The Shower of Destiny.

A stomach was growling, freaking out would have to wait and planning too, a problem of far greater importance was rearing its ugly head, the problem of food. Glancing at the pizza boxes with a grimace I half-heartedly strode over to the fridge, clapping my hands together in prayer for a well-stocked fridge. The fridge door slid open and a noxious odor assaulted my sense, with a gag, gasp and retch I immediately closed it. This fridge was going to court in a hell basket for its crimes against nasal integrity, an addendum to my earlier thoughts came quickly the plan had begun, step 1. incinerate fridge.

With no foreseeable food in my immediate future, I whined and complained to the dust devils lurking in the corners of the room, trotting with no apparent direction as I cursed a stream of unintelligible words. My stomach protested again and I reoriented on the task, no food in the fridge time to find this guy's, correction my wallet. I darted into the bedroom and began peeling the clothes off the floor, flinging them into a corner as I checked their pockets. Within moments I had found the cheeky blighter and held it over my head as the treasure it was. The triumphant and dramatic encore never came, the wallet turned out to be just as dismal, a single 20 dollar bill which fell out and gently floated on the breeze.

A 20 dollar bill was salvation and damnation in two beats, the debit cards were, of course, next to useless, no pin code meant no easy access to a supposed account with tons of money, sarcasm at that last point. Keys, key were next on the list, this apartment was his base of operations and he was damned sure he wasn't going to leave it until seeking better fortunes elsewhere, luckily a glint of metal on the dresser and a moment later I held those keys to my kingdom. A sour smell, alerted me to another chink in my overall plan to get food, a second sniff later at my clothes and I recognized the issue, I reeked.

Leaving the keys on the dresser and the wallet with its hoard of money, again sarcasm, I opened the draws finding a t-shirt and jeans laying them next to said wallet and keys. Leaving the bedroom I went to the only place that had a shower, the bathroom. Luck was on my side, the prior bastard had left a dry and seemingly unused towel, the shower, however, was hell itself. It's base held stained yellow circles and the grout was discolored with mould and other unmentionable bacteria. Recoiling from the sight I thought back to the moment of the couch upgrade incident and smiled, mentally calling out upgrade.

The shower transformed before my eyes, the mould shifted from in between the tiles sliding down onto the base where it mixed with stains and slowly drew them into a hateful reeking ball of liquid sludge. The tiles were gleaming white, and the base had that almost pearly white sheen that was shown in cleaning ads. I turned the shower tap and for a moment dark dirty water streamed out, the shower head clogging for a moment as it seemed the last vestiges of grime that had built up over the years left the shower head and sprayed the bottom of the base ridding the shower of the evil sludge ball that had formed sliding down the drain where it's kind should dwell. Accompanying the transformation was a wave of exhaustion which slammed into me like a stampede of rhinoceroses and another a pane of information announcing the newfound status of the shower.

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Shower + 1

Durability: 40/40

Information: Some say that the shower of destiny can appear at any moment. This shower is always full of destiny, it can clear blockages in the skin making said skin smooth. Greasy greasy untamable hair? Made Silky smooth in an instant, but that's not all, for more information please contact your nearest divine plumbing specialist.

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Chuckling at the new status I undressed and stepped into the shower, the water hit me in blessed waves of perfectly controlled heat. After a few minutes of showering I began to notices changes, my skin felt clean and smooth, and my hair which before was greasy and oily become silky smooth ringlets of brown. The odor of Man'Della'Stunk was gone, replaced with the faint perfume of soap. The shower seemed to have a rejuvenating effect, as the flagging energy and exhaustion seemed to melt away along with several other numerous aches and pains I didn't know had existed. Exiting the shower, I grinned and took the towel and began to dry myself off, a banquet awaits it is time to eat. I quickly pulled on jeans and a t-shirt over a slightly tubby frame, I found socks in the drawer and promptly slid into them onto my feet. Grabbing my keys and a wallet thrusting them into my pockets, it was time to turn on my inner caveman, it was time to hunt for food.