AmpJ789
AWSOME Story! I hope you can continue, though may I give a suggestion? Try to include more character building. you have tons of fight scenes and decent amount of world building but not enough character building. With this being a fanfic and with a completely different version of ben with some thing similar I think you should add some things to show how different they are. Another thing, With bens upgrades aliens maybe you should add more detail about how they now look when he brings them out and also make the fights for minor and some major villains easier! The last thing is more of a question. will we have Incest? and will we have multiple lovers?(Just 2 - 3 at most)P.S will their be romance?
it started out good but went downhill soon after, confusing development and the mc aint showing how smart he is or how he controls the the world now, he did not fully unleashed the omnitrix potential and was beaten by his enemies easily, he should be near unstoppable for being a transmigrator and knowing the ben 10 universe
The history is amazing, your grammar, not so much. You don't tell us what is happening like: Ben took a shower and told Max he would stay in his lab. No, you should use quotes "" dialogue to tell your readers what is happening like. Ben walked towards the bathroom and opened the door, before entering he turned his head towards his grandpa and said. "Hey grandpa, I'll stay in my lab for the rest of the day after taking a shower." Not only that but you constantly stick words together. And lastly, you change the Pov too much Don't use YOU to refer to a character, I'm not Kevin, I'm not Ben, I'm a reader, stick using. Resuming everything, your history is honestly incredible but the grammar puts much of that down.
Author needs to fix the random first person second person third person pov, you start with I, then go your then go Ben... the intro starts out nice smart athletic mc.. then he made a company with grandpa max and become rich... but stuck to Canon cause he's afraid of the butterfly effect? Should've skipped those if you were sticking to Canon and just described the minor changes he made...