1 Chapter 1
Randal stood on the porch waiting for the door to be answered. He was here for his weekly meeting with his pastoral leader, Bob. In The Fellowship to which he belonged, everyone had a pastoral leader to look after their spiritual needs. Randal was also a pastoral leader for several men in the organization. In the pecking order Bob was a district leader; Randal was under his direction and worked with men who had been in The Fellowship fewer years than he. These men in turn were the pastoral leaders for their families.
He felt his nervousness increase as he waited. He was always nervous when meeting with Bob. It was not in his nature to talk about his innermost feelings and beliefs, but he had been convinced this was God's way of bringing him to his full potential. Bob was a good man. He seemed to sincerely care about Randal and his spiritual needs. It was just that some of Randal's needs weren't the kind you felt comfortable talking about.
The door finally opened.
“Randal, you know you don't have to ring the bell when you come here. Just come right in."
He'd been greeted by Bob's wife, Sharon. She was dressed as she always was when he came for his meetings: a housedress and apron, hair and make-up perfect and a warm welcoming smile on her face. She reminded him of Mrs. Cleaver from Leave it to Beaver
“Thank you, Sharon, I know that I guess, but…well my momma always taught me…”
“Now don't you go blaming this on that dear sweet mother of yours,” Sharon said as she drew Randal into the house with the customary fellowship greeting of a side arm hug. “How is she by the way?”
“Very well, thanks. The Fellowship’s prayers for her recovery from her hip surgery seem to be working.”
“Praise the Lord,” Sharon replied and raised both hands over her head.
“Yes, praise the Lord,” Randal intoned.
“Bob is just finishing up his meeting with Ralph.”
Ralph was one of the overall leaders of The Fellowship. Randal’s nervousness increased.
“Can I get you some coffee while you wait?” Sharon offered, always the perfect hostess.
Randal politely refused the coffee. He wasn't much interested in seeing Ralph. Ralph had led the team that had prayed for him for exorcism. It was Ralph who had discerned Randal had some deep spiritual disturbance keeping him from full communion with God. After much prayer, sweating and four hours on his knees with three men leaning over him commanding the unclean spirit to reveal itself, Randal finally gave in and confessed he was gay. There was much rejoicing that the demon had revealed itself and with shouts and commands of heavenly authority it was cast out.
He hadn't felt much difference immediately following the prayer session, but that night when making love to his wife he had achieved an erection without having to resort to a fantasy of some hairy-chested muscle man with a nine inch cock and balls like King Kong. His joy was short-lived, however, as when he came to his climax, images of Bob, whom he had seen once in the shower at a retreat, came rushing in. Bob with his swimmer's body, tight, thick pubic hair and full, round, smooth ass pushed him right over the edge with such force, he almost cried out his name. So much for the effectiveness of exorcism.
Ralph came up from the basement office.
“Randal,” he exclaimed, embracing him in a full body hug. “Praise the Lord. So good to see you."
“Ralph,” Randal replied returning the hug. He hoped the guilt he felt from the fact he was still lusting after men in his fantasies and dreams wouldn't be revealed to Ralph's spiritual antenna.
“Sharon,” Ralph continued. Evidently Ralph’s spiritual gaydar was not turned on this afternoon as none of Randal's demons had revealed themselves. He hugged Sharon side arm fashion. “Praise the Lord.”
“Amen,” Sharon responded.
“Well, Randal. I'll let you get to your meeting with Bob. He has some great news for you—great news."
Ralph hugged both Sharon and Randal once more, praised the Lord again and left.
Randal smiled weakly at the lady and retreated down the stairs to Bob's office.
Here the hugs and the Lord's praises were repeated once again.
“Well, Randal, shall we start this time together in prayer?” Bob's greeting was warm and sincere.
“Yes, that would be fine, Bob.”
“Dear heavenly Father…” Bob prayed for God's blessing on the time he and Randal spent together and that the Spirit would guide them in the things they were to discuss.
“Amen,” Bob intoned.
“Amen,” Randal added.
“Let's start with a review of your week." This was standard practice for the pastoral leader and his subordinate: making sure the daily Bible study and prayer times were being observed; ensuring all familial obligations were adhered to; being certain the spiritual wellbeing of all the men and their families under his supervision were being addressed.
Once Bob was assured Randal was doing his duty to all under his care he got to the heart of the meeting.
“Randal, how are things going with your resistance to the sexual perversion we were able to drive from your being? Praise God for his power and mercy.”
“Yes, praise the Lord,” Randal said aloud.Shit, he thought inwardly. Was he going to have to admit he fantasized frequently about the man sitting before him when he jacked off in the shower? Or that one of his spiritual charges was so hot, Randal got hard every time they were together and could hardly wait until he could lay hands on him when they prayed? Worse yet, was he going to admit he still had certain gay porn sites bookmarked on his computer and used them as masturbation material whenever the kids and his wife were out of the house? God forgive him…no way was he going to admit to those weaknesses.
