Monologue of a super powered dysfunctional immortal teenage antihero

(September 2011)

Humans were social creatures, they sought out relationships in any way they could. Peter's Aunt, May Parker once told Peter that everyone needs someone on their side and that no one should be alone, she said solitude could be addictive, and once you get used to it, it gets harder to talk to other people, it gets harder to form lasting bonds and relationships.

She left out an important part when she told him that. 

People hardly ever choose to be alone. Isolation wasn't a choice, it was an outcome. A product of a series of choices made by the person and everyone around them.

.....

Today was rather dull for Peter. After all the events that transpired in the months prior the very else just seemed lacking now. 

Peter sat at his desk in the middle of the back row watching everyone around him trade stories over all the fun things they did in the summer in all their little cliques.

Everyone greeted each other with excitement, hugs, handshakes, and friendly tussles here and there as the usual sounds filled the class.

The ambient sounds of joyous reunions, laughter, and greetings became a mere backdrop, akin to a narrative unfolding in monochrome hues 

Despite himself, that old feeling resurfaced ever so slightly, the desire to belong, a habitual inclination.

He couldn't help it. Everyone wanted to belong, it was human nature.

Usually, he would go chat with some of the guys in his circle of friends that was mostly some of the science groupies, nerds, or members of last year's debate team but after the incident at the hospital with the most rich and popular kids in school went viral on the net no one wanted to associate with him right now. 

He had very few friends, to begin with, and now he had none.

They just left him alone too for some reason, with no sniding remarks, passing comments, or insults. none of the usual bullying either.

The jocks avoided him too.

If Peter was to guess it probably involved the incident with his uncle and aunt. 

From what he gathered in the little snippets of conversations he overheard, everyone knew about his station. 

It apparently made the news, circulating through various media outlets.

There was a lot of other stuff that made the news; the lizardman's battle with spider women, gang-related territorial wars, the monsters who almost leveled Harlem in their fight, superheroes popping up left and right, super-powered people appearing everywhere and the increasing frequency of incidents involving those said super people.

With all that, there was no shortage of things for everyone to talk about.

This all left him in this situation. Everyone just chose to ignore him like some unspoken rule, unwilling to associate with him in any way. 

Let's just leave the poor nerd alone or something along that line.

Exiled into social isolation by his peers driven by their desires to belong. 

Peter couldn't blame them, they didn't know any better. Teenagers will be teenagers after all.

Ironic since he was a teen himself judging his fellow teens.

'Was this what maturing felt like?'.

He held back a sigh when he felt their resident redhead, Mary Jane giving him the stink from across the room.

In contrast to him, his peers flooded around Gwen Stacy like a moth to a flame, everyone quick to express their sympathy, calling her father a hero, showering her with compliments, showing how much they care for her well-being. 

He noticed that pale blond girl with them too, she had all the jocks drooling all over her for obvious reasons.

Falicity whatever was her name.

She was hot and she knew it, and made full use of her looks cause she had all of them eating out of their hands.

If the jealous glance from any of the girls affected her in any way she sure as hell didn't show it. She seems to positively bask in it.

'Weirdo…' Peter's eyebrow twitched when she caught his glance then proceeded to wink at him.

A mischievous smile bloomed on the face.

They sure as hell didn't hold anything back. He glanced at Gwen as the crowd around her continued to grow.

Was it because she was popular now? was it because she hanged with the rich? did they mean any of the things they were saying to her? or were they just saying it to get in good with her new circle of friends?

He couldn't help but ask himself while he sat in his corner. He then questioned why all this even mattered to him right now. 

It shouldn't, they weren't friends anymore. Right now he had no one, no one to greet, no one to crack jokes with or chat with, no one to just hang with and talk about nothing. 

He had not a single person in this world.

Guess he really was all alone in the world now and surprisingly he was OK with that. He was alone sure, but right now, he didn't feel all that lonely. 

Peter found himself at peace with his solitude. Did he feel content? No that wasn't it…Calm? No that wasn't it either….it was more like he couldn't care less, what was it again?… Ahh… that's it.

 Apathy. He felt apathetic, Numb to it all.

It wasn't that he was feeling anything in particular, it was the opposite. He just lacked any sense of feeling right now, lacked the emotional drive to feel anything, he was warned out. 

After everything that happened to him last month who could blame him?

He was killed, he died at the hands of his hero, the very hero who inspired his actions to begin with, the very person he idolized more than his uncle. A random teenage girl who had superpowers and chose to save people with her powers instead of doing something more selfish. 

He worked hard in pursuit of a single goal, to be a hero, to reach her level, and maybe even fight alongside her. He tried so hard too, Months of research, days of study, and sleepless nights just to perfect his serum.

He broke so many rules, stole a bunch of shit too.

However…

The result of all this hard work; is death by spider-themed beat down.

It got worse from there, he almost killed his best friend's Dad, he was responsible for the death of countless people during his rampage as the lizard, left more injured, disfigured, or worse, he witnessed the death of the two people he loved, lost all his would-be friends and burned all his bridges to dust.

Hell, he experienced death himself, over and over again, he fought in illegal tournaments for the sake of self-improvement, he fought a monster to death with another monster, died, resurrected, and came out on top, he was a host to an entity that was beyond human comprehension. 

A god-like being that treated reality as if it was a toy.

He meet the embodiment of death, the grim freaking ripper, and walked away alive.

Not once, but Twice!

Who would be sane after all that, who would look at all these normal interactions after all that happened and remain as they were before?

Even now he was planning the next steps to take for his plan to kill one of the most reclusive millionaires in New York.

A supposed crime boss.

Was he just supposed to pretend like everything was okay, like it was normal, like any of this mattered to him the same way they did before, like nothing changed for him?

No, he couldn't.

When putting things into perspective he never really had the time to consider any of this. 

He didn't allow himself to even entertain these thoughts. He was honestly scared to face it himself so he avoided thinking about it.

This just goes to show how bored he was right now. Three hours in school and he was already going through an existential crisis.

 He read somewhere that during an existential crisis, a person may grapple with profound feelings of uncertainty, anxiety, and a sense of isolation. Questions about the purpose and meaning of one's life, the nature of existence, and the choices made or to be made can become overwhelming. 

Either that or he was just bored.

A month may not have been a long time but it was enough. People change all the time, it takes longer, and some even take a lifetime, he just got the shorthand of the stick.

That is to say, his changed, what was important to him before felt trivial to him now. He just felt tired out. He didn't have the energy to play pretend too or the motivation to keep acting normal.

He had no reason to.

The only thing that mattered to him was sleeping in a hospital room three miles west of here. 

Every else was just, white noise, the best way to describe it would be similar to someone sitting in a cinema watching a movie playing in black and white with no sound, something you just weren't all that interested in but had no choice but to watch it.

So just like a movie, he would watch it play out, and do the bare minimum to get a passing grade while focusing on other more important matters. 

In light of his present situation, he probably wouldn't even be here if he didn't need to be here. Now that he was he had no choice but to see it through anyway.

He needed this for his civilian cover after all. That was the only reason he was here.

The moment the door swung open, interrupting his introspection, Mr. Harrington's attempt at an authoritative voice commanded attention. "Alright, everyone settle down!" he declared, bearing a stack of papers.

'Yeah, I just have to survive today, and tomorrow, and the next until I can figure something else out.' Peter sighed internally as he succumbed to his fate for the day. 

He lazily glanced out the window when he noticed the gates of the school opening up to let in a line of cars.

Then he felt something shift in his psyche, he felt his strength leave him, he felt his blood settle as he felt the ability to manipulate it leave him. 

His eyes widened in surprise when he felt the familiar feeling of information streaming into his mind.

He suddenly felt very weak, vulnerable, almost normal.

"What the…" Uttering a barely audible exclamation, Peter found himself privy to a cascade of new information. 

{Special Trait gained: Mask of Innocence

-Allows the host to fake a state of normality, making him seem as 'normal' as expected of an average human, in this state, all of his abilities will be sealed until he chooses to actively use them. However certain abilities will activate on their own accord in response to the host's needs or protection.

-Active ability under this trait:

Ajin}

{Fable Fusion Phase 3: Intergration 42%}

-The End-

Just an introspective chapter on Peter's thoughts.