I Didn't Do It

INTRODUCTION:

Will you believe someone if they deny doing something that they already done in front of you? Do you have enough patience for someone who's being so unreasonable?

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•START•

"I swear, I didn't do it mom!" my son shouted while holding he's tears.

"That's it, go back to your room!" I yelled at him.

I'm so over with this kind of conversation with him.

He's a twelve year old boy who seemed to be normal until he starts doing naughty things and denying it.

For example, it happened inside a small grocery.

" Ma'am, hold on for a minute!" a man yelled when I was about to leave the store with my son.

" What is it?" I asked.

He started to talk behind our back with their security guard. So I asked again.

"Hey what's the matter? We're kinda in a hurry just tell us what's going." I raised my voice a bit to caught their attention. Then suddenly the guard move forward to my son, grabbed his arms then said

" Come on little man show us your pocket!" he shouted and that caused my son to become so nervous that he was shaking while refusing to show his pocket. But the guard insisted to check my son's pocket and there it was.

" What's this? Why do you have to take this illegally when you could just tell me so that we could buy it? My God you're a disgrace!"

I couldn't help my voice to raise. My son, shoplifting for no reasons? That's so unbelievable! The worst is,

"No mom, listen I didn't do it! I would never do such thing!" he shouted while bursting his tears.

" So what are you trying to say? It climbed inside your pocket? Is that it?" I asked but I didn't wait for him to answer. I just apologized to the grocery's owner and pay for the stuff that my son took. This is so ridiculous!

How can he say that he didn't do that when all the proof leads to him. He's always raising my blood pressure!

Another five years gone by, and still he's doing what he's great at. Denying!

One day while I was driving home I saw him waiting at the gate with his pet dog. A cute shi tzu that he named Buddy. I was so calmed and excited to land my feet on our home but while I was driving thru our garage, I felt like I hit something so I run outside my car.

"Oh God what did you do to Buddy?" I yelled after seeing he's pet dog being crushed by my own car wheel. His dog was tied up and he was holding Buddy personally. So it only means that he let go of Buddy just in time for him to be crushed by my car!

" Mom please, believe me I didn't let Buddy go!" He cried while denying.

I'm done with this nonsense.

" Son, stop denying things! You're 17 year old and yet you act like a 7 year old child who broke a vase but can't admit it! I raised you very well, why can't you return that with some honesty huh?" I throw those harsh words to my son in front of our neighbors. I felt a guilt for not having enough patience so I run after him but it's too late. He already locked himself inside he's room.

I was so desperate to know what's happening so I googled he's case. I pity myself for being a bad mom as I read something about a mental disorder called "Alien Hand Syndrome".

All these years, I kept asking him what's wrong but I didn't do anything about that. Well maybe I did something. I get angry, I lecture him, I judged him for being a liar while what he needed the most is help. Specially from me, his mom.

I have to make things right so I took the duplicate of his room but when I opened the door my tears ran down both of my eyes.

I'm too late. I lost my son and now all I've got is a letter, from him saying.

"Mom, I felt like something stupid is about to happen. I just didn't know what it is. I hope that someday even once, you could believe me when I say that I didn't do it. Because really mom, I promise. I really didn't do the things that everybody's accusing me. Everybody including you. I don't have the guts to tell you everything. Sometimes I wish that you would accidentally mess with my cabinet and find my hidden letters about everything. By the way I Love you mom, sorry for all the troubles you thought I'd given you. About the things that's about to happen, I swear. I DIDN'T DO IT."

I lose my strength after reading he's letter. But there's more letters that I need to read even though it could lead mo to much worst pain. It's my fault after all. So here it is. Lots of letters saying the same thing.

" I DIDN'T DO IT. I think my hand did it!"

" What if my hands have their own life. They'll call me crazy once I tell them the truth."

" I think my mom doesn't want me as her child because I kept on giving her troubles"

For the first and last time, I believe you son.

You didn't kill yourself. I did. I murdered you! I'm very very sorry. No child on earth deserves a mother who judge her child more than anyone does. I'm so horrible!

If only I've been patient enough and care more about your situation, maybe we fixed things together. But because of me, you end up on stopping it alone by taking yourli--- oh yeah you didn't took your life. I made you do it.