13 Christmas part I

*CRACK* Colleen perked up grabbing the katana, *CRACK* *BANG* the door flew off its hinges. Three masked men came in aiming automatic rifles at Colleen. Andrew remained still and did not react.

"PUT YOUR MOTHERF**KING HANDS UP!" One of the men shouted.

Colleen stayed completely still, Andrew remained frozen.

"HEY WAKE HIS ASS UP!"

"Wake up Andrew!" Colleen prodded Andrew with the katana.

*clap* *clap* *clap* "I have to admit, you cleaned this place up nicely Colleen." Buffer said slowly walking in.

Andrew threw the parka off, showing his wolf armour.

"Did he just slow clap himself in? What kind of pretentious poofta does that?

"That's what woke you up?" Colleen said annoyed.

"I was awake, I heard you grab the katana, thought you had it."

"I can't dodge bullets from a sitting position."

"Will you tell me the extent of what Chi can do already?"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP! I want the money you stole from me."

"Well, we don't have it; I paid for all of this from tricking..." Andrew said.

"From tricking me?" Turk said walking in slowly.

"See that's how you do a walk in and yes."

"Where's the weapon?" Turk asked, flashing his pistol holstered in his pants.

"So you want his magical weapon, and you want the money he stole, and lost. Is that what this is all about?" Colleen asked.

"Give us what we want, and I'll let you two go back to f**king." Turk yelled.

"WHAT! We're not f**king!" Colleen became flustered.

"She's not open about our relationship."

*SMACK* Colleen slapping the back of Andrew's head.

"Don't listen to him. Now you f**kers are gonna get out of my apartment, and stop ruining Christmas." Colleen said grabbing the hilt of the katana.

"Colleen, don't be stupid, just give us what we want." Buffer said aiming his pistol.

Colleen grasped Andrew necks, picking him up like a piece of paper, his eyes widen in shock and terror.

"Colleen?"

She began running towards the gunmen. *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* the gun fire echoed and rung out through the streets. The wolf armour absorbing all the bullets, as Colleen got into range, she hurled Andrew at Buffer. *SCHING* with one swift motion, she cut all the rifles in half, knocking all of them over and placing the blade at Turk's throat. The gunmen scurried away leaving Buffer and Turk.

"You have three seconds to tell me why, I shouldn't slit your throat open right now."

"Wha...wha...What do you want? Money? Weapons? Bitches? I can get you bitches." Turk pleaded.

"Why on Earth would I need bitches? I want what I sold you years ago, there was a black katana with this white one. Do you remember it?"

Andrew got off Buffer's unconscious body.

"DID YOU JUST USE ME AS A HUMAN SHIELD?"

"You had the armour on."

"What if those bullets could pierce the armour?"

"It's a good thing they didn't."

Andrew threw his hands up in disbelief and shock.

"Now, you're gonna go get that katana back for me otherwise, I'm gonna cut up Buffer there and feed him to you.

"I sold it, a long time ago..." Turk said raising hands up.

"To who?"

"I..I.I don't remember, it was an Asian guy, that's all I remember."

Colleen sheathed the katana, visibly annoyed and placed it on the ground; she walked over to Buffer's body, dragging him to the stairs. Luke and Misty came running down.

"We heard shooting is everyone ok?" Luke asked.

"Yeah, we're fine." Colleen said.

"What the f**k happened to the door?" Misty yelled.

"That's what you're worried about? You just heard rifles go off." Andrew exclaimed.

"She said you were fine, now what the hell are you gonna do about the damages."

"We didn't do anything; they're the ones who came in guns blazing." Andrew said.

Turk seeing everyone distracted reached for his pistol. Misty reacted quickly grabbing Luke's head with her right arm, the sound of gears whirled as she raised him up as a shield. Colleen jumped out of the way as several shots rapidly went off. Andrew quickly drew the katana out and held against Turk's throat, he looked at Andrew absolutely puzzled and confused. Misty dropped Luke to the floor.

"Drop the gun!" Andrew ordered.

"N*gga, you can open that thing?"

"Yes I can."

"OWwwiee owwwie owwww.EUGHHH it hurts. I can't breathe." Luke said rolling on the floor clutching his torso.

"You're fine, your skin is unbreakable remember." Misty said walking over his body.

"My vital organs!" Luke groaned in pain.

"Is he gonna be okay?" Andrew asked.

"Yeah he'll be fine, the bullets don't penetrate his skin but the force still goes through his body."

"Wow that's like the shittiest version of super strength I've ever heard of." Andrew said.

"It is, now how the f**k we gonna explain this to the S.H.I.E.L.D agents coming?" Misty said looking around the apartment.

"Seriously, how did you open that thing?" Turk asked inspecting the blade at his throat.

"Apparently I fit the criteria for her true hero."

"N*gga what? Hero? The f**k you on about? Only true lov..."

"AH SHUT UP TURK!" Colleen screamed running in, clasping his mouth shut and snatching the katana out of Andrew's hand.

"Not another word out of you."

"Colleen...what does the inscription really say?"

"I told you already, only my true hero can open it. Ha.ha you're my hero remember? Now drop it." Colleen said nervously.

Turk darted his eyes side to side.

"Does that sword say only true love can open the blade?" Andrew asked Turk.

"It says only my true hero can open it. Doesn't it Turk?"

Colleen clasped his mouth even harder, staring deep into his soul, instilling fear. Turk shook his head no.

"See it doesn't, and I mean who are you gonna trust with a Chinese inscription. Me or this guy?"

"Why don't you let him go, before he leaves a puddle." Andrew said.

"I'm going to let you go now, and when I do are you going to say anything else?"

Turk shook his head no slowly. Letting go, her hand was imprinted into his face, he quickly scampered to his feet. There was a pause everyone looked at each other in an uncomfortable silence, suddenly, Andrew pushed Colleen aside. Summoning Mimicry as a shield, Andrew braced for Colleen's charge.

"DOES IT SAY ONLY TRUE LOVE CAN OPEN IT?"

"TURK DON'T SAY A F**KING WORD!" Colleen shouted, pushing Andrew hard enough to send him flying across the room.

"YES IT DOES!" Turk yelled running down the stairs.

"That motherf**ker, I'm going to...." Colleen said chasing him to the banister.

"Ahahahah....." Andrew let out a sinister laugh.

"No it doesn't say that!" She said with her cheeks turning red.

"Huehuehuehue. So...." Andrew gave her a smug smile.

"Don't think I won't punch you on Christmas."

"Would you really hurt me, my love?"

Colleen dropped her head in defeat letting out a deep sigh. She marched towards Andrew, his armour disappearing.

"Huh, it disappeared so fast this time. AHHHH OH GOD!" Andrew screamed as Colleen dragged him out by the ear.

"Bitch, where do you think you're going? We got to explain all this shit to the agents." Misty said annoyed.

Colleen reached into the draw grabbing a small stack of cash, shoving it into Misty's chest.

"HERE. You explain everything to them, I need to talk to my 'roommate' in private."

"Ahh, maybe we talk where there are witnesses?" Andrew squirmed trying to free his ear.

Colleen dragged him out, passing by the two agents walking up the stairs, they hesitated to approach her.

"Um...Miss... we... need to..."

Her glare let out an aura of death and pain. The agents stared at Andrew still squirming and writhing in pain, mouthing for help, and they quickly left.

"Uhh, we're here about a shooting that occurred here. Could you tell us what happened here?"

"Ummm, this cracker came in with some men, started shooting up the place, and done f**ked up my property."

"Uh-huh, any ideas to why? And would it be related to the couple we saw leaving?"

"Nope, they were just our clients leaving. Now will you call an ambulance, my husband here needs a hospital"

"He isn't bleeding?"

"I'm dying on the inside, please help me." Luke groaned, reaching his hand out to the agent.

"Ahhhhh. Colleen let go! You're gonna rip it off."

She dragged Andrew to the nearby park tossing him to the ground.

"Listen here, I am not in love with you! Just because this katana..." Colleen declared

"I'm not in love with you either! We just met, less than a month ago." Andrew interrupted, rubbing his ear.

Colleen stood there in silence.

"But... the katana's seal."

"Look, you clearly believe in that katana's seal, but I don't. It's just some stupid vague magic."

"How can you of all people not believe in its seal? You've literally met multiple gods and seen magic!"

"Exactly, I've met so many gods, yet they all exist at the same time. When I die, do I go to Valhalla? Heaven? Get reincarnated as a goat? Enter into a dark empty void that is death? Nothing in this damn world makes sense anymore. I mean shit less than a month ago, the closest interaction I had to a girl was watching twitch streamers."

"So... you're not in love with me?" Colleen shyly asked.

"When you look at me, what do you feel?"

"I...I care for you, but..."

"You see me as your friend. That's okay Colleen, I do to. Wow never thought I would friend zone someone in my life."

"We're friends, and that's what we'll stay as. Deal?" Colleen asked reaching her hand out.

"Deal."Andrew shook her hand. A smile of relief came across her face.

"But then again... I mean, the magic sword says you love me, who are we to fight magic?" Andrew said, unsheathing the katana.

Colleen nudged him in the ribs.

"Eugh...you're an ass."

"Yeah I am, but you love me."

*SMACK* Colleen punched him in the arm.

"Ow! It was only joke, why you heft to be mad?" Andrew said in a high-pitched voice.

Colleen rolled her eyes.

"Come on follow me."

"Where are we going?" Andrew asked rubbing his arm, already starting to bruise.

"To get your Christmas present."

Colleen and Andrew continued to walk deeper into the city, after a while they stood outside a peculiar establishment. It was located deep in a dingy alleyway, of Chinatown, with a heavy duty metal door.

"Alright we're here, this is your present."

"You took me to a 'massage' place? Weird gift to get for someone you're in love with."

"Grrr, it's not one of those place you pervert, it's the real deal."

Andrew stared at Colleen in disbelief and confusion.

"Colleen, this entire place screams, 'we do things to penises'." Andrew exclaimed.

"No it doesn't stop being gross."

"The name of this place is Wang's super happy rocket massage."

"It's a family name, and when you get massaged, it's like you're going to the moon. Now come on lets go."

Andrew shrugged his shoulders and followed her in. They were greeted by a petite Asian woman, wearing a very revealing cheongsam. She spoke with a very sultry and seductive voice.

"Welcome! You look like you need massage."

"Oh come on Colleen!"

"It's not one of those places."

"How long would you like massage to go for?"

"It's just for him, and I want your best treatment."

"Okay! That's $100 and for extra $200 we give him happy ending service."

"SEE, I TOLD YOU!"

Colleen handed her the cash. The receptionist hugged Andrew around his arm dragging him away.

"Again very weird, that you want me to have this...." Andrew said blushing as he was lead into the room.

The room was dimly lit, with scented candles and a rose on the massage table.

"You take off clothes and lay down."

"Hey look, there's no need to the 'happy ending' service, just a regular massage is fine." Andrew said flustered.

The receptionist forcefully started to remove Andrew's clothing, stripping him down to his underwear. Andrew reluctantly lay down on the table, the receptionist glided her fingers gently over his back and ran her fingers through his hair.

"I need you to relax now, massage start after I get you ready." She whispered in his ear.

"Get me ready?"

Suddenly she cuffed his arms and legs to the side of the table, and finally strapped his head down.

"HEY WHAT THE HELL?!" Andrew screamed.

"Okay you ready for massage." She said taking his clothes with her outside.

Closing the door behind her, Andrew began struggling to get free, summoning Mimicry he attempted to break the table. He heard the door open, an Old, decrepit man walked in with a horrific hunch.

"Who's there? Help me get out of these straps."

"Ahh nooooo, strap for your safety.".

"What kind of f**king massage needs the person to be tied down?"

"Good massage, you pay for best service, so uncle will fix your body."

"Hey you let me go now, or I break this table and call S.H.I.E.L.D on this place."

"Just let him do his work Andrew."

"Colleen, what the hell is this?"

Colleen began speaking in mandarin to the old man.

"Give him the best treatment; you don't have to hold back on him, he can take it."

"Ahaha, if you say so, it's cute you're treating your boyfriend so well."

"HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!"

"The f**k are you two talking about?"

"Andrew do you trust me?"

"Right now? No!"

"Well after this massage, I'll teach you everything I can about Chi. But you can't break his table."

"Fine! Just finish this weird ass massage."

The old man began slapping his chest violently, tensing all his muscle. His shirt and sweater exploded off of him, the striations of his muscles, were visible through his bulging muscles.

"The f**k was that noise?"

"Do not worry, Uncle give best massage. When Japan in China, Uncle beat all of them up. I fight ten people with massage in their dojo and walk out with bag of rice."

"THAT'S NOT HOW MASSAGES WORK!" Andrew screamed, struggling to in the restraints.

"You can wait outside; he'll need someone to carry him home later." He said to Colleen.

"What'd did he just say?" Andrew said, the fear creeping in.

"You're gonna be fine Andrew, just remember to not fight back. You'll regret it."

"Whh.. wha ...whats he gonna do to me?"

"HOOOO, DRAGON STRIKE!" The old man shouted, driving his elbow into his lower back.

"ARGHHHHHHH, WHAT IN THE FLYING F**K?"

"You very tense, need to learn how to relax." The old man said, stirring his elbow in deeper.

"YOU JUST GAVE ME THE PEOPLES' ELBOW!"

"No I give you dragon strike, very good for muscle."

"Because you f**king obliterate them!" Andrew said, taking deep breaths.

The 'massage' continued from its first minute.

"HAP! VIPER'S FANGS!" The old man dug his knuckles into Andrew.

Andrew screams pierced out the room.

"HI YAH, TIGER CLAWS!" He mauled Andrew's muscles with a powerful grip that stretched his skin.

Colleen entered the room again, with a glass of water and a straw, feeding it to Andrew.

"Eugh....I....can't....go...on...."

"It's only been five minutes."

"WHAT!"

"HOP! BUDHHA'S HEAVENLY PALM!"

"Buddha's what?"

He began violently slapping him, Andrew coughing out blood.

"ALRIGHT I JUST SPAT OUT BLOOD! YOU CAN STOP NOW!"

"Ahh that's good, you spit out bad blood."

"There is no bad blood, all my blood is meant to be in my body!"

*SLAP* *SLAP* *SLAP* Uncle continued his onslaught.

"JESUS CHRIST!"

"No, this is Buddha's palm. Jesus palm have holes, not good for palming." He said casually, continuing to slap Andrew.

"F**K THIS!" Andrew screamed summoning Mimicry.

However before he even realised, the old man had disarmed Mimicry from Andrew, planting it into the ground.

"What the..."

Suddenly a gigantic, unbearable and searing pain ran throughout his body, he screamed in agony.

"I told you to not fight back, let him do his work. Otherwise that happens."

"WHAT DID HE JUST DO TO ME?!"

"ISSHUN SENGIKU." Colleen said.

"He gave me the raging demon?" Andrew said in a confused agony.

"I'm surprised you understood me." Colleen said.

"Uncle is professional. Would never touch you with his demon, Uncle have wife to do that." He said shocked.

"Alright, look this massage is over, I'll pay you double to actually stop this." Andrew begged, trying to catch his breath.

"Only 40 more minutes and then you feel better." He said with a big smile.

Andrew began sobbing.

"I don't want it anymore."

*35 minutes remaining* "LIGHTNING SHATTERS EARTH!" he shouted on top of Andrew, digging his thumbs into his calves.

"SONOFAB..."

*28 minutes remaining* OX RAMPAGE!" he dug his elbows underneath his shoulder blades.

"C**TFACE*

*10 minutes remaining* Mantis catches prey!" he said giving Andrew the Chinese burn all over.

"Please give me the sweet mercy of death."

"Aiiish, stop being big baby, massage over now."

The massage ended with, Uncle completely drenched in sweat and exhausted. Andrew lay there motionless, his skin completely red and bruised.

"Okay! Uncle is done with massage, you feel better?" He said slapping his back one last time.

"Hey... you okay Andrew?" Colleen hesitantly asked.

"I...I...am... going....to......kill.....you....." Andrew said weakly, before passing out.

"Thank you." Colleen said bowing to Uncle, before giving Andrew a piggyback.

"Before you go, I must see one thing." Uncle said, grabbing Colleen's katana, unable to draw it.

He grabbed Andrew's hand making him grasp the hilt, and with ease the blade slid out of its sheath.

"Not your boyfriend huh."

"He's not, he doesn't love me and I don't love him, the seal is stupid and doesn't mean anything."

"People always lie to themselves, but the heart always knows the truth."

"He said he doesn't, and I don't either, thank you for opening his chakras. We'll be leaving now.

"You should know, six were already open, I couldn't open his 4th. But I know you can." He said with a smile.

Colleen left quickly, carrying Andrew all the way back to the apartment. Andrew awoke on the way back, seeing through a crowd, barely conscious; he saw tiny white fires dancing inside of people. He fell back asleep shortly after. Returning back to the apartment, the door was poorly taped up and the place was littered with bullet holes. She placed Andrew onto the mattress, resting cool water bottles on his back.

"EUGH, MMMM....F***KING!" Andrew screamed in pain trying to get up, unable to move he dropped his head into the mattress.

"Don't try and move your body needs to heal."

"What the f** was the purpose of letting Heihachi doing a 100 hit combo on me? Is it because of the love jokes?"

"I won't lie and say that didn't play a part, but it was to open up your chakras, there are sev..."

"Seven points on the body that dictate the flow of energy in the body."

"You know about chakra?"

"Yeah I watched Avatar: the last airbender. Except Aang wasn't strapped to a table and tenderised." Andrew said still lying face down.

"It honestly, isn't that bad a process. You're making it sound worse than it really is."

"I'm pretty sure 'Uncle' took a steaming dump on the Geneva Convention."

"Well it's over now, and there's just one more gate to open before...."

"No first I'm gonna ask you questions, and you're gonna answer truthfully. Then I'll see if it's even worth learning how to use Chi." Andrew ordered.

Colleen went silent and sat beside Andrew.

"Can you fly with Chi?"

"I have not seen anyone ever do that, but I'm sure it's possible."

"Can you create energy attacks with it?"

"More like gale force wind."

"Can you power yourself up by screaming at the top of your lungs?"

"I...don't think so."

"What's the craziest thing you've seen Chi do?"

"I've seen someone create an attack shaped like a Wolf."

"Alright sold, that's all I needed to know. You can start teaching me tomorrow, good night!"

"It's not even midday yet."

Andrew groaning and screaming with his mouth closed, barely managed to roll onto his side.

"Well, I'm sorry that I want to sleep after... Colleen? Why are you on fire right now?" Andrew asked, seeing Colleen engulfed in a white flame.

"What? I'm not on fire? I mean I am fire." Colleen said in absolute confusion.

"You're literally covered in a white fire."

"You can see that?"

"What exactly am I seeing? I saw the exact same kind of fires, when you carried me back."

"That's my Chi you're seeing, you shouldn't be able to see Chi, with one of your gates closed."

"Maybe it was from my near death experience."

"Again, it wasn't all that bad. Think of it as a deep tissue massage."

"Pretty sure my organs being liquefied by Chinese master Roshi doesn't count as a massage."

"Well, it's over now. Now sit up." Colleen said helping Andrew sit up, he let out a high pitched groan.

"Please be a bit gentler, I'm pretty sure I'm bleeding inside my chest."

"Enter into a full lotus and we'll start on opening your last chakra."

"Full lotus?"

"Cross your legs, and place your feet on top of each thigh."

"No can do, I have these things called testicles that get in the way."

"EUGH, come here." Colleen stood up grabbing Andrew's legs.

"Wait Colleen STOP! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

She forcefully placed him into the full lotus pose and sat back down in front of him.

"Alright now we can get started."

"Is....it....necessary...for me.... to be in this much pain?"

"Well if you did your stretches, you wouldn't be in pain."

"Could we please just start, I'm about to break.��

"Your 4th Chakra is the Heart Chakra and it's currently blocked."

"Blocked by what?"

"The Heart chakra is closed, by holding grudges, isolating yourself, and the fear of intimacy. You'll need to move past these things in order to open it."

"I just talk about my bad feelings and it opens, then I can use Chi? Easy enough, I liked a girl in high school and she didn't like me back. Is it open?"

Colleen held both of Andrew's hands to his surprise, his face turning red.

"Andrew...I'm here for you. You don't have to hold it in." She said with a warm smile.

*Sigh* "I...I liked...I loved a girl for almost six years of my life, and I know what you're thinking. Six years and you didn't move on? I was a complete idiot, who believed her excuses. I'm not ready; my parents won't let me, and I'll date after high school. Then I told her I loved her, and she replied with I love your best friend, and then I lost the only two people that I talked to."

"Andrew, you don't choose who you love." She said solemnly.

"Whatever I'm over it. Is it open yet?" Andrew snapped.

"You're still holding onto something, something deeper." She said, looking at his heart chakra still pitch black.

Andrew took a deep sigh, gritting and gnashing his teeth, shaking his head in anger.

"I hate...I hate that I have parents..."

"Andrew..." Colleen was in disbelief.

"I know, I know, that's an absolutely f**king c*nt thing to say, to someone whose parents ran away. But...it really puts into question...what kind of sh*t f**k baby was I? That they just left me in front of S.H.I.E.L.D station with nothing?" He said fighting the tears starting to well up.

"Andrew...it wasn't you..." Colleen said fighting back her own tears, seeing his heart chakra starting to flicker.

"I mean...not a trinket to help track them, a picture, F**KING ANYTHING! They didn't even have the decency to leave me with a name or my birthday. I don't even know what my own heritage is. Like thanks dad and mum, it was really fun watching every kid celebrate their birthday."

He let out a shout and stormed out wiping his tears from his face. Colleen wiped her tears and followed him outside to the park bench. He sat there hunched over, wiping the tears from his face.

"Andrew...you've been holding onto that for a long time." Colleen said placing her hand on his shoulder.

"I...I haven't told anyone that before. That's the first time I've even said it."

"Well it worked; all your gates are now open." She said with a big smile offering out her hand.

Andrew looked up at her and could no longer see the aura engulfing Colleen. He took her hand and they went back inside into the apartment, sitting down in the middle of the living room.

"What happens now?" Andrew asked.

"I'm not sure, unlocking your ability to use Chi, and learning to use it are two very different things."

"Well, how do you use it?"

"I just feel and think it, and then it happens."

"That's not helpful at all, how about we start with the basics."

"Uhhh...."

"Okay...that white fire, your chi, it was completely around you. But when I saw it in that crowd, each flame was tiny, almost like snow drops. Why was your one so big?"

"Well Chi is like a muscle, the more you use it, the bigger it gets."

"Well how big is mine?"

Colleen looked at Andrew's Chi, seeing a tiny wisp.

"Uhhhhh...it's not about the size, but more how you use it?...." she pursed her lips, with furrowed brows, forcing a crooked smile.

"It's that small?"

"It's bigger than most people...." Colleen said hesitantly.

"It's small like my penis I get it. Let's just start with increasing its size, and then we'll experiment with how to use Chi. So what do you do to increase its size?"

"Well, physical training definitely helps, meditation, fighting and ....physical or emotional intimacywithyourlovedones." Colleen mumbled under her breath.

"And...What? You were mumbling."

"It's nothing; forget I said anything."

"It's something dirty isn't it?"

"No!" She said blushing.

"It is isn't it? Is it perhaps this?" Andrew said, putting his finger through a hole.

"Stop that!" she said slapping his hands down.

"Oh my god, you can increase your Chi by f**king?"

"NO! Its intimacy, it's being with the person you love that can make it stronger."

"So....was your Chi always that big? Or did I make it bigger?"

Colleen started to blush and turn beet red.

"IT WAS ALWAYS THAT BIG!"

"Okay, I'm kidding, well if fighting makes it stronger. Let's kill two birds with one stone. You continue to teach me how to fight properly and that should make it bigger right?"

"Perfect idea, that's how my dad taught me."

"You use to fight your dad?"

"It was play fighting, nothing too serious." Colleen started to reminisce.

*10 years ago in Chikara Dojo*

"I'm ready!" Young Colleen shouted, in a fighting stance.

"HERE I COME! YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Her father delivered a fly kick to her face, sending her flying across the room.

"It was good times."