstep to dodge a few bullets.

A marauder cries out in fear as I hastily approach.

"DID HE GET INTO THE ERIDIUM!?"

I take my buzzaxe and split a retards head in 2.

He screams out for a second before collapsing.

"YOU WOKE THE WRONG DOG!"

Who dat?

The booming voice sounds out.

One of the marauders looks relieved at the sound of the voice.

"Boss help us out!"

I take my axe and shoulder bash a bandit, bringing him to the ground where I then use strong hit and cave his skull in.

A thundering charge comes my way.

"BOSS!"×3

A massive hulking bandit with piercings all over his chest loads a shotgun and points it at me.

[11 TOES LVL 8

Has 4? balls. ]

A borderlands boss card appears above the man just like in game, it slows time as well, letting me read the description.

I feel like this guys name is familiar, but not quite right. Oh well.

I take my vasto and point it at the bandit leader.

"Little punk, like a dinky piece like that would do any-"

*boom*

*schlop*

The vasto bullet slashes through the air and makes impact on the fuckheads face. The hollow point squishes and bounces in his head, essentially exploding his head. This is what 3 million years in the future gets ya' asshat.

11 toes falls down, blood gushes down his neck hole, where his head was.

The 3 bandit minions raise their pistols shakily, one has puke leaking from the bottom of his mask.

"THE WRONG DOG EATS FATHERS PLUM!"

The three stooges stare at me for a second before promptly looking at each other and rum away.

"IM DONE BEING A BANDIT!"

"IM GOING BACK TO ACCOUNTING!"

Pussies.

I approach 11 toes corpse and begin da famous borderlands looting. A blue beam shoots from under him, I turn him over and a bloody over and under shotgun lies on the groun.

[Rare 11s Boomstick

5% more damage

50% reload speed]

Haha.

Worth to be honest.

I pick up the shotgun and flip it down, 2 beautiful 12 gauge shells greet me

I promptly loot the rest of 4 balls shells into my inventory.

I make my way through some hallways until I reach a large metal door.

I slide it open and immediately crouch down low, 5 bandits walk around a courtyard.

I take aim with boomstick and blast of the head of a nomad.

They all turn to me and begin opening fire.

I run to another cinderblock pile and blast another head off. I reload swiftly. It feels very easy because of the bonus reload speed for the matching jakobs grip.

I take aim and gun down 2 more, taking my buzzaxe and throwing it into a midget to end the encounter.

Extreme difficulty my nuts, I have been in enough firefights to know how to kill some untrained idiots.

I load my shotgun up and retrieve my buzzaxe, but not before curb stomping the mumbling midget.

I reach the main gate and lift a lever to open the door.

In the snowy waste an old bandit technical sits.

I get in and after fiddling for 5 minutes I get the engine to start.

I put the truck into gear and begin driving aimlessly until I find something.

I just realized. System where is my objective?

[Hah]

[Reach the correct point to unlock mission]

ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING BULLSHIT MISSIONS JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO YOU PIECE OF SHIT?!??!?!

[😎]

Really. System can use emojis? Fuckin' prick.

I drive on the icy path until I see a sign, no literally a wooden sign.

[ClaPtraPs' PlAcE 30 miles]

[Hyperion railroad 45 miles]

Fucking kill me, It started me where the actual game started, except not half dead.

Does that mean I will meet Salvador? Oh god.

And Krieg? Oh man. Is system mocking me after I said extreme difficulty was easy?

---

[A/N]

Borderlands time...

Just finished cyberpunk edgerunners

Pretty mint tbh. Almost convinced me to get cyberpunk 2077... almost..

For the waifu I been thinking if I should make it a vote.... Probably not. Tbh I already changed my doc where I have a plot chart like 3 times.

Also Coolio died... Eh..

Saj.

---

Chapterly song suggestion: Here come the tears- Judas Priest.