10 Chapter 10

“Whatever happens, you will not take any tension, promise me. “

Ava thought for a second and then turned my face to words her and let her lips grab mine. She didn’t allow me to speak further, but made her soft, glossy lips flow seamlessly to mine. Her right hand was playing with the hair on the back of my head, and my hands were caressing her softly on her back. I then pulled her saying, “leave me, Ava, and stop exciting me. “

She laughed aloud with a naughty face. “If you find me taking tension, do what I did now and we will get lost in ourselves, forgetting the world around us. “

I smiled at her idea and explained everything with a smile on her face. During the last nine years, I had never seen her worried for too long. She was a girl who found out a solution to bring her smile back, or I must say, she was a girl who couldn’t live without smile on her face.

Later, I got ready for office and left. I wondered at dad who was not showing any change in his behaviour, even when he knew I was making greeting cards for him since the past two weeks. The whole day, I kept thinking about dad and The happy days spent with him. But the more I was thinking, that tenser I was getting.

That day, I returned early from office. Ava, as usual, was resting in our room. Mom was helping the maid in the kitchen and dad was in his room, watching TV, I suppose. I placed the laptop on my desk, and mom came with a glass of water. “Thanks, mom. “

“She is not feeling well today. I have asked her to sleep for sometime. “Mom told me.

“Why? What happened to her? “

“Not feeling comfortable, uneasiness. It happens. I have asked her to rest so that she can enjoy the dinner. “

“Thanks, mom. “I replied opening my wrist watch. Mom went back into the kitchen.

I took a shower and when I returned, Ava had woken up, but was still resting in bed, looking at me. “Hey princess, you woke up? “

She kept smiling, without replying to anything. I removed the towel and started wearing a T-shirt and shorts, when she replied, “you were looking so cute, koo. And that kiss, I could never forget in my life. “

I turned back to listen to her in curiosity and asked, “when, Princess? “

“You remember, we went for a picnic in that cab thingy near the ocean, the camps, in Busan?”

“Oh! During our university vacations? Yes I remember. “I replied burying myself next to her, facing her.

“You were looking damn cute that day. Something happened to me seeing you open your shirt and same topless in the water. “She replied.

“Did you imagine me like a hot actor or what? “

Ava laughed and continued, “Actually, I intentionally came into the changing room that day, knowing that you were there. “

Bug-eye, I replied, “Oh shit! And you are telling me now. If you would have told me clearly, I was carrying a condom as well that day.” I tried to be funny, and she punched me for that. That was the second time we had kissed.

Flashback ;

After I proposed to her in the university, we came to Busan for a weekend. I have planned to visit my parents while Ava stayed with Mina. We planned to visit the sea waves camping. After having fun for a few hours in the water, I decided to change and went to the changing room. It was just a small hut made up of bamboo and grass. I took my towel, and wearing only shorts, went inside. I was about to take of shorts when Ava entered. She looked shy. So was I, but she didn’t go out. She came inside and lock the door, without uttering a word. When you love someone, shyness vanishes, and I realised that for the first time. The next thing I remember, she had slammed her lips on mine and nearly knocked all the wind from my lungs. I hardly had a moment to react before she pressed her tongue to the seam of my lips and, at my grant of access, delved inside my mouth. It was a very sloppy kiss, And the strong taste of vanilla ice cream got exchanged in the intermingling of our blowing breaths. Her arm reached up and tangled around my thick, muscular neck. In an instant, she had pulled away and arched up into my broad chest, moaning at the contact of my body heat against her own. I plunged back into her lips and when the knowledge that there were others outside moved us apart, I kept looking at her. She leaned on the bamboo wall with eyes downcast, in shyness.

(end of flashback)

I was completely unprepared. You would think after all those years I had spent with my love – watching her talk, laugh and frown – I would know all there was to know about her lips. But I hadn’t imagined how warm they would feel pressed against my own. We both started our journey as friends in school. We had started of as teenagers. Being together in life was a fantastic feeling for both of us. For me, my life was just for her, and I never wanted anything else except a smile on her face.

We live once, and in one life, we breathe 1 million times. I wanted her to smile more than our breaths. For me, her smiles were more precious than any gem on this earth, and I would do anything for that.

“You miss our days before our marriage, Ash? “My princess questioned while we lay side-by-side on our bed. “No, because you are with me, and every new day is becoming memorable walking along with you. “I replied slowly. “Ash, will you always love me as you do now? “ “I have loved you for half of my life, which I have lived, and there could be no reason which could stop me from loving you forever and ever,” I replied, kissing her hand softly.

It was seven in the evening when the doorbell rang. We could hear from our room that it was Ava’s parents. I could hear mom open the door and talking to them. I stood up and so did my princess. I helped her walk out of the room.

I hugged her parents and requested them to be comfortable. Mom informed that dad was in the washroom and would be joining them soon. It was going to be a good get together with Ava’s parents and her brother along with his wife. Dad joined us after sometime. Ava greeted her parents and took her seat on the sofa next to her father. A conversation with my father was always a tough job for Ava’s parents.

“So, hope you are comfortable here in Seoul? “ Ava’s dad questioned, although I could feel his hesitation in speaking to dad.

“It’s So strange when someone asks you if you are feeling comfortable in your own home.” Dad replied sarcastically.

“No, no I didn’t mean that. I asked that due to the change in the city. “

“It’s okay “dad replied without any expression on his face. Almost after 30 minutes of unfriendly conversation, Ava’s brother’s wife came to rescue.

“Dinner is ready at the dining table, please join us. “I stood and asked everyone to come. Dad took the center seat, followed by Ava’s father and then me. There were all vegetarian dishes as Ava’s parents were vegetarian. As everyone took their positions, They started to serve.

“The food is delicious. The tofu is very tasty. “ Ava’s mom complimented.

“Thank you; Ava guided the maid. “Mom replied. Dad kept thinking, and then interrupted, “a family dinner without non-vegetarian food is so dull. “

“We don’t eat non-vegetarian food, but it does not mean we don’t enjoy ourselves, “ Ava’s mom replied with a smile.

But dad took it sarcastically and replied, “my son has changed, else he would have converted Ava to a non vegetarian.”

“It’s her own choice, and I respect her for that. “I tried it to reply, softly taking a bite.

“Yes, I know, it’s only your parents who you do not respect. Else you will respect her parents. Why won’t you? “Dad gave a sarcastic look and replied. I looked at Ava, she was asking me to stop responding I didn’t want to create a scene in front of the guests, but that was not going to end. For him, it was an opportunity to let his heart out and make Ava’s Family know that his relationship with his son had been affected because of their daughter.

“Why do you care, we lost our son. “He paused and then continued, “your daughter got a great husband. The only one who didn’t even respect their parents. “

His comments shook me from inside. How could you say that! He had almost made them seem responsible for our sour relationship. I was already burning from inside and hearing him, I could not resist myself from replying.

I left the bite I was about to take and replied, “what do you want to say? She proposed to me? The only son of yours? You are wrong, dad.”

“You cannot talk to me like this. Don’t think you can insult me just because I am at your place. “Dad replied in anger. Mom stood up from her place to intervene and requested dad to calm down.

“Leave him, mom. He is not a kid who does not understand the difference between right and wrong. “I shot back.

Ava’s brother tried to stop me by placing his hand on my shoulder and requested me to relax. I looked at Ava and she looked tensed and was asking me to stop replying.

“Koo, please sit and eat your food. “

“She has made my son a koo now.” Dad through another sarcastic comment.

I gave an annoying look, “what are you saying dad? She calls me that lovingly. So just stop spitting shit and crap.”

“What love? This love has spoiled your life. If you had been an engineer, you would be earning more and would be having some engineer wife. “

His every word was making me angry year and provoking me to reply. “My life is not spoiled. I am happy in my life. Your aspirations to make me an engineer or not letting you be happy. “

By then, mom had started crying. Ava’s mom stood from her seat and tried to console her. Ava also rose from her chair and came to me and begin requesting me to stop. I pushed her hand and move closer to dad, who by then was walking to words the drawing room.

“You have never understood me, and I realized in the morning, you will never do. Because you are wearing spectacles of contempt. You don’t know how I feel, you never did, you only care about yourself and your desires. “I shouted from behind.

By then, Ava’s dad had stood from his seat and reached dad, requesting him to relax and have his dinner. But dad was in no mood to listen. He took steps back, shouting, “I am neglecting you? You left us alone and moved out for the choice of life you wanted. You never cared about our feelings. You were the only concern for yourself and your wife. Now when you are planning a baby, you need your mother, and you called her. Before that, in the last two years, did you ever call her to your place?”

“I was afraid of you and your reaction, so was not calling you both. Try to understand, dad. “

“Leave it, please let it go, “mom told dad.

“I would have never entered your home if your mother had not forced to me too. “Dad replied coming closer to me. I raised my voice for the first time in front of him and then tears filled my eyes. I was pushing my heart a lot to stop the tears and not to let others know my weakness. But I wanted my heart to pour its feelings that day. And I again replied with a heavy voice this time, “you came because you wanted Ava to worry. You lost your son, and so you want me to lose my baby. “

I looked straight into his eyes. His face was not clear to me due to my tears, but I know he was staring at me with anger. And then he slapped me hard on my left cheek. The slap was as loud as a clap and stung my face. I staggered backwards, clutching my face, my eyes watering. Silence filled the room. I kept holding the dining table chair, with my head down.

And then, I took a step towards dad and again tried to look into his eyes and replied, “every night, me and this girl right here, my wife have been making greeting cards for you, thinking you would start loving us, but we were wrong. This girl whom you hate, loves you like crazy, but she is wrong. This girl who knew you hate me, but still wanted me to love you, she is wrong. But Ava, today I won. I was correct. He never loved me and he will never love us. “

I replied in a thick, soft voice and turned to leave the house, picking the car keys.

“Where are you going ash? Wait! “ Ava shouted from behind. But I didn’t respond to her too. She came taking long steps to the balcony and lead to check on me. I looked up and found her standing there; she called me again. “koo, wait! Where are you going? “

My eyes were filled with tears, and I did not want her to see them. It was her six months and I didn’t want her to worry. I open the door of the car and was about to get in, when she called again. Please don’t go. “

Hearing her soft voice, I wanted to stop, but I wanted to run away from the situation for some time. Without replying to her, I sat in the car and drove away. I didn’t want to talk to her as well, as she hadn’t listen to me and invited them in the first place. I tried to run away from them all. I wanted to be alone and cry out loud.

I drove my car to words the Seoul Subway, a place where I loved to be alone and watch stars. I could feel the emptiness in my heart, even when I had the most lovely person, my wife in my life. I wanted things to be perfect, but life is not so easy. I kept driving fast, letting my tears flow. I never smoke, but that day I bought a packet of cigarettes. I tried to burn my emotions, my tears, my feelings and let everything go away in its smoke. As it plays my hands in my pocket to pull out money to pay, I realized I had left my mobile behind, I was worried that my princess might be trying to call me, even though I did not want to talk to anyone at that moment.

Sometimes I felt I had made a mistake by only loving her and leaving everything behind, but when I saw her, I realized I had done the right thing. I could not have been so happy without her. When I think of my father, I feel, yes, I had not lived up to his aspirations, but his perception to blame my wife was not correct. She always tried to patch up things and never wanted us to be a part. It’s just that turns in life which presented them in such a way. I drove my car at a speed of hundred kilometres per hour and reach to my favorite spot. I parked my car and stepped out, pulling out a cigarette.

After placing the cigarette on my lips, I tried lightning it with a matchstick. I found it tough to burn as I was never a smoker. It took me 3 to 4 tries to finally light it. I took my first puff, and then the second, and so on. My tears had dried by then, but not the emotions and feelings. Whenever I try to think about dad, my tears started to roll down my cheeks. With every puff, I could remember my childhood days, when dad used to drop me to school, play with me, help me cover my books, help me with my homework and would kiss me on my forehead every morning before I went to school. I started smoking the cigarettes one after the other. I wanted to think about something else, but don’t know why my mind retook me to my memories of the time spent with him, making me cry over and over.

As much as I try to hold it, the pain became out like an uproar from my throat in the form of a silent scream. The beads of salty water started following one after another, without any sign of stopping. I had the car door and tried to scream but the sound of the passing cars around my voice. The world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds.

Almost an hour past and I kept sitting on my car bonnet. I continued smoking. I didn’t know what happened at home after I left. I was worried about Ava, but decided to go back after a while. I wanted to let my tears dry off completely.