21 Their past (1)

[Five years ago]

Often times, the Duchess Rusells would visit the Varemont estate. Whether this was a show for the other aristocrats that the two families had befriended each other at last, or simply because they have indeed gotten close, no one knows.

I know of course, it was half of each. Mother would say that it was purely business, but I could see it in her eyes that she was having fun talking to Lady Varemont. They talked of their husbands, of times when they were romantic or frustrating. They completely forgot about the blood feud. Well, no one knew how it started anyway.

Since Erilyn wouldn't come, Mother would bring me along.

"August isn't there, anyway." Erilyn had said, pouting. "Why should I come? I'll be there when he's home."

Sure enough, I knew she didn't mean the last part. She was just lucky she had a reason not to go. Erilyn didn't want this marriage, but she didn't have a choice. I guessed I was lucky because I was born as the second daughter.

I grew accustomed to wandering to the Varemont training grounds whenever I got bored of listening to Mother and Lady Varemont. Or whenever I had already finished up gobbling the foods. In this case, it was the latter.

I sat on the grass, clutching my bloated stomach. I was so full it hurt.

Beside me was the silver-haired boy who was always sparring with the knights. He said he was the son of the Vice-captain. And that made sense, if he were to be allowed here to roam freely.

Nikolas, his name was. He was so light-footed and lithe, like a ballerina. His hair was long too, tied in a loose ponytail. It billowed in the wind like a paintbrush dipped in water. I had never seen a boy so beautiful before.

Unlike him, Nikolas said I was an explosion of power and might. "You're so strong, Lily. Explosive, blazing, fiery . . . boom!"

Nikolas had ran out of words to describe me so he chose to go with a sound effect, throwing his hands in the air as he said it. It made me laugh, and we stopped sparring because both of us couldn't stop laughing."

Now, Nikolas sat beside me, his legs spread out beneath the sun. I had to sit cross-legged, since I was wearing a dress, a horrendous mass of tulle made up most of my skirt.

Beneath a medium-sized oak tree that provided enough shade, we watched the knights as they trained.

"Hey Nikolas," I said. "Do you know the reason why young master August isn't always here?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "August goes to school abroad."

I shifted my body to him, intrigued. "Really? What's the place like? Did he tell you?"

Nikolas lifted his chin, eyeing me sideways. "Yes, we're friends. He tells me stuff every time he comes home for Yuletide. He says it's a country that isn't as beautiful as Carnelia. But their libraries are so huge they had to build large structures to store their books in. It's a nation of knowledge. That's why the Duke sent him there. He wants August to have the best education as the heir to the dukedom."

"Mmm, okay." I said, facing front again. "Does he like it there?"

"He says he does. But he also tells me that he misses home every day."

"That must suck," I said. "I never want to be away from my parents."

"Me neither." His shoulders slumped. "But August has to do it, you know? A lot is expected from an heir."

It made me pause. "Just like Erilyn."

Nikolas turned his head to me, brows furrowed. "Who's Erilyn?"

"My older sister," I answered, as-a-matter-of-factly. "You didn't know about the fixed marriage? My sister is meant to marry August when they grow up."

Nikolas sat up straight, both palms on the ground. "Woah there, I thought you were the eldest daughter. I thought it was it was you who was supposed to marry August."

I snorted. "As if. Why would you think that?"

"Well, you're the one who's always here with your mother when she visits. I thought she brings you so you can get used to the Varemonts as August's future bride." Nikolas laughed.

I crossed my arms, disbelieving that he really thought of me like that. "I just come here because I feel like it. And also because I enjoy sparring with you. You're hard to beat, Niko. Unlike the knights back home."

The starts lit in his eyes. "That's good to know. I like having you as my opponent too, Lily."

"Great." I smiled.

Niko let out a huff of breath, as if a heavy baggage was taken from him. "Ah, I really believed you were already promised to someone. I really thought to myself: 'what a bummer', you know?"

"Why would that be?" I tilted my head, curious.

"Well," he smiled, sweetly and delightful. "I've taken quite a liking to you, Lily."

My cheeks heated, and there was a flutter in my stomach. I was thirteen, and I knew what this feeling meant. The other young ladies had described them to me. They said it felt like your chest was light and heavy at the same time. Like you're very much aware that your feet were rooted on the ground, but you also feel like you're floating. I was everything that they'd been describing.

Nikolas caught my wrist and he got to his feet, with me following suit. At his touch, electric current surged in my arm.

"Where are we going?" I asked, as he dragged me behind the knights' storage room.

"Outside. I'm taking you to the city." He looked over his shoulder, grinning at me with such happiness. "It's a Sunday, so all the market stalls should be up."

We went through the back gate, staying low so we wouldn't get caught as we escaped. Who we were escaping from, it didn't matter.

I heaved in a breath. "A date?"

Niko stopped on his tracks and I feared I said the wrong thing. But I figured that I didn't.

Because I saw how red his cheeks and ears were as he scratched his nape, as though he was shy. Such a boyish gesture made my heart leap.

"Yes, it's a date." He said with a coy smile. "Will you go with me, Lily?"

I nodded eagerly and he brightened up, his eyes alight like the ocean mist under the summer sun.

Nikolas was my first love.