Feeling old
Shan woke up with a terrible back-, neck- and headache. It all was because of the sleeping position he woke up in. Head around, laying on his belly, leg crossed over the hug pillow, twisting his back. Usually, he would use the hug pillow as a kind of support, hugging it, his body wrapped around it. Never like this.
But because the season was in full swing, tomorrow they had a match, so Shan took sleeping pills, to get a nice eight hours of sleep.
Not like he had woken up refreshed, though. Shan was still lying in bed, debating whether death would be better than this or not. Otherwise, he had nothing to look forward to. Was waking up with pain a sign of adulthood?
Someone knocked on the door and it only made Shan to move his head from one side to the other, where he could see the door.
"Come in," he mumbled, but knew it wasn't loud enough so he screamed.
"Are you awake?" Chao asked when coming in. Well, at least he knocked.
"I really don't think you have common sense. No, I'm dead and it's my spirit speaking." Shan ironically grunted and Chao frowned.
"Why do I think you are worse now than before? I liked the silent I-don't-care-about-you more than this version of you." Shan only grunted a Korean swear word that described how much he liked Chao at that moment.
"The suit came in," Chao said and pointed at the hanger he had in his hand. Shan was destroyed because how he missed such a huge thing was a mystery to him.
"Thanks." He genuinely thanked him and turned his head back to the other side, not willing to wake up yet. Sleep and rest were such blissful and rare things to him.
"Get your lazy ass down, soon the breakfast will end and then you may want to stream. You still miss some hours." Chao turned away and, without saying goodbye, he left the room, closing the door.
Shan sighed, but with grunts and deep breaths, he got up, and made his morning routine of toilet and shower, together with skincare and hand care.
Even after such a long time, he still cared about his hands, a lot more than other guys his age did. He was only twenty-one. Or so he thought, or he would be? He had a birthday in August. Shan counted if he was right and yes, for six years he played the game. For five years, he was a member of Zhu long. So yes, this year he will be twenty-one.
He got out of his room, but immediately halted his steps because he heard something from the opposite room. It was something Shan remembered very well but tried to forget.
It was him. Playing the piano. He knew the arrangement of that piece. It was something he thought of after meeting Woojin. And his teacher loved it, so they recorded it and put it out there on the internet.
Shan stood there, confused, stunned, nauseous, when the song changed. And it was another piece by him. Now live version of the Kpop song he played piano for. Thankfully, after they used his recorded sound for the album, they did not need him for the live events.
He played the slow ballad live only once. For Woojin.
Why did he know all his songs? Shan wanted to knock and ask. He was really curious about the reason. Maybe Hyun knew it was Shan. But there weren't enough pictures of Shan from that age. And he changed a lot after those years.
But Shan couldn't go in and ask. Hyun was avoiding him. Shan hasn't seen him for more than a week. He was only attending the games where Zhu long went. And that was it. He asked Lucy, but she just shrugged and said that she said it would happen, but she can't do anything about it.
He felt haunted. The past he was covering up was haunting him lately, everywhere he went. Pissed, anxious, and in a terrible mood, he went down to have at least a sweet breakfast, only to find out there was almost nothing left for him from the buffet.
Shan had some eggs, two toasts, and the last donut stick before going back up to his room. Grabbing the box of Lego he bought last time, he went back down to the streaming room.
Chao turned around from his computer and his gaze followed the box Shan had. He shook his head and went back to the game.
The rooms for training and streaming were different. The training room had one screen per computer and everyone had their designated place, with chairs, mouses, and keyboards that were to their liking.
On the other hand, the streaming room had tables by the walls, two to three screens, and one camera per computer and everything was generic black and red, the logos of Zhu long on chairs and headsets.
Shan took one of the computers that only had two screens because he didn't need more. He took his headset, set some calming music, covered the logo, and set the stream's name and standby screen, saying it would be building videos today, and went on live.
To his surprise, there were people who watched him show the Lego and build it. And it wasn't a small number. Yes, it was half of what he usually had when playing, but it was comparable with streaming during the night.
"Hello, guys. Today I woke up... Feeling old, so I decided to have fun with some building blocks… You can ask me some questions as usual and if I notice, then I'll try to answer." Shan opened the box, took out the manual, and glanced at the screen with the chat.
There were some questions about their games. Why did they play Friday and Sunday one week and the other week? They, again, had no break, playing Saturday and Sunday. Do you have a girlfriend? Why are you always so serious? How long do you play SoL?
"That was only the beginning. Now, we will have two days in between matches. It will get better," He answered genuinely. With a grunt, pushed in one of the bricks before answering the others.
"No, I don't have a girlfriend. My only priority now is winning the world title. It would be bad for her as I don't have time. I have played for I think six years. And I'm always serious because I need to." Shan's answer about the girlfriend thing made some praise him. But there was one person in particular who was watching the stream and was saddened when he heard it. Yet it made perfect sense.