6 Entry Six

September 18, 2015

One hour. That's how long we talked. In that one hour, I never once numbed myself. I somehow didn't need to. I didn't feel the need to run and be careful with my words as I do with Mr. and Mrs. Taylor. I felt my heart beat faster than it ever has before. I have never talked with anyone for a whole hour before. I have never felt like this before.

We only talked about school and our hobbies though, as much as possible I had to steer the conversation from family matters. I also didn't know if he knew about me being his fiance yet. I learned so many new things about him, I barely talked, really.

I didn't have many hobbies aside from writing to you and telling you about my day. He has such an amazing life though, he has friends and everything. It's amazing to hear about his life, I feel like I was actually there when he was telling his stories. He's amazing.

Unfortunately, the conversation had to end. Mrs. Taylor said I couldn't be out of the house for long, and we were talking for more than an hour already. I know they wouldn't really do anything to hurt me physically anymore, but I felt like if I didn't follow they might find another way to punish me as well. They don't have to act nice in front of me anymore, after all, I already know the reason why they did it before.

You might be wondering what I'm doing talking with Gared in the first place, I know I felt really greedy that I even got to talk to him today. It's just that Mr. and Mrs. Taylor told me to see Gared today, they wanted him to be in love with me but there's a problem.

I don't know how to do what they had asked. Mrs. Taylor said that I should dress in a provocative way before I head out. I knew what she meant. I had to wear that dress that Mr. Taylor bought for me. He said that it was for business meetings with Mrs. Taylor. I had to look good for the investors. I don't like that dress at all. I find it too short. On a normal day, Mrs. Taylor would have left a burn mark on my thighs if she saw me in that dress. Because she said once before, "Daughters of a perfect family never wear such things unless for business."

I still don't know if I did a good job with Gared. I have no idea how to make someone fall for me after all. I also don't know how to tell if someone has fallen for me. With Mr. and Mrs. Taylor, I know that I did well when they don't burn or bruise me, but I don't think it applies to Gared as he had never done that before either.

I wonder if Gared liked my dress, even if I hated wearing it, I would wear it every day if he said it was pretty, I want to talk with him again soon.