1.2. Start the Entrance Examination with a Bang

"Bakit parang lahat may kape?" I snapped out of daze once again due to a certain attention seeker. I gave him a glance and saw his panic-stricken expression—he's moving his eyes from me to the other students present. "Kailangan ba 'yan para makapasa sa exam? Naku! Saan ba makakabili ng kape. Teka—magkano kaya isang cup? Hindi ako puwedeng gumastos, pandagdag pa sa maintenance ni nanay 'to—"

"Stop." I took the initiative to make him halt his mouth from saying another word and glad he did.

But boii, I swear, I thought I met my doom when I saw how his face resembled the kitten the dear Money God happened to pick up from the street.

"They got it free from a senior who owns a coffee shop inside the school." Before I even got the chance to be deceived by this attention seeker's puppy face, another voice popped out of nowhere. I turned to my side and saw him place a plastic bag at the chair beside me.

He has a decent hair color unlike someone but the body—NO.

Isang pitik ko lang yata sa kanya ay tutumba na siya. Tapos kapag sa electric fan naman, liliparin na siya kapag nasa number 3.

Tingting.

"But I already bought a snack outside the school so I gave my share to the kitty I saw loitering around—"

"YOU GAVE A CAT, A CAFFEINE?" I realized that I freaked out too much. Calm down, Yakob. It's just a cat— "Are you trying to murder it?!"

"Kitties do not like caffeine?" he asked innocently.

"Will you want something that can kill you?"

"Oh no!"

Pink-boii softened at the teary-eyed sight of the guy. He patted his head and muttered some words of consolation however the latter still looks like he's on the verge of crying.

He's short and scrawny and acts like a muddle-headed child that I am doubting whether he really falls under the age of 15 to 18 (it's the age requirement to apply for the entrance examination for this school).

"I—killed a cat. I can't kill a cat. Bubbles love animals," he wailed and that actually disturbed the other exam takers.

His mom panicked, with a sorry face, he started soothing the guy. "Hala! Hindi naman mamamatay 'yung pusa. Magkakasakit lang."

I rolled my eyes. "How does it differ? Cat-murderer."

"Huwag mo ngang paiyakin 'yung bata!" His mum scolded me giving me a harsh glare. Does he even realize that the guy might be older than him or just 2 years younger only? To actually call him bata. "Isang tasa lang naman 'yung napainom niya, hindi pa mamamatay 'yun!"

"Hanapin mo na lang ulit mamaya 'yung pusa tapos dalhin mo sa vet para matignan."

"C-can you go with me later?" the child asked blinking his eyes twice. His mum wanted to say something but he choked back the words he's about to say and just smiled while nodding.

I shook my head then drifted my gaze back to my notebook. I tried squeezing out any memories from my brain yet failed. The memory of cappuccino still lingers as if telling me, remember me first.

What should I remember?

The reason I bought a cappuccino?

The person who made me bought the coffee?

The justification of my action (splashing a coffee).

The location of the coffee shop!

Maybe those people back then still have some recollection of that incident.

I can ask them!

But where's that shop?

Error. Cannot access information.

Great. Maybe it was on the other side of the forest and only the chosen heir can open the portal—

NO—

"Huy! Nandyan na 'yung proctor."

For the third time, I was snapped out of trance because of the guy's mum (again). I scowled at him and clicked my tongue. A middle-aged woman in a gray corporate attire entered the room and settled at the front where the table lies. After she settled down, two girls entered the room, each holding a box.

The examinees quietened down as they donned themselves the best posture they can show. My eyes gazed towards the child at my left, he's fiddling a pen on his fingers like the whole matter at hand doesn't deserve his attention. Drifting my watch at his mum, he, as I expected, was the most enthusiastic. He stares intently at the proctor-ma'am as if every movement of her contains the answer for his life-changing exam.

Proctor-ma'am switched on the big screen in front and the four speakers surrounding the hall. The logo of Alphaelia was shown while her voice was broadcasted.

The room's huge enough to accommodate a hundred or so examinees. It is also well equipped with electronics just by looking at the door which needs an electronic identification to operate.

"I assume everyone has read the rules and regulations during the examination." The proctor started her speech. "I'm Professor Abegail M. Yorong and you should call me Professor Abby."

"Place any electronic devices you have at your desk because we have this strictly no gadgets allowed."

After the proctor-ma'am have spoken, the girls made their way at each seat to collect the gadgets. I, too, put it down and did not bother putting in aero mode. No one's gonna contact me anyway.

"Wala kang cellphone?" I glanced at the voice I heard. She was talking to pink-haired and I can assure her, that's the worst decision she made.

"Meron naman, kaya lang hindi ko dala. Pinahiram ko kasi sa kapatid ko, nasira kasi 'yung cellphone niya, hindi na gumagana 'yung battery. Wala rin kaming pambili at mas kailangan niya kasi pdf-based 'yung module nila. Wala rin namang tatawag o magte-text sa'kin at kung email naman, pwede akong sumaglit sa piso net malapit sa'min. Isa pa, nabasa ko ring hindi pwedeng magdala ng-"

He hadn't finished talking when I kicked his chair to do everyone a favor.

"You could have just answered no, you don't," I scolded him.

He smiled shyly and apologized to the girl who in return did not even glance at him but to me and muttered some thanks. I handed her my phone without much trouble and when it's Bubbles turn, I felt my mouth twitched more than twice.

"That's worth hundreds of thousands," he said handing a black watch—I didn't notice it earlier— and the girl accepted it fawningly. But Bubbles–dude just have to say, "I don't have a phone but careful, auntie, it's more than expensive than what you're wearing in total."

I saw how the girl's fawning expression crumbled bit by bit. Bubbles smiled at her innocently as if what he said doesn't mean any harm. The girl immediately proceeded to the next seat as if only by getting out of our circle can she erase the embarrassment.

Proctor-ma'am blabber for some time before making us keep away the free coffees and anything that can distract us. She checked the attendance and there's this one lass who wants to give up her opportunity to change her life. Proctor-ma'am waited for her for a minute but no one came. The examinees were already anxious to start the examination while I'm busy keeping myself sane.

I wonder if my mind would black out the moment the questionnaire's in my hand already.

• • •MASTERMINDS• • •

9:40 am.

Examination Room.

Gut-feeling was said to be classified as a sixth sense. My guts told me that I shouldn't just waste my time answering the questions which even I don't know the answers. But can an amnesiac person trust his instinct?

I felt useless for no apparent reason and ashamed for the one who created the questions.

After ensuring that the room was locked and everyone is on their respective seats already (arranged alphabetically), she distributed a notebook. At exactly 9 o'clock, we opened the gadgets and viola—answered as fast as we can.

We only have two hours to answer a hundred questions for each 5 categories.

But what made me think that Alphaelia was bluffing their "Home for Geniuses" tagline are the questions that appeared.

Now that there are pulverized dolomite in Manila Bay which was said is good for our mental health, shouldn't we stop the psychology program and let those psychiatrists, psychologists and psychometricians resign and work as miners?

They should learn how to become dolomite.

Do you think people have the right to complain about our government?

They do if they didn't sell their votes.

Kung may sampung baka, tumalon ang dalawa, ilan na lang ang baka?

Technically, cows can't jump.

Is the Philippines' justice faster than its internet connection?

Spurting of the pervert's cum.

What do you think will happen to your country if you, one day, lead it?

It will reach greatness.

How powerful is the media?

Not as powerful as money.

To pass the examination, what is Professor Abby's greatest asset?

I scanned the rubbish questions and wilfully answered some. Hindi ko alam kung sadya ba ang mga tanong na 'to o may isang walang magawa sa buhay kaya napag-trip-an ang unit na gamit ko. Pero kung ano pa man, he did a good job because I don't really feel like enrolling here. There's something about my guts telling me not to involve myself with this school.

I arrived at the last one and as a fella born to criticize other's, I glanced at the proctor-ma'am who's busy staring at us.

So. . . what is proctor-ma'am's greatest asset?

Chin.

Medyo mahaba 'yung baba niya. Kung isa ring mapanlait na nilalang ang may pakana ng mga tanong na 'to, malamang baba nga ang sagot.

I typed my answer and viola— it's wrong. It says I should phrase it more creatively so I did.

Beautifully pointed chin: a great self defense tool or Mango-shaped face

I entered my answer and viola—

Congratulations! Thank you for taking the entrance exam for villainy.

Please enjoy our surprise in 3 2 1. . .

Bang!

The lights went off and only the little light from our screen and the big screen illuminated the room. But several seconds just passed and another commotion started.

"Professor Abby, I think there's a system error in mine."

"Mine too, Professor Abby."

"Professor Abby, namatay po 'yung akin."

"Sa akin rin po."

"A lot of nonsensical questions keep on popping."

"Oh my God! Why is my picture with my ex here?"

"Hala! Nasira ko yata 'yung laptop. Paano na 'yan? wala akong pera pambili ng kapalit nito."

"Mum, I'll pay for it."

Loads of complaint bombarded proctor-ma'am. It was all about the unit they were using and how it was malfunctioning and some even releasing private information. However, I think my unit is just fine—except of course for that congratulatory greetings.

"Calm down, kids. Kokontakin ko lang ang system."

Proctor-ma'am was just about to use her phone when a deafening sound was heard through the speakers and that made us cover our ears cause mind you, it was bloody awful that I thought my eardrums were going to explode. Glad it was only for several seconds.

The big-screen glitched. The timer was gone and was replaced by an image of—candies, ice creams, chocolates and unicorns?

Oh boii, Teletubbies are attacking us.

Evil yet fucking adorable. Gross.

"Ano? Anong hindi mo alam? Ikaw ang nag-abot sa'kin ng mga netbook kanina. The audio speaker and the screen too. Yes! Every single gadget–hello? Hello? HELLO?!"

Proctor-ma'am's voice echoed around the four walls of the room which made the students who were panicking and cursing at their assigned netbook (probably because they got the ones which releases personal information or they are distress about failing to take the examination) shut their mouth.

And that moment of silence came to end when the screen glitched again for the second time and then flashed a footage of a silhouette of a man with a crown sitting like a king watching the peasants.

"Hey there bloody twats. Love our gift? Amazing, innit?"

Though the room was dark, the obvious gasp of the students and allowed me to pinpoint their emotions. But. . . why are they so frightened and shocked? 

"British english with 3 different accents. Cool!" Bubbles commented on the side. This guy's train of thoughts is hard to follow.

But no—hindi 'yan ang kagulat-gulat.

"Ayun! Naalala ko na! Kaboses niya 'yung President ng Alphaelia!" Bubbles' mum got his enlightenment and of course me too.

Kaboses ang president ng Alphaelia.

Pakulo ng Alphaelia.

Impossible.

Hindi nila isasama sa tanong kanina 'yung tungkol sa staff nila. But I don't know what questions did the others get.

"Whoever you are, stop pulling this prank. I've notified the security and you'll be traced in a minute—"

Proctor-ma'am was cut off by a mocking laugh. It was the guy at the screen and with a hint of mockery said,

"Professor Abegail, Trace you said? I've been playing with your best team of ITs for almost an hour and yet they haven't realized I'm wrecking havoc until you reported it. Tell me, can they really trace me? Am I saying that they are useless? Is your husband useless, Professor Abegail M. Yorong?"

"That's five now."

"Ang galing niyang mag-hack!" Bubbles' mum exclaimed and as if it wasn't enough to praise the mastermind, he also clapped his hands earning a glare from the others.

"Talented."

I know it wasn't the right thing to say because really—we're technically a hostage.

"But you need not to praise me about those trivial things. Easy peasy, peasants."

Arrogant.

Kulang sa aruga.

"And by the way, candies are free after this oh? yes, yes, chocolates too. But you first need to get out of that room to avail the promo. And when I said get out, you need to literally cause in 3, 2, 1, the doors are closed."

The proctor-ma'am immediately ran towards the door, swiped her identification card but no—it didn't accept her card. She tried entering the password but the repetitive sound of error was the only thing that answers her.

"Professor Abby, you don't have the ability to open that door. Even the team of your dear husband will not be able to defeat my team, valade zenaa. Alas, you have an hour and a half to figure out what to do. Clues are everywhere!"

The screen went back to normal but the peace and order of the people present didn't. Everyone started to complain, panic and get irritated.

Everything went chaotic.

"Professor Abby, what's the meaning of this?"

"Prank po ba ito? Kasama po ba 'to sa exam?"

"My dad's  a senator. I should call him—fuck! Why did you even confiscate our phones?"

"I want a lawyer! This is. . . this is. . . I'm gonna sue this piece of shit. No— no— not my photos."

"Ano nang gagawin natin?" I heard pink-haired asked.

"Don't be scared, mum."

"Calm your assess cause they can't possibly—" Before I even got the chance to complete my preach a footage of a girl appeared on the screen. Nakabitin siya patiwarik habang nag-aabang sa kanya ang isang aquarium na puno ng—piranha? My forehead twitched and with a low laugh, mumbled, "And I'm mistaken."

"Looks like funerals are going to take a huge fortune out of our parents."

The image of the silhoutte came back. He flicked his fingers and as if on cue, a mist suddenly started to shroud the screen.

"Cover your nose!" someone shouted near me and I instinctively followed the order.

And the last thing I knew, everyone was enveloped by the gas.

• • •MASTERMINDS• • •