1 Meeting God???
COLD.
That is the word to describe what I'm feeling right now despite being surrounded by fire. I've lost too much blood already, I lost the feeling of my limbs long ago. There was a new feeling too, like a 6th sense, despite feeling nothing but cold. I could clearly tell the state of my surroundings.
I somehow unlocked new strength in the last moment to hold the ceiling from collapsing on us so everyone could escape, I was already strong enough to kick an armored car to its side. But I felt it, somehow I knew at that moment, that new feeling was true strength, although I felt somehow empty, like I only got half of it.
After everything collapsed I felt my death was near, but somehow it felt incredibly slow, I saw my life flash before my eyes. As if making fun of myself, I got my answer as to why I felt off about my strength.
I remembered someone who I considered truly strong, my Uncle. He was charismatic, he had his faults like being worse at lying than a 5y old, he was stronger than anyone I have ever known… yet he always managed to solve things with words. But he never would let injustice happen if he was there, be it with fists or words, maybe even both.
He inspired me and supported me… maybe I could've done better for Sis and Aidan if I acted more like him…
Just now...
I realized that…
I wasn't as strong as I thought.
'...'
'...'
'...'
'DAMIT!!!'
'STAND UP THEN!!!!! JUST THIS ONCE, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU FALLEN!!! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU STOOD BACK UP!!!'
'JUST.THIS.TIME'
But as if another mocking laugh at my face, everything went to black right after.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I feel as if I'm asleep but also conscious at the same time…. How long has it been? It feels like years but also like 1 minute passed when everything went to black. However, there is another feeling I dislike.
This is the first time I'm feeling like this… I feel like a failure…
…
…
…
After an unknown amount of time.
I woke up.
'Enough moping around, my Uncle would slap me if I kept being mad about it…'
*Breath in*
*Breath out*
So I stood up.
I look at my surroundings and it seems that I am in some sort of void, I look at the "ground" where I'm standing, it's black too. As there was nothing to see around me I inspected my body.
'I somehow kept my appearance when I was alive, I have my black shirt and dark blue pants, and I still have my scars on my body. However, there seems to be a difference.'
I thought as I crouched down and holding my hand up in a punching motion, I struck the ground with all the strength I could muster... and nothing. There seems to be no pain or any other kind of feeling at all.
'Such a weird situation.'
I usually use the feeling of pain as a meaning that I'm still alive… I'm not an M I SWEAR, but what I mean is that no matter how messed up your body is, if you feel pain then that means that you still have a chance to get up. So imagine that you get used to a certain feeling for the whole 20 years of your life but then, *poof* it's not there anymore, There is no way that you wouldn't find it weird, even if you know that you are actually dead.
*Sigh*
"So what now?"
With nothing to do, I tried to exercise. I punched and kicked the air many times, I even tried shadow boxing but I still felt nothing, no tiredness at all. After a few more exercises I realized that I didn't need to breathe, I could hold my breath for an unknown amount of time.
I even started to examine my muscles, with perfect control of my body I started to move every muscle and organ in my body, making my heart go faster, pumping blood to my liver to get adrenaline or even a stomach ache... and still, I didn't get any type of feeling.
I reluctantly gave up, I have to accept that in death I can't feel anything anymore. The feeling of moving like, jumping, running, walking, kicking, punching, and even the pain that you get after pushing your body to the limit is not there anymore. I couldn't feel alive anymore even if I'm still able to think.
With nothing else to do, I just started to move forward aimlessly. Or at least what I thought was forward.
….
….
….
I walked through the void for a while. I can't tell how much time passes as sometimes it feels like a minute passed when I woke up in here, but then as I finished thinking that it feels like a whole day passes without me realizing it. Thankfully I can still remember everything about myself and my loved ones so I didn't mind this uncomfortable feeling that much. Imagine that you fall unconscious while being conscious, so a day passes in a blink of an eye, a really hard thing to imagine right?
Being in a place with nothing to do nor feel, I ended up thinking about my Uncle. Something he taught me at an early age was that if I set my goals on something I must do 200% effort so I won't regret it, although it was mostly because of my 'special' condition he did follow that advice himself and so did I. Hehehe, I remember when I took it a bit too literally and fainted at many of my activities. I got lectured about how to take proper rest after that.
Dying without regrets huh… I broke my promise Uncle, I really achieved "true strength" in the end. Although it ended up not being what I exactly wanted. I realized that I just wanted to be like you… maybe if you didn't leave so early... I might've...
*sigh*
'No moping around' I thought and slapped myself. Even if I didn't feel any pain, I somehow felt awake.
If I'm worried about something is Big Sis, she really did win that bet, I died without a girlfriend since I was always too concentrated on becoming strong, it's not that I was ugly or something, it's just that I didn't have time for it, aside from that I knew that I wouldn't be able to put my training aside for a partner at the time. I just hope that she won't put on a dress for my funeral, she really looked weird with a dress on, as she was a battle junkie and it just didn't fit her image at all.
And for my only friend Aidan… I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be moping around for too long, I remember that he said something about writing a book about me and my achievements or something having to do with a theory of why and how I was so strong. I mean, I did wear weights on my arms, legs, and chest. I would've normally had health problems, but I persisted and I did become stronger.
While being lost in my thoughts, I walked up to a house without realizing, weirdly enough, the house was Japanese style and had a backyard and everything, but the thing is… everything else was still black void, the house was just in the middle of nothingness.
Out of curiosity, I walked in and I could hear something like a T.V show from the inside, I recognized it as such because of the static noise. I walked through the entrance and it was quite normal, it was exactly what you would expect out of a traditional Japanese house, I took off my shoes and walked in.
'I would normally be wary, but I'm dead already…. Aside from that, I don't want to be an asshole'
"Is there anybody home?"
I asked but got no answer, so I decided to just walk towards the room that had noise coming out of it. What I saw was… An old man in a white robe, sitting on a chair watching a show which seemed to be about magical girls on an old monitor… I looked around and I could see posters and action figures of other shows that I didn't know of. I only read sports and battle manga, so I only know very few troupes, the most famous troupe I know is that of magical girls or whatever they are.
The old man finally noticed my presence and fell off his chair with a funny scream, suddenly the whole house disappeared leaving both of us in the void again. I just looked at the old man with a blank expression. I could already guess what was going on… Well, mostly.
He got up in a hurried manner and stood up while uniting his hands as if praying. Suddenly a holy light started to come out of him, then he said. "Mortal, why are y-"
But I interrupted him. "I didn't know Santa was a lolicon..."
"TSK! Is that how you greet your God?"
"If you were the God I thought of, you wouldn't be asking that"
"Sigh~ Fine, it's not like I practiced for this kind of situation or anything." Finishing his whining he snapped his fingers, then suddenly out of nowhere we were summone- no, more like he built a Japanese living room around us… before I could notice, I was already seated on a couch while the old man was on another in front of me with a little table between us.
I looked at my feet 'Oh? My shoes are back on...' But he interrupted my thoughts.
"So… got any questions?" He asked and started to drink some orange juice that he got out of nowhere.
My mind was a bit of a mess right now, so I did what my Uncle taught me to do when I can't think properly or begin to doubt myself. Breathe in as if gathering your thoughts at once, then breath out as if blowing away everything useless.
*Breath in*
A being that seems to be God, he might know everything, what do I ask first?… Where am I? What's going to happen to me now? What was that weird 6th sense I awoke before dying? Why was my body so slow at learning martial arts? Am I in some sort of limbo? I'm going to hell? Heaven?
*Breath out*
"Why was my body defective?" I asked my first question
"Well, about that…." He avoided contact… 'so it really has something to do with you...' I thought in an accusing manner.
"So you know how you humans make machines do the job for you..."
"Yes…" I said as leaning forward as if asking him to explain further.
"I did try to do the same, I made some prototypes that would make bodies for me. I mean, when I was an ethereal being I wanted to be like you so I could relate to all of you. And well… some of them failed which I had to throw away while fixing the products they made, from there I would give them away. I might or might not have forgotten to fix one product that came badly wired..."
Things clicked in and I realized that it must be why it was so hard to learn stuff.
"..."
"..."
"¯\_(ツ)_/¯"
"HOW DID YO-"
"*Ahem* So do you have any other questions?"
