1 Fate

I'm a side character.

I learned to accept this fact early on, as early as the age of eight. See, that's when I realized that life was a novel. Literally.

On that day, my eighth birthday, my twin sister Claire was kidnapped. I was devastated of course. Who wouldn't be upset at the kidnapping of their close twin? But I was also a bit shocked.

Now, you might be thinking, 'Claec, anyone would be shocked by this turn of events!' And yes, that is a reasonable claim. Except her kidnapping wasn't what shocked me. I... really didn't have much of a reaction towards that. Perhaps I was too young, but I don't think I've changed all that much. I've always been apathetic towards events in my life. A glassy-eyed child who did whatever he was told. It's not exactly something I can help, it's just who I am.

So, losing my sister wasn't as impactful as it should have been. The thing that shocked me was the connection I made between the happenings of life and my dreams.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not some Oracle or anything, I just dream of the life of someone else. Specifically, a very pitiful someone else. Dreaming of their life isn't the most pleasant thing ever. His father left his family, his mother turned abusive, he was bullied, and a myriad of other terrible things happened in his lifetime. I haven't seen all there is to his life, but I have seen the ending. An ending he made himself through suicide. Ultimately, he was a sad person with a pretty ordinary depressing backstory.

Anyways, I'm rambling. The point is, the person in my dreams has a favorite book, 'Broken Ties'. In this book, there is a main character, and she is kidnapped. At the place where she goes after being kidnapped, she meets a girl named Claire.

Well, I'm sure you've connected the dots by now.

That's how I realized I lived in a storybook. It wasn't just that though. Our names, our history, the world we lived in. Everything lined up too nicely to be a coincidence. But still, for a while, I refused to believe we lived in this story. Because in this book, Claire's twin dies.

Yeah, you can see why I wouldn't want to live in this particular novel.

At the same time, I was a bit relieved. I mean, Claire had just been kidnapped, and now I knew that she was going to be okay. Claire doesn't die in the book. Besides, the reality that it was my fate to die wasn't very impactful when I was eight years old. Now though, I am 12. I am much more mature and can 'definitely' comprehend the severity of death despite never having experienced anyone close to me dying.

Ahem. In any case, I have learned to accept the fact that I am going to die. In a way, my dreams have prepared me for this. The guy in my dreams only lives to the age of 16. At least I get to live for an extra year.

Again, you're probably thinking, 'Claec! Get yourself together! Just change your fate, take your life into your own hands! Save yourself! Don't be such a wimp! Everybody deserves to li-' Etcetera etcetera. And to that I say...

Are you an idiot?

I'm not stupid. The story ends without sacrificing any other major characters. Do you think I'm selfish enough to change that? Do you honestly think that I should risk the lives of Claire and everybody else I care about just so I can save my own skin? I'm not that kind of selfish person.

Yes, I want to live. Absolutely I would rather survive than die. Who wouldn't? But I just don't see how that would be possible. My life ending is one of the main turning points of the entire novel. The heroine, who has a crush on me, is heartbroken. My death opens the opportunity for my little brother, the main love interest, to comfort the heroine and realize that he does not have to live in my shadow anymore. Claire, since she is my twin, becomes enraged and passionately pursues those who kill me for vengeance. Them, along with several others, are deeply affected by my death. The story could not exist without my death.

I don't know what kind of evils I committed in my past life to be cursed with this awful fate of waiting for my demise while knowing that I cannot stop it. Whatever I did, I would like to go to my past self and slap them in the face! If anything, my apathetic personality is the only reason I will be able to survive this kind of torment. Without such shallow emotions, I probably wouldn't have the conviction to follow the plan. I just wouldn't.

Though, often I do wish I had a different personality. Maybe for that exact reason.