7 Hospital Prank and Diner

"Relation to the patient and his name?" an average-looking nurse asked with a tired tone, not bothering to look up at me. Undeterred by this, I simply smiled before replying.

"I'm his brother, and his name is Thor Odinson," I cheerfully said, thinking off all the pranks I could play on Thor in the next few hours.

My meager amount of magic will serve a 'noble' purpose!

I felt some weird stares from behind me and turned to see Jane and the others giving me suspicious looks, to which I smirked, "What? Never heard of foreign surnames before?" to which they all gave one last look at me before giving up on searching my face for answers.

"T-H-O-R..." the nurse started, typing it in before looking up and questioning me, "O-den-sun?" she looked confused, with tired eyes and bags under them. Poor woman.

"No, no," I smiled, "O-din-son. O-D-I-N-S-O-N," I politely corrected as I leaned over the desk and discretely looked behind her to look into the staff room just as someone was entering it. I squinted my eyes and caught the password being entered.

83467.

"Okay," oblivious to what I was doing, the nurse just typed the name in before asking one more question, "And why is your brother being brought in as a patient?"

"Ah," I exclaimed before pointing to Jane, "She hit him with a van," Jane looked embarrassed and offended that I ratted on her, but didn't say anything despite looking like she wanted to, "Before she tasered him," I pointed at Darcy who just nodded like she was...proud? I really don't know.

On the way over, I'd convinced them that I was only flung back alongside my brother and that I hadn't actually been hit by the van. Somehow, they believed it. Probably due to the centuries of experience I had in lying. But we'll ignore that fact and just say they're gullible.

Anyway, from the lack of actual injuries on my person, they could only agree to me.

The same couldn't be said for Thor because they knew at least one of us was hit by the van. He was also ranting and raving about some crazy stuff.

The others, mainly Jane, had asked me what I meant when I referred to this place as 'Midgard' and our home as 'Asgard'. That was actually pretty easy to divert. I simply said that it was from our culture, and 'Midgard' is what we call America. Complete bullshit, I know, but if you weave the lies well enough, they'll be believable. Erik did look slightly suspcious, however. Probably because he's Scandinavian and he's aware of Norse Mythology. But what he can't prove, will...will benefit me, I guess? After all, he can't say my alleged culture doesn't exist.

Anyway, hearing what I said, the nurse looked up at me with a raised eyebrow before looking to the others to see if what I was saying was correct. She got her answer in the guilty nod Jane gave before she hurriedly tried to explain herself.

"It was more of me grazing him with a van...not hitting him...head-on," she slowly slammed her fist into her hand, emulating the 'grazing' that happened.

The nurse just gave her a deadpan look before looking to me like she wanted to ask me something, but all she did was give a tired sigh before she started typing again.

With this, Jane and the others went away after apologizing again, and I was left in the waiting room, for the results from Thor's...I don't know, tests, I guess you'd call them? Inspection?

Eh, whatever it is, I've got something planned that'll be pretty fun.

Some security ran past me to the room Thor had been taken to and I grinned before sitting down and looking at the staff room behind the nurse at the reception. Fun fact, it contained spare scrubs for Doctors inside.

. . .

Entering Thor's room, holding a clipboard I'd found on the way, I adjusted the white lab coat I was currently wearing.

As I entered the room I saw Thor struggling against his restraints and I calmly walked over to him while pretending to read something on the clipboard, "Mr. Odinson, I'm going to have to ask you to stop doing that," I looked back up at him with a reprimanding gaze and his blue eyes widened in confusion before he smiled.

"Loki!" he gave a hushed yell, "Quickly, come and get me out of these restraints! They seem to be enchanted with some kind of sorcery!"

Upon hearing what he said, I put on a confused look before frowning at him, "Loki?" I questioned, "Who's Loki?"

As soon as I said that, Thor snarled at me, baring his teeth in urgent anger, "Loki, this is no time for tricks and plays! Get me out of here!"

Looking troubled, I put the clipboard down before leaning over Thor and shining a light in his eyes, "You appear to be distressed, Mr. Odinson. May I ask why? We discovered no irregularities with you despite you being hit by a..." I trailed off before looking over at the clipboard, "a van," I finished before backing away, picking up, and pretending to write something on the clipboard, humming in dissatisfaction.

Thor went back to struggling against his restraints before speaking to me through gritted teeth, his annoyance practically flowing off of him, "Loki, stop this! And release me!" he grunted in exertion, but it was futile and he couldn't break the restraints holding him.

"Do you think I'm this 'Loki' character, perhaps?" I questioned with an exaggerated confused face, "Let me assure you, Mr. Odinson, that my name is not Loki. It's Dr. Skojare," I tapped my finger on a tag I'd clipped to the breast pocket of my coat, where'd I'd written 'Dr. Skojare', "See?" I politely smiled as I 'explained' the situation.

I had to restrain the immense urge to laugh as I saw Thor's face go red in anger, with the veins on his forehead threatening to pop.

Just as I was about to push further, the door burst open and I calmly turned around to see Jane, Darcy, and Erik burst in.

"Hello there," I started, seeing their confused gazes, "What do you need with my patient or me?" finishing up, I smirked as I saw the looks of confusing only deepening. But Jane seemed to push through her confusion, purely by curiosity and spoke up.

"Loki! You need to answer my--I mean, our questions! Please!" she pleaded, her hazel eyes boring two holes into me. Behind me, Thor stopped struggling at the mention of my name and I could practically feel the smugness emanating off of him.

"A-hah! I knew you were Loki!" he bellowed before rattling his arms and legs and drawing attention to the restraints holding him, "Now undo these restraints, brother, your tricks and plays can wait until later!"

Sighing, I clicked my tongue in annoyance before turning around and starting to undo Thor's restraints. I knew they'd be coming to find Thor sometime in the morning but...I wanted some more time to mess with him. Such an opportunity won't present itself for a while, you know?

After I'd undone the restraints, I turned to Jane before giving her an indifferent face, "Let's get out of here and I'll start to answer your questions. But first, can you get us some clothes and take us for some food? I'm quite starving," I smiled as I finished, and Jane gave a quick nod before turning around and leading the way out.

Thor came close to me before whispering to me, "Why are we following these mortals, Loki? We need to leave and find a way back to Asgard!" he said in a loud whisper, his voice containing some urgency.

"Because why not, Thor? It'll be interesting. Plus, I'm sure these people can help us get back to Asgard one way or another," I smiled enigmatically before following, not answering anymore of Thor's questions.

. . .

Sitting down, I used some of my magic to re-summon the Apple I had seconds before I pranked Sif and Thor, like a day or two ago, and took a bite out of it. The sound got the attention of Darcy who was busy ogling Thor's naked upper body.

"Where did you get that apple?" she asked with a confused look, glancing about for a fruit bowl or something.

Smiling, I shrugged, "Would the answer 'magic' suffice?" I playfully teased, earning a scoff in reply.

Guess someone doesn't believe in magic, huh?

Anyway, I continued to eat the apple, before Thor came out with a t-shirt in hand, holding it up so a label was easily seen, "What is this?" he asked with a confused look.

Jane, who was sitting down a few feet from me, squinted her eyes before quickly rushing over and taking the tag off the shirt before scrunching it up, "Oh, this?" she pulled a face, reminiscent of cringing at something, before looking back at me and the others, "M-my Ex. Good with patients and bad with r-relationships, haha..." she gave an awkward laugh as she went a little red before she tried to explain herself, "Uhh! They were the only clothes I had that would fit you--" she was cut off by Thor walking past her and speaking.

"They will suffice," he said in an aloof tone and I rolled my eyes.

"What he means to say is 'Thanks for the clothes, Jane'," I quipped before taking another bite from my apple. I got a laugh from Erik and Jane, the latter of which gave me a thankful smile.

Ignoring my banter, Thor walked towards us and spoke, "This mortal form has grown weak. I need sustenance!" he said in a commanding voice to which I felt a slight amount of annoyance - they're not servants, you know?

With this in mind, I quickly spoke up after him.

"What he means to say is 'Please, can we go and get some food?'. Sorry, Thor gets a little grumpy when he's hungry," I gave a half-smile before standing up myself and finishing the last bit of my apple before throwing it into the bin on the other side of the room. While it was mid-air and traveling, I spoke up in Jane's direction, "I'll answer your questions when we go to a diner or whatever serves food around here. Okay?" I promised with a polite smile, to which she gave a smile of her own before nodding softly.

The apple landed in the bin without hitting the sides and I smiled, while Darcy looked between me and the bin with her mouth in the shape of an 'O'.

"Was I the only one who saw that?!" she gave an exaggerated yell, "How did you do that?!" she stood up and seemed like a hyperactive kid as she shuffled left and right, looking at me for an answer.

Seeing her like this, I saw an opportunity for something, and I only smiled and replied with one word.

"Magic~"

. . .

"How did you two get inside that cloud?" Jane asked as she looked intently at the two of us, with a notepad in her hand.

Thor was busy stuffing his face, and so was I, so no answer came and before I could, Darcy asked another question, completely irrelevant to the current topic, "Also, how could you both eat an entire box of pop tarts and still be this hungry?"

Thor just looked at the two of them and continued to eat, while I swallowed my pancakes before going to answer. But I was cut off by Thor exclaiming, "This drink; I like it!" he said, holding a cup of coffee in his hand.

"I know, it's great, right?" Darcy said before looking between Jane and Thor. As she was doing that, Thor lifted the hand holding the coffee cup and got ready to throw it on the ground, but I grabbed his wrist and stopped him.

"Thor," I said in a serious tone, pausing for a second before continuing "No," saying it like I was talking to a particularly unruly pet.

Slowly, with a confused face, Thor lowered his hand and put the cup back down on the table.

"Can we have another cup of coffee, please?" I asked the waitress, an older woman, who was walking past our table. She smiled in reply before filling Thor's cup with some coffee and topping up mine, "Thank you," I gave a thankful smile before looking back to the others who were giving us weird looks. Though I bet they're a whole lot less judgmental than they would have been if I let Thor throw that cup off the ground.

"W-what was that?" Jane asked with a confused expression and I smiled in reply before speaking.

"Just a difference in cultures is all. Pay no mind to it."

Just as she was about to reply, the five of us overheard some talk from near the counter where two men had just sat down, explaining to the waitress who'd just filled up our cups that she'd missed some real fun out at the 'crater'.

Hearing this, I grinned a little and turned to Thor who had stopped eating and was currently grinning with his mouth full of food.

...Thankfully, no one took notice and he soon closed his mouth and swallowed the mixture of pancakes, syrup, and coffee.

Anyway, the part that got Jane and Erik's attention was the part where the men mentioned a 'satellite'.

"Excuse me?" Jane asked, her voice full of confusion. Once the men, dressed like truck drivers, turned around she continued you, "Did you just say there was a satellite crash nearby?"

The man, obviously not expecting to get the attention of such a beautiful woman, nodded with a nervous demeanor and Darcy seemed to make some weird connections of her own and spoke up with a smirk spreading across her face, "Oh my god...this is going on Facebook! Smile, you two!" she held up her phone and Thor gave a hearty smile and I joined in for the sake of it, smiling alongside the big oaf.

Ignoring our shenanigans, Erik propped himself up a little better, looking over at the man who answered Jane, "What did it look like? The satellite, I mean," he asked, genuine curiosity in his voice.

The man shrugged, still glancing at Jane before he finally looked back at Erik, "Well, I don't know anything about satellites," he trailed off, seemingly wracking his brain for how to describe it, until he finally figured out a way to put it, "But it was real heavy. Heh, I mean, nobody could lift it. Not even this poor fella's truck could make it budge!" he laughed, his friend joining him as they remembered something funny. If I remember correctly, one of them did try to move it with his truck...some old guy with aviators on. Seemed like a cool guy.

While I was thinking this, Thor stood up and walked over to the man, scaring the poor guy into telling him the direction. Getting up I followed after Thor, and Jane and the others soon followed.

(A/N - This'll be a bit of a rant, so bear with me for now.

What this rant out is one thing: the amount of people who are saying they don't like how this story seems to be following canon and isn't original enough.

Honestly, I'm not clever, nor willing enough to weave together a story that's completely original when I've put my MC into a Universe that already has a set plot. If something ain't broke, don't try to fix it, you know? Sure, some things will be changed. But that will be because of Loki's wants and desires; him saving his mother will no doubt be on that list.

Now, if you want the plot to be different, then you'll be happy to know that after the Thor Arc, as I'm calling it, Loki will try to change things for the better, more often than not. But if you expect that I'm not gonna use the movie plots the MCU is full of, you can get lost. I don't care if you think I'm a lazy, parasitic fuck, I'm gonna do what I want.

And what I want is to do is be a lazy, parasitic fuck who feeds off of plots that are pre-made.)