1 New York.

Old Chinese proverb, may you live in interesting times, I never understood why the phrase would be so feared as I always thought boredom was much worse. My dreams were always interesting, where stories played out like strange and wonderful epics, akin to movies they were full of style, glitz, and glamour, and yet this dream was relatively ordinary. My queen size bed had shrunk to a single bed, it was full of lumps and I felt rather uncomfortable. Groaning I lifted my legs slightly outward to find the edge of the bed and misjudging its position I instead rolled out and fell to the floor with a grunt. I winced in pain as it began shooting up my leg, 'Ok so this isn't a dream', with a rising curiosity which stifled panic I felt I crawled to my feet and began examining the small bedroom I had found myself in. It was plain and rather untidy, clothes were strewn across the floor, a plain dresser lay at the end of the bed, the pillow on the bed was coated in a dark red substance that had dried over, taking a sniff I smelled the metallic scent of blood.

Keeping my thoughts distant I shook my head a little frazzled and moved to the door pushed it open to a room that combined a small kitchen with a living and dining space. Pizza and half finished noodle boxes were scatted across a stained sofa and much of the floor in front of it. A small space was cleared in front of a large flat screen tv in an effort to seemingly keep it clean, dirty dishs had filled the sink and with plates scattered across much of kitchen benches surface, the dining table was half covered in papers with dirty plates acting as paperweights. In stark contrast to the mess, the other half of the dining room table was cleared of all debris with a lone laptop sitting on its surface and the corner adjacent to the dining room table held a filing cabinet and bookcase which lay untouched coated with a thin film of dust. The window next to the bookcase suddenly lit up, and my eyes widened as a fast moving object flew past and I heard what sounded like a man whooping for joy.

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[System Activated.]

[System Function Unlocked: UPGRADE]

[Functionality: Increase and promotes the quality or function of any item user can hold in his hand. Cost of promotion depends on the quality of the material]

[To upgrade, kindly select upgrade via mental or spoken command.]

[System function Unlocked: STATUS]

[Functionality: The user can now examine the observe the information of an item he is touching.]

[To find the status of item, kindly select status via a mental or spoken command.]

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The windows of information that suddenly bombarded my vision shocked me, I suddenly knew how the man outside had felt. An ability to upgrade, how insane is that!? The possibilities endless, an ultimate ability with the only concerns the cost and limitations of said ability. Moving to the couch, I eyed it warily as if it were a snake that could strike at any time and given the stains across its surface it probably could. I sat down mentally cringing, with my hand on the couch I mentally chimed 'status' and another window of information opened.

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Dirty Couch

Durability: 10/25

Information: A comfortable sofa through many years of use has become stained and is probably better off in a dumpster right now.

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Excited i mentally chimed upgrade and slowly the feel of the couch began to change, it became more comfortable and the grime, stains began to flow forming a dark stinky sludge that slid off the couch and onto the ground. Mentally chiming status again I discovered a few changes...

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Couch + 1

Durability: 25/25

Information: A sofa which your arse will thank you for, not stylish but who needs style when you have substance.

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A broad smile lifted my cheeks upward as I felt a wave of exhaustion hit me, and promptly fell asleep on the couch unaware of the events that were happening in the city. The next day I woke up quite late in the afternoon and fished around for a remote turning the tv onto a pivotal moment I would later come to regret finding out. Turning on the tv, a press conference greeted me with a man sitting down close to the journalists bearing a striking resemblance to Robert Downey Jr. and gave the famous speech ending in the words "I am Iron man".

I was in the Marvel universe, Shit.