1 Unmatched in History
A burst of villainous laughter echoes through the somber halls and rooms of the Helston Military Museum. The laughter grows in intensity, almost to the point of insanity.
A terrified older man creeps steadily through the halls pursuing the maleficent sound. Sweat pours down his face, but grim determination forces his feet forward.
"Genius, Genius!" a booming voice echoes down the hall.
The older man takes a big gulp of air and swallows his fear. Unable to go back, he must uncover whatever fiendish plot foments within. He inches closer and closer until he finds the source of laughter. It's the old mech control center!
"Unmatched, simply unmatched in history!" The voice rumbles.
Although the older man is courageous, his courage nearly evaporates at that hearing of the fearsome voice.
"Can anyone compare to my creation? Will any be safe once I unleash this masterpiece? Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha, I think not! Mwa ha ha ha ha!"
A shadow occupies a chair in front of an ancient terminal. It is the faint electric flicker of a monitor that gives form to the shadow with a halo of light.
The older man reaches his trembling hand toward the back of the seat and then spins it with all of his might! The chair turns quickly, while the man prepares, a billy club in his hand, ready to strike!
When he turns the chair around, his face flashes through several different colors, due to the sight of what awaits him.
"It's YOU!" He spits out these words with great force!
Looking at him in the eyes, a fiery-eyed youth with blue spikey hair in sweatpants, a t-shirt, and tennis shoes sits like a king. An evil grin spread across his lips.
"Indeed, it is I, Sebastian Bard!"
Staring at not even twenty-year-old Sebastian, the older man's jaw dropped. A steely gaze overtook his visage as he grabbed at Sebastian.
"What the heck are you doing here cackling to yourself in the dark? I nearly soiled my pants. What's wrong with you, kid?!"
Sebastian deftly dodged the attempt to grab him and slipped out of his chair like a loach appearing behind the older man.
"I'm plotting, of course! I bet you never thought it would be me!" Sebastian laughed triumphantly.
The older man turned to look at the newly hired janitor, Sebastian. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he witnessed something on the monitor.
Ignoring Sebastian, he looked carefully at the monitor in shock.
"You wrote this?" he asked as his hands began to shake once more.
"Of course, who else but I could create such a masterpiece. However, now that you know, how should we deal with the situation?" Sebastian responded casually with a hint of threat.
"You wrote this...masterpiece?" The older man repeated.
"Yes," he responded. Sebastian was pleased with the reaction he received from the older man.
"Dear X, My name is Sebastian Bard. I like you, would you be my girlfriend? Click yes or no." The older man's voice trembled.
"This is your masterpiece, unmatched genius in history? I almost soiled myself over something a third-grader with a crush could write?!
I'm going to beat you until your mother can't recognize you!" The rage-induced older man said as he raised his billy club.
"First, nightguard Henry McHenry, the fact you do not see the genius of my creation is evident by your comparison of it to something produced by a third-grader.
Didn't you notice that you can click on the words yes and no? From there, a message is sent to my phone. Thus, I will know the answer to the question the instant it is replied to.
Everyone knows that third-graders only write love letters using crayons, pencils, and other primitive communication tools. But who can blame them? They are, after all, third-graders.
Second, did you notice I left the name as a variable? This means as soon as I know a girl's name, I can replace the variable with her name.
I can use this letter an infinite number of times. I have even attached a database to this app so that if I meet a girl with a name I have already used, I don't have to rewrite the message.
I can select the name from a list. Ha, let's see a third-grader do that? That is unmatched genius!
Finally, my mother can't recognize me now because she is dead. So I am an orphan, sir! How dare you bring up such painful memories for me.
Do you think I'm working here because I want to? I received a scholarship to the Military Academy, but it doesn't include housing or food.
You should be ashamed at mocking such a hardworking student!" Sebastian said excitedly with passion.
The Museum's guard, Henry McHenry, looked back at the young man sheepishly.
"I'm sorry, kid, I didn't know you were an orphan.
There are a lot of orphans these days with the war and the dangerous explorations into deep space." Henry sidled up to Sebastian and put his arm around him like a big brother.
"Let this old man give you some advice. In my younger days, I was known as the swordless lady killer.
How many young maidens fell in love with me and swooned at my handsomeness? Who knows, it's probably impossible to count that high; I know I can't.
Girls don't like getting love letters electronically and anonymously. They want to see the courage of their suitor. So, young man, you must be bold when pursuing women!" Henry said.
Contemplating his senior for a moment, Sebastian looked at the older man and nodded gratefully.
"Do not worry, senior, I have already considered this point. When I present these girlfriend requests, I will stand directly in front of the girl and wait for her response to my phone.
How can she not be impressed by my boldness? It is impossible!" Standing straight and posing as if a great military leader standing for his portrait; Sebastian looked very smug.
"That's not bold; that's just weird. Why don't you ask the girl directly if she's already standing in front of you?" he asked.
"Senior, it's been a great many years since you killed the ladies without a sword. Things are different these days. Everything is done electronically.
Why do things face to face when it can be done through a device?
Ha, doesn't your view undermine the very spirit of the modern era we live in? Every experience is best second-hand. It is only through the electronic stand-ins that we engage the world to its fullest.
Even using mechs in battle. This is the most significant evidence of what I am saying.
Which girl would take me seriously if I asked her to be my girlfriend without the use of electronics?
No, senior, this is a great mistake. There are particular formulas and etiquette that must be followed when courting a young lady.
The random snorts and displays of physical animal abilities are the savageries of past generations.
In the modern era, only by demonstrating our capabilities in the virtual world can we fully display our manliness.
As you can see, I have considered everything," Sebastion finished with his monologue.
The Museum guard, Henry McHenry, hung his head in sadness and felt helpless toward the future.
"Your sentiments do seem in keeping with the times. But, can human beings survive with such an attitude?"
"Do not worry, senior, not only will we survive, but we will thrive. Our technology is the key to the future. We must treat it as no different than our lungs, arms, or even brain.
We must make it part of us in every way possible.
If not for your advanced age, I never would have bothered having this discussion with words face-to-face as we do now. Instead, I would have sent you several video messages.
However, I understand how difficult this new era must be for you." Sebastian displayed his pity for the older man.
Once more, the colors on Henry McHenry's face went through many hues, saturations, and values. Then, at last, he shrugged his shoulders and left the old mech control room.
Sebastian's eyes shone in the dark. Checking the monitor, he made sure the nightguard was gone.
"Now that I have with you, Henry McHenry, you must believe I'm an idiot. But that is not the case. My mind hatches the best plots and one is underway now. It's time to get back to work!"
Sebastian placed his hand on the computer.
"Alright, computer, now for my real purpose, I want you to show me where they've hidden it. Where is the first mech, Prathama Jamkajamaka!
