6 The Past That Haunts

"HALT! Stay where you are!" a commanding woman's voice roared.

Doing as instructed, I was surrounded by four knights wearing the colors of Ironclad.

Splotches of blue and orange coated their armor while a hint of red tinted the edges.

They cautiously moved in unison forming a squared perimeter around me so escape would be more troublesome.

An image of a mouse caught between the claws of a cat as it toys with it before feasting came to mind, however, this particular mouse knew how to fight back.

Watching how each carried themselves and the voice of the commander, I couldn't help but feel some familiarity.

[(Were they from my past or was my mind playing tricks on me?)]

Veronica quickly took a position beside me and commanded, "Lower your weapons!"

The knight shrouded in a bluish orange cape with an eagle's head clenching a white rose between its beak buried the tip of the longsword she wielded.

She bowed her head, "Lady Strom, welcome back."

Veronica chuckled making her way over to the knight and wrapped her arms around her, "It's good to see you're still well, Freya."

She turned to look at the rest of the gathered knights as I realized the familiarity with the caped knight, "That goes for all of you."

Freya removed her helm to reveal a woman with lightly tanned skin underneath as long crimson hair flowed free from the enclosed space.

Her aqua blue eyes were like shimmering sapphires against the flowing lava of her waist length hair.

A single scar ran the length of her lip from an injury long ago.

I could tell that she was of the same build like Veronica or Nyxis even under the armor she wore.

She looked two years younger than Veronica and me but I still remember the young lass trying to stop the carriage that took me away.

She gave a small sigh, "My Lady, you know such formalities are viewed badly in public, especially for the King's advisor. We'll talk more personally once out of prying eyes."

Freya shook her head before nodding to me, "Anyway, is he a guest of yours?"

Veronica didn't say anything as her eyes moved from Freya to me.

She looked about to answer when Freya took a step forward, "Wait…those eyes!?"

I watched Freya stalk closer to me with the same inquisitive look like she had when we were children.

When she stood before me, she cautiously placed a hand on my right cheek and rubbed it with her thumb.

I stood motionless when the other knights drew closer with their helms under their arms and weapons sheathed.

They were from my past when I was a naive little boy daydreaming about storybook heroes.

A fragmented past that I tried so hard to avoid for so damn long.

Freya had tears running down her cheeks when remembering who I was and knelt with her head down, "Lord VonKnight…it's good to see you've returned."

The other knights had signs of tears being formed at such a realization before following Freya.

Sighing, "I haven't returned. I'm just here to see what the old man wants, then I'll be returning to Siegfried. Besides, each of you know that I'm not the same person I once was."

A shadowy hood formed along the collar of my coat that soon blotted out the rising sun.

I stood beside Veronica and whispered so that only she heard my words, "Bringing people from the past won't change anything between the three of us."

She smirked, "I know that but it seems past memories are fogging your thoughts, or am I wrong?"

I let out a soft chuckle, "Devious bitch."

Veronica retorted, "I am our mother's child."

I couldn't help but smile at such an answer, "You forget that, so am I. Anyway, let's get through the gates quickly. I feel like I'm about to drop from exhaustion."

Veronica returned a faint chuckle before giving orders to the gathered knights.

I paid those that passed with unwelcoming gazes no mind and continued to join the others.

They each had a relieved expression painted on their faces.

One could tell that they were ready for the fight of their lives with just one look.

Such a tempting thought tickled my mind a moment here and there but what would that truly achieve in the end except more headache.

Orion perched on my right shoulder as we were escorted into Siegfried to the distasteful looks of those who still waited for entry.

[(I wonder if he'll remember my face after so long?)]

It was very relieving to discover that SwallowTail Inn had its own adjoining restaurant which housed quite the compilation of ales.

We were lucky that a room was available for Zeke and Scarlett though it was more catered toward those of wealth.

Veronica had managed to persuade the Innkeeper to give the room at a reasonable price along with two meals which I greedily took advantage of.

While the others instantly went to get some sleep and Veronica accompanied the Little Fox to the palace alongside Casteilla, I was left with the four Lepus who partook in the meal offered.

I laughed watching the three girls fold the white cloth holding the utensils together while Luca took the gold pouch I handed him.

"Are you sure about this?" Luca asked with a surprised expression.

Nodding, I watched from the corner of my eye as Phoebe, Alicja, and Sofia scarf down their respective third plate of food.

Food was used as a reward to those who became fully domesticated to their master's wills and served as a conditioning tool for those still starving in defiance.

It was also used as the catalyst in torture, at least in my case, when Alabasta and that bastard Orc Spatonamus forced me to eat while the opponents I spared watched on.

I saw so many I tried to give another chance inadvertently die by my hand to the point my mind broke into a thousand pieces.

After that fracture, I became the killer they wanted and ended most matches without a second look back to the disappointment of the sniveling crowd.

I sighed and placed those times back where they belonged before tearing a piece of steak free for Orion, "Yes, I'm sure. I want you to use that gold to get them bathed and decent clothing."

Luca just stared at the red pouch filled with gold, "There are at least three thousand pieces! Do you know how many things you could buy?"

I took a sip of ale that wasn't as strong as Momma Joan's brew, but it sufficed.

Luca looked up from the pouch when I didn't answer, "Tell me, why are you doing this? I mean for years we heard stories of the Jackal. So why this change of character?"

I stared at the three girls as they laughed amongst themselves, "I know what horrors they went through. Spatonamus was a cruel bastard."

"What did he do to them? And you?" Luca asked as he drank some ale.

[(The rabbit has balls to ask such a thing. Then again, his eyes hold the same coldness like mine.)]

"I can't really say what he did to those three," I swirled the crimson liquid until a small vortex moved in the mug.

I didn't see a reason why not to share my hell, "As for myself, Spatonamus took a very keen liking to me and the screams I tried holding behind clenched teeth."

"The humility of being stripped to nothing but the clothes from the womb and bound to a table by thin wire meant to constrict tighter around each limb with every attempt to escape," I saw a hint of paleness in Luca's face.

I took a bite of steamed turnips before continuing, "That was just the beginning of their cruel fun which peaked when they poured a bucket of Qhurralea venom upon my chest and the sizzling sound of flesh being corroded away in a matter of moments."

I went silent for a moment as those memories played once more, "I recall being tied to a suspended pole over a small pool of dark water. The feeling of my lungs bursting for air as I struggled to fend off the leeches swimming inside."

"I even remember the worried face Alabasta wore before complete darkness consumed my vision," I chuckled.

I sighed as the memories made my scars hurt, "To be honest Alabasta, the slaver my uncle and sister sold me to, was like a fairy compared to the Orc and often tended to my wounds himself."

Shaking the talks we shared during those times, I hardened my expression before looking Luca in the eye.

Without remorse, "Another thing you should know is that Spatonamus had a tendency to play with his female toys."

Luca's eyes widened as he turned toward the girls who had their heads on their arms, "Their minds will need time to heal but I don't think it will be too long."

I held up a hand when Luca turned back with an understandable angered expression, "Unlike most, they had each other to keep themselves sane to an extent. That unity is what kept them going through the hell they lived through."

I couldn't help but chuckle, "I'm sure you've seen it too in their young eyes."

He seemed to lost in thought upon hearing my observation as I continued to enjoy the meal in front of me.

He spoke after a few moments, "I had it fairly easy compared to you. The most I got was a few lashings here and there."

A small shadowy figure with its arms wrapped around its legs and head buried formed in my open palm, "Believe me when I say that there are worse torments than that, much worse."

The figure continued to play out the horrors I felt as more figures formed.

I repeated the words spoken to me during each torment, "To make me tougher."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Phoebe, Alicja, and Sofia watching the shadows in my hand change.

Their eyes glistened with tears when the shadows reenacted the serrated sting of a whip colliding with bare flesh and the contortion of bound limbs.

It displayed those that I was forced to watch suffer while chained to the stone wall.

Shadowy chains rattled with each painful strain to reach a lifeless figure only feet away.

Like Vaniel, a slave's life starts and ends with survival of the fittest.

Each girl instantly stared down at their emptied plate trying to avoid my gaze as if they did something bad.

I laughed a little before asking Orion to cheer them up through the link we shared.

As he stalked, three butterflies from earlier flapped their small wings around him while fading strands marked their path.

My ears filled with their soft laughter as the insects floated around while Orion moved between them to pet his soft fur.

I knew Orion was enjoying himself from the constant scratches and at one point started shaking a hind leg like a dog when the perfect area is scratched.

Luca released a soft chuckle when a butterfly landed on his nose before black wings fluttered once more to rejoin the others.

"I guess the four of us will take our leave then," he got to his feet and rounded up the three girls.

All three waved to me as they left Orion and I alone. "Those kids," I muttered to myself, "I wish them luck to forget their endeavor."

I rested my back against the wall and used the chair beside me as an impromptu stool before closing my eyes.

My mind couldn't remove the ominous peace I felt being among the nobility that I swore to hate for the remainder of my life.

Orion sensed the rupture in my state of mind and found a place in my lap where he curled into a ball.

His sharp canines dug into my skin as he pulled my hand over his small body.

He often enjoyed the attention gained from others especially when they gave him constant petting.

[(Is my past self trying to return? If so, why?)]

I sat silently counting each step taken by the waitress going between tables while petting Orion who did the same.

SwallowTail wasn't rowdy like Raven's Claw often is, but it did have a pleasant aura moving about the building.

Sounds of many conversations were overlapped by the band as they played such elegant music fit for its pompous clientele.

To be honest, I felt out of place being back in Ironclad though I spent a great deal of my childhood roaming its streets.

Now after years spent trying to avoid it, the place was as foreign to me as the newly discovered lands to the south are to Athax Frein.

I sighed and began to sing the lullaby my mother sang to keep my mind clear, "The black bird sings in the dead of night. The bringer of dreams prowls for nightmares. Those who slumber wait for pleasant dreams as fluttering wings fill the night sky…"

I couldn't help but feel my mother's lips pressed against my forehead as she and my father towered over us while holding one another in admiration toward what they created.

My mind felt at ease just as it did whenever she sang to us.

I remember the pleasant adventures dreamt tucked away under the weighted blankets free from the night terrors.

As I thought of her, her image changed from the elegant woman she was to the half charred corpse that stood in front of me with father when the blade that claimed them punctured her chest.

That image soon faded away with the coldness of my ale swimming in my lap along with Orion climbing to my shoulder.

"Please forgive me my Lord," a small voice said as I took a handkerchief from my breast pocket and began to splotch the table.

The owner of the voice was a girl that looked to be in her twelfth winter with shoulder length silvery blonde hair and watery blue eyes.

A blue ribbon adorned with splotches of crimson held strands of hair in place so none would fall freely in patrons' food.

She looked like a much younger version of the alewife that ran the restaurant and shared her kind hearted demeanor.

She was dressed in a tan button down shirt under a stitched red blouse and a frilly skirt.

Without wasting time, she quickly used the covering white apron to dab the liquid little at a time before scurrying for a nearby towel.

I smiled, "Don't worry about it, accidents happen. Did any get on you?"

The girl shook her head as she gathered the empty plates and glasses allowing me to hold a corner of the table mat up so that the liquid wouldn't spread even more.

"I swear it wasn't on purpose," her body tensed as if waiting for me to strike her.

I paid her no mind and used each side of the towel to clean the table before replacing everything except the gathered dishes.

Luckily, I already had finished my food or that too would've ended up in my lap.

I had already forgotten the girl and sat back against the wall while waiting for Veronica to come collect me.

The others, as far as I knew, were fast asleep upstairs while I planned to get the meeting with Uncle done and over with.

I was getting a little impatient since plans had already been made to surprise Nyxis with a romantic dinner later on.

I opened my eyes to find the girl still standing before me like an obedient student to their teacher.

She asked when noticing my gaze, "You're not mad?"

Shaking my head, "As I said, accidents happen. So, don't worry about it."

I smiled while pulling a coin pouch from Penumbra.

Reaching in and counting thirty pieces before handing them to the lass, "Ten for the cleaning, twenty for the food and here."

I pulled out another fifteen pieces, "these are for you."

The girl hesitantly took the gold for herself and placed it into a small pocket on her left hip, "Thank you my Lord."

She started to leave with most of the dishware but stopped and turned back toward me, "If I may ask, where did you hear that lullaby?"

I answered with a sense of surprise in my voice, "It was the song my mother used to sing for me when I was little. You see, I was plagued by night terrors and my mother would sing me this song to soothe me."

"I'm surprised you knew it was a lullaby," I shook my head in disbelief.

The girl chuckled, "My Ma sings it to me from time to time. She heard it from a woman she once looked up to."

My smile brimmed when the girl left with arns full of dishes and stumbled toward the kitchen door.

I willed Orion to follow and act as a hidden second pair of hands in case the load became unstable.

Jumping from my lap, I watched his fox body change into that of a large dog sized spider that scurried up the wall before anyone truly noticed.

I watched the girl a little more as she continued down the aisle gathering even more dishware that sat on empty tables along the way.

Orion used some silk to catch falling plates here and a mug there but the girl managed to make it back into the kitchen before coming back out again with tankards of ale.

Time spent in the restaurant part of SwallowTail was quite dull which was a welcomed relief as I closed my eyes and searched for the small incantations placed in the shadows of the paid room.

The void of my eyelids slowly changed to the pearled white walls of the room complemented by the dark wooden floor.

After surveying the room for any intruders, I found myself watching the faint movement of Nyx's chest as she slumbered fully clothed on top of the elegant blankets.

She groggily cascaded into the bed while I placed her rapier in the corner so she could sleep more comfortably.

I was tempted to leave her alone but gave into her constant pleas to join her and found myself fast asleep with her head on my chest.

I smiled as her arm was still draped over the opposite side of the bed when Orion climbed on my shoulder.

"Uncle is ready…brother," Veronica's voice finally sounded in my ears.

I opened my eyes to gaze upon her, "You have a spider on your shoulder."

I looked to the side and saw Orion's eight eyes glaring at me as venom dripped onto my coat.

I shrugged, "Orion, did you know there is a spider on my shoulder?"

Orion's body jerked up and down with fangs clicking together as if laughing.

I smiled when Veronica retorted, "I see you've gained father's humor."

She chuckled as Orion morphed back into his fox form, "Anyway, uncle is ready to see you now."

"Bout damn time, I was getting bored waiting," I grumbled a little.

"The least you could have done was to get an Inn with decent literature," I stood up after Orion jumped off my shoulder.

I allowed Veronica to lead the way through the crowded place and was stunned by how much she changed over the years.

She now wore a finely tailored blue dress that stopped just above the ankles allowing the ability to walk without treading on it.

A wide leather band encircled her slim waist that helped hold back loose fabric.

Silver armlets bejeweled in rubies sat over lush green sleeves that bound around the middle and ring fingers much like an archer's glove.

The image of our mother took over for a brief moment that froze me in place before returning to normal.

[(I wonder if she sees father briefly when gazing at me.)]

Shaking the unease away, "I'm glad I'm no longer a noble."

"I'd hate to dress like that," I smiled as my arms rested against the back of my head with each following step.

Veronica rolled her eyes as a balding man coming into the restaurant held the door open for us with a kind courtesy.

She informed me of many topics currently being discussed in our absence though each eventually ended with my sudden reemergence.

As I had predicted, many of my Uncle's advisors were attempting to persuade him to order my arrest or outright kill me.

They all feared that I'd try and exact my vengeance for being sold off to some slaver.

If I were being true with myself then their fears were well placed though now such feelings were buried.

I didn't care nor understand why Veronica went through the trouble of telling me that people wanted to kill me and the plans slowly being made to improve the Slums.

That changed when my attention peaked at the mention of our family home, "Wait…you plan to restore the manor?"

Veronica didn't say anything until we reached the crossroads of the Noble Quarter and the Entertainment District.

She stopped in front of the majestic bow wielding seraphim fountain, "That was my intention, do you abject?"

"Why would you want to?" I asked while pushing past a wall and a red haired Farkas man.

Veronica looked at me from the corner of her eye when I finally stood beside her.

She had a somewhat disapproving look, "We are the last to carry on the VonKnight legacy, Einor."

She pulled a gold coin from a secret pocket and tossed it into the fountain, "To do that, I believe the manor would be a great starting point to accomplish that goal."

"To be honest, I'd also like to see Creideamh outlined in the waking sun from the Northern Guard Tower once again," she gave a small grin to a small child making their unobtainable wish.

Creideamh, the name of the VonKnight Manor which derives from the ancient Dökkálfar word for Faith.

Mother would often say, "Faith is the foundation that our family is built upon. Faith in whether the armor we wear protects us or the weapons we wield strike true. To have faith in those you consider family, and most importantly, faith in yourself."

I spoke the long known truth, "Our legacy died with them, Veronica."

She didn't say anything as we continued on, "We are nothing but shadows waiting to disappear and you know this just as I do."

"Our name is just that, a name. A name that holds no power or intrigue. A name that dies with uncle," I almost ran into Veronica when she stopped suddenly.

She turned to face me with tear filled eyes, "I know that more than anyone, Einor. You're not the only one who has suffered for twelve long years ever since that day!"

She walked over to a nearby building to hide her face, "I not only lost mother and father, but I lost you as well."

I stared down people looking to see what was going on as she continued, "For nights, I couldn't sleep knowing that I was alone. Day after day since their funeral, I climbed the Northern Tower hoping to see our home that we cherished so much like we often did."

"Instead, all I saw was crumbling ruins surrounded by scorched earth," I could hear her faint whimpers through covering fingers.

[(Would I feel the same way if our roles were reversed?)]

It felt like my mind was being torn in two halves that had their own desire demanding to be accomplished.

The half roused awake by being back in Ironclad seemed to be commandeering my thoughts little at a time.

The other fought back in its own way by reminding me of the torment I faced.

I decided to go with the former half and placed a hand just underneath her convulsing chin.

Slowly, her figure turned toward me and didn't fight back when raising her head to meet my gaze.

"Wh-" her words became a faint gasp when I wiped away the trailing tears with the sleave of my coat.

I told her the words formed from my heart, "I apologize for only thinking of myself, Veronica. Deep down the idea of restoring what legacy we have left is something I too wish to see through until the end."

I moved past Veronica and headed toward a stall that had jewels on display while my mind tried to understand why it felt unstable.

Nothing caught my eye until the faint image of a boy in his seventh winter leaned against the stone wall of the behind store watching me.

He wore a light blue tunic embroidered with gilded spiral floral designs.

The pale grey of his skin brightened the mismatched eyes smiling as he began to fade away with the knowledge his job was done.

That lad was possibly the last anchor tying me to the past I once held and the last shred of fading humanity held within.

[(You win this round.)]

I heard Veronica walking behind me as I felt a wave of confused joy coming from her.

"Br…brother," she sheepishly spoke from behind me.

[(What is the matter now?)]

Sighing, I turned to discover that her head was bowed to a point stray strands of hair hid most of her face.

She wrapped her arms around me so unexpectedly that I didn't have time to abject to such a show of emotion.

I felt her body tremble with each muffled tear that was held for so long for this reunion.

My body felt rigid as I stood there with a surprised expression chiseled on my face and arms hanging limply on each side as she continued to cry on my shoulder.

Such affection coming from the sibling I long hated felt so unnatural that my mind froze.

[(If she keeps this up, I'll be drenched.)]

Wrapping my arms around her like she was a newborn, "That's enough tears, sister. People are starting to stare and I'd rather not be drenched."

I smiled when she began laughing a little at my observation.

Her eyes smiled as she spoke, "Give me this one Einor."

I wiped a tear from her cheek, "Let's get this over with."

"I have another engagement I'd like to keep," I led the way to the castle where our Uncle awaited us.

[(Uncle, I wonder what you look like now? Do you look like father would if he was around? Grandfather? Guess I'll find out soon enough.)]