17 { Part 2.1 }

(y/n)'s pov:

Before I even know, I was already on a horse cart, going to wall Rose with Eren and the others. I got seated beside Levi, because Hange forced me. She knows about our fight. I think Erwin told her.

'Hey, Four Eyes. Have you change your interest to rocks now?' Levi asked. 'Yeah, this is not a normal rock. This is a piece from the female titan's surface skin.' Hange says as she look at the rock in her hands.

'Huh? It doesn't disappear?' Armin ask out of curiosity. 'Yes, even if Annie change back to her human form, the rock still remains as it original form.' I know where this conversation is going so I just look to the front and watch how the night goes.

It's been years since I got here, and I'm starting to lose memory of my family, and now I'm starting to forget their faces. Too bad, that I can't draw or I would have draw them. I managed to write all of the anime plot before my memories get worse, unluckily I can't remember now. I have to open my book to check it but I can't let others see it.

'We have arrived in Ehrmich district.' Hange tell us. I follow Mikasa to gear up and prepare to depart from Ehrmich district. My leg is ok to walk around now but I can't run that fast yet. I saw Levi and Pastor Nick walked in. Pastor Nick has a cold expression.

Hange went over and ask him, 'Are you still not going to answer? There is not much time left. Are you going to answer or not? Decide fast!'

'I can't tell anything. Other Pastor will not answer either, just like me.' Pastor Nick answered as he look down. 'Fine, thanks for the cooperation.' Hange replied with anger.

'This case is too big for me to decides alone. Us, the wall worshippers have to obey the rule and to stay loyal.'

'Whose order? God?' Hange question him.

'I can't answer that. But I will tell you about the one who we got order to watch over. I heard that she got into the survey corps. Her name is Christa Lenz.'

'Please, excuse me. My name is Sasha Blouse from the 104th trainee corps.' I heard Sasha come in but others don't notice that, due to what Pastor Nick told them.

'She's the only one who will tells us the secrets that we don't even know. This is all I can tell you.'

'That's mean she is in the front line right now.' Hange thought out loud.

'Then we must go now.' Eren said as he turn around, bumping into Sasha. I went to Sasha and hold out my hand, helping her stand up.

'Sasha, what are you doing here?' Sasha then realized why she's here. She pick up her report paper and then go to Hange.

'I have come to report to you, Second in Commander. I have been given task to give you this.' Sasha then give Hange the report.

I saw Levi went to Hange and talk for a few minutes. I wonder what they are talking about. Never mind, I started to check my gears to make sure it's ready for me to use. Levi come up to me and say, 'Can we talk for a minute?' But before I can say anything he drags me with him. I look back and saw Hange mouthing the word good luck to me.

We got to a room, which looks like a supply room. 'I'm sorry about what I said back there. I didn't mean it. I was vanquished with anger and didn't care about my words. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry that I got jealous. I just got mad when I saw Jean tickling you and he was like too close to you. How can I not get ma-.' I cut him off by giving him a peck on his lips.

'How many times are you going to say sorry? The Levi I know is not like this. Don't say sorry for getting jealous. I like that you got jealous but I don't want to fight about it. You can get jealous, I'm yours, Aren't I?'

Levi then grab me by waist. Making me look straight into his grey-blue eyes. He leaned forward and kiss me passionately. He let go and lean on my forehead, 'Just don't get too close to other guys. I don't like others getting close to what is mine.'

I got butterflies in me when he said that. He got that possessive type, but I like it so it's not a problem. I hug him and stay in his embrace for a few moments. 'Let's go before Four eyes come here.'

I nodded and let go of Levi. As I was about to walk out, I got an idea and decided to quickly give a peck on Levi's cheek and run/walk out. Not looking back at his expression.

I saw Hange sitting down as she read the report. She look stressed. 'Is something wrong, Hange?'

'Oh, I got the information of Annie Leonhart. I got it late because it took too long to find the details. As the report says, it said that there is other 2 people from the 104th trainee corps that comes from the same place as Annie. Those 2 are Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Hoover.'

I wish I can check my book right now. I can't think back no matter how I try. I felt someone hold my hand, I look up and it was Levi. 'What ever you are thinking, just know that it will be alright. Don't stress yourself out, if you need anyone to talk to just know that I'm here.' Levi whispered.

I guess he noticed my expression. I smile and nodded at him. I must say that action caught other's attention. I saw Gunther and Oluo smirking at me. I glared back at them and make a motion to make them listen to Hange's plan.

Great, I'm going to get tease by them. After the planning is done, I went to my horse and start to get on him. 'Jack, you going good there, buddy?' He neigh back at me. 'I'll take that as 'OK'. We're going to on a long trip so be careful.' I said as I pat Jack's head.

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We're on our way to Wall rose, and I haven't check my book yet. Why I feel like something bad is going to happen? I don't know what's going to happen? I hope it won't be that bad.

Hange said it would take about an hour ride. It's going to be along ride. I look to my side and saw Oluo and Gunther. Here, they come.

'So, you and Levi?' Gunther questioned, more like in a teasing voice. 'Well, how about you ask your Captain? I think he would be gladly answer your question. Oh just in time, Captain. Gunther and Oluo have some questions to ask you. I'll be on my way then. Good luck.' I wink at them and left them with Levi who just come to my side.

I thought I escaped but I didn't. 'Don't think you're going to escape us, (y/n).' I look back and saw Mikasa, Armin and Eren catching up to me. 'Spill the tea, (y/n). Are you and Levi dating now?' Eren ask and all three of them are looking at me with curiosity.

'Yes, there's no point lying to you guys anyway. And stop giving me those eyes.'

'Just as I thought, I know there's something going on between you two since back at the old HQ. Our (y/n) managed to win our Captain's cold heart.' Eren chuckled.

'Congratulations, (y/n). Finally you have found someone you love. So who confess first?' Armin beamed with joy.

I felt heat filled my cheeks as he ask me about that. 'Oh, well... it was me.' I nervously laugh and try to hide my blush. 'Well, at least I confessed, unlike you two who are still not confessing yet.' That's make Eren and Mikasa. '(y/n)!!' Mikasa and Eren yell at me at the same time. They look at each other and look away.

That make Armin and I laughed at them. 'Stay safe, ok? Let's try our best in this too!' Armin encourage us. We all nodded and went forward.

We got to the ruins of a castle and save Connie and the others. I saw Ymir lying around the bodies of titan. I saw that her stomach got open and smoke surrounding her. Is she a titan shifter, too? I quickly look around me and take out my book.

Then memories come back to me. I failed! Again! I failed to save Nanaba, Lynne, Gelgar Henning and Mike.

If I just check my book, this wouldn't have happen. I fell down to my knees and at the ruins of the building. I felt tears start to fall down. Why am I so useless? Why? Why does this have to happen like this? What if I did check the book? Would I be in time to save all of them?

'Stop blaming yourself, (y/n). Things happen and this is not your fault, even if you remembered some deaths are meant to happen. Don't let this get to you.'

After all this time, this voice decide to show up again. I called out to it but no answers again. They said those and always left. Why is this happening to me?

'Are you ok, (y/n)? Are you crying?' I heard Petra asking me out of concern. 'Yes, I'm ok.' I said as I turn around and wipe my tears. 'It's just I don't want to keep losing people.'

'(y/n), I know how you feel. I have been through there. I have lost a lot of comrades ever since I got in the survey corps, but I always moved on because they wouldn't want us to be sad and get sulk down like this. They want us to keep fighting for them to save humanity. That's our job to make that happen. No matter what happens don't let your emotions get through this or you'll die.'

'Thank you, Petra. I know you've been through this more than me and here I am, feeling pathetic.'

'No need, just know whenever you are down, you still have us. We trust you and I know you trust us, too.'

Sorry for not being there in time to save you, but I will help achieve the dream that you all want. I will help save humanity for all of you, even if it takes my life.

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Word count: 1790

Published: 20, November, 2020