A Dark Past

My eyes were glued to my laptop screen for almost an hour, looking at the pictures of one person. Every time my eyes roved his toned torso, his abs, his v-shaped waist and especially his mesmerizing eyes, I couldn't help but drool. I could stay here forever if I could. But how did I fall into this obsession? This guy is way out of my league and someone that I shouldn't even dream of having.

Suddenly, my alarm clock beeped and it snapped me out of my daydreaming. Glancing at the clock, it said 6am! "No shit!" I jumped out of my chair and dashed to the bathroom. It was late again because I had been lost in staring at his photos again. Why me? Am I losing it?

After showering, I came back to the room only to find Greg hi - my roommate - yawning too. "Morning Kel," he muttered as he rubbed his eyes sleepily. "Morning Greg," I replied with a smile. But then he uttered a shock expression that caught me off guard - "No way!" He was looking at my laptop direction and it suddenly hit me - Drake! The world famous celebrity.

Greg squealed -"Is that Drake?! Wow he looks better than ever! Why do you have him on your computer?" That's when I knew why this was what worth hiding from him in the first place! He was already going berserk about Drake and as predicted, it already happened.

"Not really," I stuttered awkwardly trying not to give him any suspicious clues, "I stumbled upon his photos last night." He still didn't believe me so he asked again - "Never say never! Why don't you write about him in our little company? We might get an opportunity for an exclusive interview!"

I shook my head in disbelief - this is why I never wanted him to see the laptop screen in the first place! Rolling my eyes again, "Greg if you really want to do research on him then make use of your own computer...you know his name don't you?" With a confused look he replied -"Yes but who is 'Drake' again?" Come on man! With a sigh of frustration, "Arnold," I muttered lazily and he immediately lit up with excitement and rushed off to his room to start researching him.

I breathed a deep sigh of relief and grabbed my computer from the bed.

"Let's get you in the room, little Greg," I joked as I lugged my laptop into my own.

I peered into the mirror and unwrapped the towel from around my waist. Seeing myself for who I truly was filled me with a rush of emotion. Closing my eyes, flashbacks of painful times came flooding in.

Flashback

"You can't be my son!" My father roared, his eyes wild with rage. His displeasure of me was written clearly across his face. "I can't believe you gave birth to this disgrace and call it our son!" He continued, spittle flying from his lips as he spoke.

My mother had managed to keep me hidden up until then, but that day was when we were abandoned. For someone like my dad who'd always wanted a boy, giving life to me was simply too disgraceful a notion to bear. As I was growing up, mom made sure no one would ever see any nakedness on me, she even bathed me personally until I was ten years old.

She begged the nurse who attended her during childbirth to keep it all a secret from dad and thankfully she kept her promise...but nothing stays hidden forever; That fateful night dad walked in on me totally nude - he had wanted to show me the new computer he'd bought for me but when he saw what he saw - there was terror on his face; "W.. what are you? Why do you have that?!", I pleaded but all the words were stuck in my throat. Mom rushed into the room at his screams; "Is this what you gave birth to? Winnie?!" She fell down on her knees crying and begging him; "Blame me not him please", she sobbed as tears streamed down her face - "Son? Look at it closely - I can't even call him a man!" Those words cut like hundreds of sharp knives through my soul...

Flashback ends

My eyes opened and gazed once more into the mirror, seeing how red and swollen they'd become from tears shed during thinking about that time in our lives.. Ten years have gone since then yet sometimes it still feels like yesterday.

Good thing I still have my mom by my side, else I don't know what I'd do without her in my life. Maybe I might have committed suicide a long time ago. I've read stories about weird kids in the past. If I were to be seen as a peculiar kid, coupled with the hate I got from my dad when he found out about who I was, I'm sure I would have died a long time ago.

Thank God for my mom, who has helped me with keeping this secret for years now. What would have become of me now? I'm not sure if I'd have been able to live a normal life up to this point in my life. I'm just grateful for all that I've been given.

I have to sleep now because I've got work to attend to. I hopped on my bed, wrapped myself up with my bed cover and went to sleep.

I woke up to the buzzing of my phone. What the hell, I was supposed to be having a good sleep. Who the hell was that? With my eyes closed, I romanced my bed searching for my phone, until I found it under my pillow.

Without checking who it was, I clicked on my answer button by instinct and placed the phone to my ear.

"Hello, who's this?"

"Wakei, wakei, it's morning…." If I'm not mistaken, this must be Monica.

"Hey."

"Kel, why do you sound so rough? Don't tell me you're still in bed!"

"I am," I replied.

"Goodness! Did you and Greg go to the club last night?"

"Huh? What club?" I blinked, trying to recall what happened last night. There was nothing of the sort.

"Anyway, it's 9'AM and I thought I should call to know what's going on. "

"What! It's 9: am." I instantly jolted out of bed and headed to the bathroom.