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Mindless seeking for happiness in an[other] world[s] as [Me] a goblin

A "random" depressed and borderline insane guy is killed in a home intrusion accident and got reincarnated as a goblin. If not for the fact that he's a waste he could've done better in his second life, but oh well, he failed in it too. Then why does he even have a s.t/y?.r/y? W?.h>?Y?. a?m? eh?/r.r/E? Wo? a.R..??r/. y?.y>,o? [Friend]

DaoistBadWriter · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
45 Chs

Chief

Some time after Norn told Erika to go scout the area her himself went to check out the village.

It was necessary to maintain a facade that it wasn't raided.

If anything, some random adventurers killing all of his goblins weren't a thing he wanted.

As such, he needed to make sure that it looked plausible.

It wasn't hard. All killing except for one happened in the houses.

Yeah, there were some women moaning or screaming here and there, but...

It was normal in villages. At worst they would want to join the orgy or whatever.

What screaming? Oh, well, goblins played with the females.

It turned out that the ones in the cave died some time ago, since, well, goblins didn't think it was necessary to feed them...

Yeah, Norn made sure to instruct them to do so.

Was it, technically, cruel?

Nah, not a bit. In his world human raised cattle left and right.

So why couldn't HE raise some human cattle?

It's not like it was done just for fun. Goblins could reproduce using that "resource".

And since reproduction was necessary for evolution and all?..

It was a completely normal thing to do. From his standpoint, of course.

Any sane human being would be shocked, to say the least, if they knew what Norn was doing.

But did he really care? Life was just that, survival of the strongest.

Since he was strong enough to outsmart the whole village, why could he not do whatever he wanted?

Who would say "NAH NAH DONT DO THAT IT'S BAD!"?

...

After taking a stroll around the village Norn had a smile on his face.

This place looked just like a village!

Who would've thought!

It didn't look like it was raided or anything, yeah there were some broken fences here and there, but it was like that when he came here.

Fixing them was too much of a bother to be honest, he didn't even plan to make this place his base.

Since Norn didn't know what to do in his free time he went to the Big Goblins.

They occupied a bigger house and it was their personal cave only "Bigs" could enter.

Since he granted it to them personally, to assure their loyalty, he knew where it was.

After coming closer to it he heard lots of screaming.

Mostly women, but some goblins screamed as well.

It seemed that something was happenening there, Norn entered the house...

He saw two bloodied goblins. It seemed like they fought each other.

Several more "Big" goblins also stood here and there, simply looking at the two.

As for screaming females? There were several of them in a corner, he didn't understand why they screamed.

However, as he looked around the room he noticed something... strange.

One of the females hid not too far behind one of the bloodied goblins.

She was somewhat pretty and relatively young.

Well, it didn't look like she was an old hag, he didn't even look at her for long before saying:

"What's going on here?"

He made his tone as strict and manly as possible.

All of the goblins and even women looked at him, it seemed that they didn't notice him at first.

"He want to take my female!"

One of the goblins cried out, his voice was really unpleasant to the ear.

"This female is mine! I take her first! You want to thief!"

Second one cried out, his voice was as bad.

Norn looked at both of them, it was clear that females behind the first goblin were his, why did he have so much?

"Why do you have so many females in the first place? There's like 6 of them or something..."

He asked the first goblin, it was strange since amount of goblins and females was almost the same...

"I took them because i strong! I need many female!"

Was his answer.

Norn's expression was "What the fuck?.."

"Dont you remember what i said? One goblin gets one female, are you sure that every goblin has one?"

He asked him again, it was a rule that he set previously.

"Every goblin has female, i not thief them!"

He stated as if he was being wrongfully accused.

"Then why does he say that he doesn't have a female?.."

Norn pointed at the second goblin, asking again.

"Lying!"

He answered quickly and loudly.

"Yeah, okay."

Norn paused for a second.

"Now, every single goblin except for the with many females, go around the village and make sure that every goblin has a female. If they dont take one from this guy and give it to them."

He didn't consider his feelings at all.

"As for you, take it. But if i find out that you have more than one and some goblin doesn't have a single one - i will chop your dick off, okay?"

He looked at the second goblin with the kidnest smile possible.

"Also"

He added as he looked at the harem-owning-goblin

"If i find out that you used strength to steal those females, i will fucking kill you, got it?"

He was still smiling kindly, as if he was some random mall santa giving away gifts.

"Understand, chief! I not steal, i honest!"

The first goblin replied as he grinned, it seemed that he was confident and even somewhat happy in Norn's decision.

Why would he be? He didn't do any good to him.

The second goblin was also happy, which was fine.

"That's all, get to work or whatever you were doing."

As he was about to leave after saying it, the harem goblin ran in closer to him, saying:

"Chief, thank you for being good!"

Norn simply looked at him without any emotion.

"How am i good? I said that i will kill you if i find out that you abused others to take those females."

"I did not! That is why i thank you!"

He replied quickly, plastering a smile on his face.

"Yeah, whatever."

Norn turned around and left.

It wasn't any of his concerns even if he did steal them, it's just that he didn't want to lose goblins due to innfighting right now.

...

An hour or so ago, when Norn was sitting in his new house reading a book Erika finally returned.

She seemed tired and sweaty, which piqued Norn's... interest.

"Why are you all sweaty? Something happened?"

He immediately asked in a concerned voice, why would she be?

"No, no..."

Erika barely said as she was breathing heavily...

After some techniques she was finally "normal" again.

"Shush, It's okay, i was just trying to be as fast as possible, didn't want to make you wait."

She smiled kindly at the end of the sentence, but that couldn't be said about Norn.

"Are you fucking insane or something? What if someone ambushed you and you're tired? Dont ever do that again, fucking hell..."

He was ridiculing and even angry.

Why the fuck would she do that, really?

Was there a reason for her to behave like that?

She overexerted herself over literally nothing, so what if he had to wait for some time? He wasn't rushing anywhere!

However, as she lowered her head and was, as Norn thought, to start apologizing or whatever:

"Listen, i appreciacte your intentions, it feels really good that you want all the better for me, but have you thought about yourself?"

It was his turn to lecture her now.

"What if you were attacked, really? That would've been really bad, way worse than me having to wait for half an hour more or whatever..."

He came to Erika as he was saying all that.

"It's all fine, i am angry, yes, not because of your intention, but because you risked everything over nothing."

Without a pause he continued.

"Anyway, did you find anything?"

He immedaitely asked as if nothing had even happened.

Erika's head was still down, Norn thought that it would be a good idea to say some more.

Thus, he hugged her and said:

"It's all fine, i was so harsh because losing you is way worse than waiting for some more time, dont think too much about it, just remembred how i feel about you, okay?"

"Okay..."

Her voice was quiet and she resembled a little girl that just broke something valuable.

Norn didn't know if she was crying or not, but even if she was he didn't think he was in the wrong.

What if that really happened? What would he do? Become a fucking demon king because his heart was broken or something?

Fuck that, demon kings die like fucking flies, he wanted to live long!

"I didn't find anything, thought... I got back because there's a caravan approaching the village..."

Her voice was still quiet and soft.

However, it was clear that she didn't feel too bad as she hugged Norn back. It looked strange, but cute nonetheless.

"A caravan, you say? Any guards, valuables and such stuff?"

Norn immediately asked, time was crucial now.

"Just a random merchant, one horse and one human, he wont be too much of a threat to us..."

She was speaking slowly and started to caress Norn's bald head...

"Also, i think this village is not as good of a base as i initially thought, the roads around it are used a lot."

Her voice was a bit sad now, as if she was dissapointed that she misjudged the situation.

"It's fine, as long as there are no random adventurers we'll sit here."

Norn, however, didn't bother about it at all.

He let go of Erika and started walked out of the house.

"Come on, let's instruct goblins."

He told Erika without even looking back at her.

After a minute or so both of them came closer to the "Big" house.

Norn could hear lots of women screaming or moaning now, which, as he understood it, wasn't unusual for this place.

After entering in once again he saw a picture that wasn't that good.

It looked like blood, semen, sweat and god knows what were all around the floor here.

It was awful. The stench of this place could be used to torture people.

"YOU FUCKERS, CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF!"

Norn screamed on top of his lungs. He hated that this place was now worse than a crack house.

"IF I SEE SOMETHIGN LIKE THIS AGAIN I WILL BE ANGRIER THAN I AM NOW, YOU GOT THAT!?"

As he screamed, goblins and even women looked at him in horror. They knew perfectly well how strong he was.

His body alone was a lot bigger than that of a goblin. He looked more like a dwarf at this point, a green one.

More than that, he had Erika. It didn't seem like she would just let them kill Norn easily.

It's not like they planned to, they weren't stupid.

"Understand, chief!"

One of the goblins immediately got off his female and startd looking for something to clean this place.

"Commendable. You are now my right hand goblin."

He immediately gave him a new "role".

He was the first one to react to what he said, he even acted without thinking.

Such a loyal goblin will be a good "Go do this go do that" guy.

"Thank you, chief!"

He immediately cried out in response!

Many other goblins did what he just did, in hopes of getting a new role as well...

It was, however, futile:

"Stop that crap, there's a caravan coming here. Your mission is to wait until it arrives, kill the owner and the horse. Dont forget to hide the wagon as well so it looks like it wasn't even here. Got that?"

He instructed them without making stupid pauses or talking like a complete retard, he guesses that they could undestand what he said properly, it's just that the difference it languages was a bit big so it looked strange from his perspective.

"Understand, chief!"

Some of them immedaitely cried out.

Some, however, were still looking around to clean the place.

"Bring me all of the loot, i will look what's there and give it away as usual."

He announced before leaving.

It wasn't a big deal since he didn't need much at all.

He only took money and something he could use immediately. Last time he didn't take shit.

Only an artefact that Erika found was of any interested.

Alas, he didn't need it. Giving it to Erika was much more profitable that having it himself.

As for why he didn't want to kill the guy himself?

Why would he? What use would there be for his goblins if they didn't do anything and just fucked all day?

It was just stupid to not use them if he could, but since they could only kill now, it was all he could order them.

Oh, right, scouting was a thing as well.

One problem, however, how the fuck do you explain to goblin what a dungeon is?