1 When, Where, When, How...

Staring out the window with my eyes clouded with tears, inhaling as hard as I can to keep them from trickling down my cheek, but the wind is blowing against me, and I'm forced to blink, and the teardrops come down one after the other with no sign of stopping. My stomach clenches, attempting to contain the emotions that have long been hidden within it, but it hurts. It hurts so much that I want to scream my feelings and break free from the invisible bonds, but my mind intervenes and wonders.

[Why are you crying, why are you hurting, they are just words, he's just one of many you've loved, it's not the first time, and it won't be the last, so why cry?]

I inhale, telling my body that you've been enduring for this long, and now is not the time to give up. My tears slowly stop, then comes the headache from fighting against my body, which I welcome wholeheartedly in the hopes that it will numb the rest of the emotions I've bottled up, and it certainly does. I let out a grin as I'm finally in control, I dry my face and look away from the window, and I begin to look back in my memory for when, where, why, and how things became like this. My thoughts spiral closer to my answer, but my headache prevents me from seeing it as I slowly close my eyes and fall asleep to a dream I can't remember.

I slowly open my eyes to the soft call of my name, but it's too bright, so I close them and try again, but this time the call of my name turns into yells, and my body subconsciously jerks upwards with my eyes wide open. I squinted, searching mindlessly for who had called. I'm told to get out of the car because it appears we've arrived at our destination. I woke my sleepy body and massaged my heavy eyes before stepping out of the car- the sun shone down on me, and I felt dizzy and unbalanced. As I close the door gently, I reach out my hand and support myself with the car.

"WOULD YOU MOVE IDIOT, you're wasting time," he says, and I wonder if he didn't realize I had just woken up, but I didn't question it and moved quickly towards the stairs. To avoid being yelled at, I drag my legs up the stairs as fast as I could. I walked into the house, and my body felt like it wanted to collapse to the ground, and the lit-up room felt dark and hot. I blinked incessantly and walked into the kitchen to wash my hands and get a bottle of water to hydrate.

I walked to my room and fell on my bed to rest my body and slowly drifted off.