15 Fifteen - Joined the program to eat

By the last performance, Stacey was starting to feel sleepy again, but Ken, Endo and Flail kept her awake by pinching or poking her every now and then. The other performances may have been good, but Stacey missed most of it. Her eyes kept drifting shut.

There was only one other performance that she had managed to stay awake for but that was because she had been jostled onto her feet by the boys to take part with the rest of the audience in their excitement. It must have been a good cover of a popular song or something. She hadn't understood it because it was in Tadpole.

After that performance, Stacey had struggled to keep her eyes open and to stay alert.

"Young lady sitting with the boys over there. I'd like to know if we are all boring you or if you also have a medical reason to be so disrespectful as to fall asleep during other people's performances," Orlan's voice cut through Stacey's sleepiness. Her heart leapt. Flail's sharp pinch also made her jump, eliciting a few snickers from around the room. "Just because you think you did well doesn't mean that you can't show your competitors your respect. One would think you're doing all this just to gain attention. Don't tell me your fainting earlier was a show? You've hardly shown any interest in anybody since the moment I walked into this room."

Stacey met the irate mentor's eyes and swallowed. How was she going to talk herself out of this?

Thankfully, Endo came to her rescue.

"Sorry, Orlan. Stacey's a bit shy and more of a reserved person. She doesn't show all her emotions like many of us here do. Us boys around her can say that even though we've only just met her today, she's definitely not putting it on. She fainted earlier because she hadn't eaten for the past few days. She's been sleeping on the street under the some stairs in the cold without a blanket and so she hasn't slept well. Now that it's warm and comfortable in here, she can't help it. She really isn't trying to disrespect anyone. When we were preparing for our performance, she nearly hurt herself because she was giving 110% effort in to try and learn our dance when she's never learnt to dance before."

"Apologise," Ken hissed under his breath, elbowing Stacey. "Quick. Bow."

"I'm sorry," Stacey bowed to the mentors on the stage and then in different directions to the other teenagers. "I apologise for not showing you all the respect you deserve. You're all so amazing and I've been feeling like I shouldn't even be here with all the things I need to learn from you all. You're all so amazing and great at what you do. I don't know if I'll ever be able to catch up. Perhaps I should just go and leave this stage for you people who actually know what you want to do and become. I'm just somebody who got here by accident. I don't want to let all your efforts go in vain. I'm sorry for causing any concerns today."

Stacey brushed the boys hands off her and started to edge herself out of the row. She really didn't belong here. Orlan's reprimand had clearly verbalised his suspicions and reminded Stacey that perhaps, she shouldn't stay.

"Sorry. Excuse me," she sidled past other boys in the row to escape to the aisle.

"Stacey," Endo called. "Don't go."

"Yeah," Ken and Flail agreed. "Stay."

Stacey felt bad for the other kids. She wasn't even meant to be here. She had literally come for the food, not to compete with the kids for their dreams.

"Wait, wait, wait."

Telea and Hugh hurried up the steps to block her way so that she couldn't leave. They stopped her from being able to reach the nearest door.

"Stacey, you aren't here by accident. You passed the audition fair and square. This is a fair competition. Who cares if you don't know as much as the other kids? Does it matter if your dreams and goals are different? It doesn't mean that you haven't worked hard," Hugh told her.

"What did you come here for in the first place, anyway?" Telea asked her with a knowing smirk.

Looking down, Stacey mumbled a reply.

"Say it louder, Stacey. Tell everyone your real reason for joining our program," said Telea with a twinkling grin.

"I came here to eat," Stacey said loudly and clearly into the microphone and then covered her face with her hands, feeling her face grow so hot it felt like it would catch fire at any moment. "I didn't come here to learn or to do anything else. I only came because there was food here and I was hungry."

"Well said," Telea hugged her around the shoulders. "Don't cover your face. It's nothing to be ashamed of. There are many here who came here to 'eat' as you put it. Maybe not as literally as you but everyone here is 'hungry' for something. Fame, an opportunity, a chance for a job and brighter future. As a stepping stone toward their dreams and goals. Everyone here can't say they didn't come here 'hungry to eat'. You have to be hungry in this industry. You have to work hard. If the person next to you is good and you have to put in twice the effort to be as good if not better than them, then that's what you're going to have to do. You have to do your best to survive and this is not an easy industry to survive in."

Stacey blinked, wondering exactly what Telea was trying to do. Making them forget about how she had been falling asleep during their performances by embarrassing her further or using her as an object lesson seemed... hmm, even more embarrassing. She could feel both her face and ears burning. Would everyone please stop looking at her and let her scurry back off to a dark hole to hide?

"Stacey, the producer has been showing off your audition recordings to anyone who will listen since you walked out of that audition room this morning, did you know that?" Hugh told her. "You have great talent. A little training and you could be amazing. You can't give up now. I refuse to let you give up now. I mean, it's your choice and we can't force you or anything, but after being given such a great opportunity, are you really going to give it away like this?"

Yes. Stacey had never really wanted to enter the entertainment industry in the first place. She really, literally only wanted to not starve to death, but not at the cost of ruining someone else's dreams when she wasn't meant to be in their way in the first place.

"Or," Telea added, seeing that Stacey didn't look convinced, "let me simplify this for you. Are you going to have anything to eat for your next meal when you walk out of here?"

A point. Telea definitely had a point there.

Stacey shook her head.

"Do you have any money?"

Argh. Telea was trying to drive her into a dead end, wasn't she?

Stacey shook her head again, feeling her head sink lower and lower. This was a new kind of shame. To let the whole world know that she was homeless, penniless and friendless. Who would be proud to admit such a thing?

"Do you have a place to stay? Any friends or relatives who could take you in? Anywhere you can feel safe? Where you can be warm and can sleep? Or where you can shower? Do you have any other clothes you could change into?"

Too much. Telea was hitting her where it hurt and Stacey couldn't take it. She crouched down and hid her face in her arms, wishing she could jump in a hole to hide herself from the cameras which had come up close to film her reactions with greater detail.

This was seriously mortifying. Did they have to show the world how poor she was on national television? Who would have thought that she'd one day be someone else's object of pity. Speaking of which, she had to smell. Nobody had cringed or mentioned it yet but here, Telea had gone and done it. It wasn't that she didn't want to be clean, ok? A person can only clean themselves up so much in a public toilet.

While in this crouched position, Stacey surreptitiously sniffed herself. It didn't smell that bad. Right?

"In which case," Telea stroked Stacey's back, "since you have nowhere else to go, you may as well stay and see how things turn out. You did pretty well in your performance just now, you know. We know you must be tired. You'll have a soft bed to sleep in. I heard dinner's going to be delicious. And there are people here to protect you and cheer you on. We're all waiting to see what you're going to become in the future. Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll be amazing. Ok?"

Ugh. It sounded like they weren't going to give her a choice. Stacey took a deep breath and lifted her head. Just suck it up, princess. You can do this.

But first, she had to ask the question that was bothering her.

"Do I really smell?" she whispered to Telea. The microphone picked up her voice, sending titters and snickers across the room.

"No," Telea covered the microphone although everyone could still hear her speak, "but I'll bet you're raring to have a good warm shower and some clean clothes, right? New clothes. I heard the crew bought you some new clothes. Aren't you excited to see?"

Stacey couldn't hide a small grin at that. Who didn't like new, clean clothes?

"There we go," Telea winked, helping her back up onto her feet. "Alright, Stace. Back to your seat. Try and stay awake for the rest of this. It's not long now. We'll try to send you to bed early after this evening's activities."

Stacey nodded, belatedly noticing the camera pointing at her from behind Telea. She ducked her head down to try hide her face and smile.

Why did she suddenly feel a bit warm and shy?