20 Chapter 20

Chapter 20

This past few days, I notice how my mood and attitude changes. Those changes even affect my views over some things. Commonly, words like Andie's doesn't damaged me a lot, but now, I did take those words too deep.

I know within myself that was so childish. It's not the usually me.

I'm glad that even though my talk with Leo and Amanda were unclear, they still let it pass. I have this feeling that they're giving me time to adjust.

'Adjust from what? From my own self-doubting?'

My thoughts were really hazy. Even I can't take all the things I'm doing. I never been unsure with my actions but now, I really am.

The things in my head were redundantly spinning over and over. I'm being anxious with myself. And I don't why the hell I'm feeling this.

'Is it because of Andie's words?'

'Is it because of my adjourn conflict with Leo and Amanda?'

'Is it because of those secret I'm keeping?'

'Is it because my alpha existence in my life?'

The answer, I don't know, I really don't.

"Kyle, you okay?" I snapped out from my thought when I felt someone touched my back. It was Anna.

I know I slightly settled my concerns with Leo and Amanda, but right until now, I can still feel myself guarding its. That confirm me something.

'There's a problem within me.'

"Yeah, why?" I answered Anna.

"Ahmm, our research teacher asked about our papers. She said that since where the first group to finish our defense, we should give the raw copy of the validated sheets of the panelist." She said while fixing her glasses.

"Oh, yeah." Shoot, good thing our defense is done. "Yeah, I think it's in my bag. Wait I'll looked for it."

I grabbed my bag and searched for our papers. But hell, I can't find.

"Wait, Anna. I can't find it inside my bag, I think it's on my desk." I looked under my desk, but shit, there's no paper there!

'Shit, shit, shit! Where the fuck is that paper?!'

"Is there problem, Kyle?" She asked.

"No! I mean, wait, I'm looking for it." I said nervously.

"Are you sure? You're sweating a lot. Let me help you look for it."

I shook my head. "No need, I can do it."

Ten minutes had passed but I can't still find it. I'm nearly flipped my chair and desk but there's no paper appearing.

Anna tapped my back. "Did you lost it?" She asked.

My hands were trembling and I'm stuttering. "N-no, I didn't." I said.

My heads starting to get dizzy. My mouth's watering, near enough to make me want to vomit.

She was about to speak when Leo went near to us.

"Is there a problem here?" He asked.

"Kyle lost our papers, Leo!" I feel agitation in her. I can't help but to closed my eyes and pray to make the papers appeared.

'Come on, you damn papers!' I prayed.

"Papers? You mean our research papers?" Leo asked.

"Yeah, Kyle lost it." Anna said.

She's not that type who gets mad about petty things but if it's about studying, hell will rise and she'll turn into demon. I saw it before when she get mad at John for accidentally ruining her project last year. I'm the one who stopped her that's why I'm well informed of her violent side.

'Shit, I'm dead meat.' I cried in my thought.

"No, no!" That made us looked at Leo. He grabbed his bag and showed some papers. "I have it."

"Thank God! Hand me that, I'll pass it now." Anna said and her personality earlier diminished.

'That saved my ass.' I thought.

After Anna left, I walk towards Leo and held his shoulder. He looked at me with questioning eyes.

"Take me to clinic." I plead. I leaned my forehead on his chest.

He frowned. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head. "I'm feeling dizzy, I think I'll vomit."

"Can you walk?"

"Ye---"

"Nah, you look like you're about to pass out." He said then lifted me up. "I'll carry you, instead."

I can't make myself contradict him. I just closed my eyes and leaned on to him. Even with my eyes closed, I can feel the gazes from other people. I heard some whispers.

"That's Kyle, right? What happened to him?"

"Does he fainted?"

"Let's call Mr. Augustus!"

There's more but Leo hushed them.

"Excuse me, let us pass." Leo said.

Leo's still carrying me when I heard someone.

"Leo, what happened?" It was Mr. Agustus.

"Kyle feels sick, sir." Leo answered.

"Okay. Let's get him inside.

After a moment, I heard a door opened and I felt Leo entered a room and made me lay on a bed. I bet where at the clinic.

I heard Leo and Mr. Agustus talked to the nurse but I didn't bother to listened. I just let myself fell into deep slumber.

I don't know what time it is when I opened my eyes, I saw Amanda beside me. She's holding my right hand tightly and she's sleeping. I tapped her hand to wake her up.

"Amanda..." I called out her name but she's not moving even an inch.

"Amanda." Once more but nothing happened.

I called her again but now, it's louder. "Amanda!" She awakened , she immediately get up and looked around.

"What! What! Did Luffy won?! Did he beat Katakuri?! Where's my baby Law and Zoro?!" She yelled.

'Huh?'

I frowed. "Luffy? Katakuri? What the fuck are you saying?" She looked at me then blinked her eyes. I think she already realized the situation she was in because she sat again in the chair beside the bed.

"Kyle, you're awake!" She said happily.

I rolled my eyes to her. "Obviously, dummy!"

"Hidoi!" She even made face at me. "Anyways, how are your feeling? Are you still dizzy? Do you want water?"

I answered her. "I'm not dizzy anymore and water will do. "

She picked her bag at the floor and get a bottled water. She opened it and handed it to me.

"Here."

"Thank you. " I said then quenched my thirst with the water. I emptied the bottle and Amanda threw the bottle at the trash bin.

"You had me worry! You're seriously pain in the ass than me!" she nagged.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry." I said. "Where's Leo? Mr. Agustus?"

She sighed. "I asked Leo to go in your class already. We have no class in my class, so I volunteered to keep you accompanied here. While, Mr. Augustus went in his afternoon class since I'm here already. I also told them not to inform your parents about this not until you wake up."

"Is that so?" I said. "Thanks Amanda, good thing you didn't inform them yet. They'llbe sick worried if they find out about this."

Ever since our conflict, I began to feel more comfortable with her than before. Saying sweet words were now easy to hear at her. As long as she didn't mock me about it, I'm fine with it.

"You're welcome but there's also other reason why I asked them not to call your parents." She suddenly became serious.

I was confused. "What do you mean?"

She looked at me intently that made me gulp.

"Kyle... are you pregnant?"

Silence.

'Did I heard it right?' I asked in my thought.

I can't hear anything but Amanda's and my breathing. My heart's rampaging inside of my chest.

'I think I'm getting dizzy again.'

I tried to chuckled, thinking it's just a prank joke. "Hahaha... hahaha...haah..."

But Amanda is not laughing.

"Is that a prank question?" I trying my best to calm down.

She shook her head. "No. I'm serious. Are you pregnant?"

My heart shattered. "No... we're using protection... and I'm an recessive omega. It's hard to get me pregnant."

"Have you guys do it during your heat? He's a dominant alpha, right?"

I hesitantly nodded.

"Dominant alphas has the strongest pheromones of all gendertypes, even impregnating recessive omega like you is possible for them." She said. "Are you on contraceptive pills?"

I shook my head. "He's just using condoms..."

I heard her sigh. "Condoms... but you're in heat that time, we can't be sure..."

I looked at her with confusion. "Why are you asking all of this?"

She taking second thoughts before answering. "I talked to the nurse earlier when Leo and Mr. Augustus left. Don't worry, she promised to kept this between the three of us." She said. "And this is what nurse said, you're in pheromonal change."

I narrowed my eyes. "A what? Pheromonal change? Again?"

"Again?" She sounds suspicious.

I blushed and looked away. "N-Nothing!"

I heard her giggled and sat at the bed. "So... this happened before. When?"

I don't if it's possible to happen but I think my face is much redder than earlier.

"Oops! You're blushing!" She yelled and poked my face.

I slaped her hand. "I'm not!"

"Come on! No need to be shy~!" I swear she have this playful - naughty tone in her voice. "Spill it, Kyle-kun!"

I sighed in defeat. "Du-During our first..." I whispered.

"And?"

"I been into pheromonal change and I have to stick with dominant alpha to balance my pheromones." I answered in low tone.

"Eh, you stayed with him?"

I don't know what to answered. I can't say that my alpha run away after our first intercourse. I can't say that I use my father's scent to improved mine. That's embarrassing!

"Hngh... yeah?" I saw her nodded. "So, I'm sure I'm not pregnant. That must be wrong. "

"But, you're showing sign of pregnancy, Kyle." She said

I felt my face crumpled. "H-huh?" Now, I'm really scared of what she'll say next.

She added. "The nurse said that Leo told her that you're dizzy and you're about to vomit. You're skin is also pale and you're sweating a lot. But when the nurse checked your temperature, it's normal. You're also in some kind of emotional imbalance these days. She doesn't have any pregnancy test kit in her, so she asked me to told you to use one."

I felt like my body was dragged into space. I can't move an inch. I'm paralyzed because of Amanda's words.

"And Kyle, you know that your behavior gotten worst, right? From Tiger Kyle to Aloof kitty Ky--- Ouch!" I pulled some strands of her hair.

"Shut up, Amanda." I gritted my teeth.

"See? That's what I'm talking about!" She yelled. "Come on, Kyle. You should talk to your mate. Discuss this matter with him. So you guys should confirm if you're pregnant or not."

That day, Leo and Amanda insist on sending me home but I refused and told them I can do it. I arrived at our house safe and sound. That day also, I had battle within myself if I would tell my alpha or I wouldn't. To not or to follow Amanda's advice.

But the end, Amanda's words won.

I grabbed my phone and composed a message to my alpha. My shands were trembling while doing it.

'You use protection when we fuck, right?' Delete. Delete. Too vulgar.

'Did you left your semen inside of me?' Delete. Delete. Gross.

'I think I'm pregnant." I shook my head for the nth time. To straight forward, i don't even have evidence. Delete. Dele---

Sending... Sent.

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST DID?! I ACCIDENTALLY SEND THAT MESSAGE!

'Earth, eat me now!' I cried in I thought.

"Stupid, Kyle! You're so clumsy!" I faced palm. Then I grabbed my phone again to compose another message.

I was thinking right words to explain when my phone rang. Damn it, it's my alpha!

I cleared my throat before answering.

"Ahm, my alpha---" before I could finish ky sentence, he cut me off.

"Are you serious?" serious tone was drawn over his voice.

"H-Huh?" I can't heave an answer!

"Your text, is that true? Are you really pregnant?"

I don't know what to answer him. I.just found myself crying over the phone. All the shits I'm feeling just went down on me in just one snap.

I cried because it's possible that I'm pregnant. I cried beacuse my parents will be disappointed in me if ever I'm pregnant. I cried because I'm not ready to be a parent yet. But for all reasons, I cried because I don't know if my alpha will accept me if ever I'm pregnant.

For a moment, I'm just there, crying. Letting my alpha know what I feel and he didn't bother to speak any word.

I was breathing deep, gathering myself after crying when my alpha speak.

"You okay?" He said softly.

"Yes..."

I heard him sigh. This is also hard for him. "Kyle... are you sure about what you texted me?"

"I don't know... I'm having the symptoms of pregnancy. I'm still not hundred percent sure." I said honestly.

"Okay, that's good for now." I heard him sigh again.

I'm hesitant but I still asked. "Are you... mad?"

"About what?"

"Because of it... you don't want it, do you?" I asked.

He sighed. "It's not like not." I can hear frustration over his voice. "I told you remember? I don't want to ruined your future. You're still studying, Kyle. I know using condoms during heat doesn't have hundred percent assurance of not getting you pregnant but I still acted lightly. That's why I'm frustrated. "

"I'm sorry..."

"Shh... don't be." He said. "For now, we must make sure that you're not pregnant."

"And what if I am?" My heart's beating fast, I'm nervous about what he'll say. I trust him but I'm just really nervous right now.

"Then I'll stand for you. I'll ask for your hands to your parents. Then we'll raise the child together." He said lovingly.

Badum. Badum.

I held my chest. My heart's beating fast and I think it'll explode any minute from now.

'Damn his words. I'm melting."

"Now, you should find for trustworthy doctor for appointment." He said suddenly. "Do you know any doctor in your mind?"

I think the doctor I visited before was fine, but I have someone in my mind now. Someone who's important to me. I want to tell at least person close to me about my current condition.

"I have one in my mind." I said.

"Who is it?" He asked. I told him the person I'm pertaining to. "Him? Why?" I can hear him wondering about my answer.

"I want at least one person close to me knows about us and my current condition. Is that fine?" He went silent for a moment then answered.

"I think it's fine. I trust your decision."

I smiled. "Thank you, my alpha."

"Just for you, Kyle." He said which made my heart fluttered.

"Okay, I'll hang up no---"

"Kyle?"

"Yes?"

"Be safe, I miss you." He said followed by end call tone from my phone.

I shut my eyes closed and covered my face with my hands.

'Now, how can I sleep after that?' I thought.

Later morning, I told my parents that I'm going somewhere but I didn't told them where.

"But where are you going, Kyle?" Mother asked.

I think of an alibi. "Leo and Amanda asked me to go to mall with them. I don't know what time will I go home."

"I see. Take care, son." He said.

I nodded. "Yeah, bye mother."

'I lied mother, sorry.'

I rode a bus heading to my destination. My body's nervous during the whole ride. I composed my self when I arrived at my destination. The hospital.

I asked at the nurse station for the person I'm looking for and they told me the room where can I found him. I knocked three times at the his door but no one answered so I just went in.

The room was neat which suit his stoic personality. The room smells nothing. No fragrance at all. I figured that out already because since before, he never liked perfumes.

'You never changed.' I smiled for my thought.

I heard the door opened and I smiled widely when I saw the person who's entering.

Years passed since last saw him and I'm pretty sure that he didn't changed a bit but he looked more matured than I last saw him. He still have his usual black, shiny hair with a slanted sweep hairstyle. His think eyebrows looks perfect with his downturned golden brown eyes and long lashes. He has this pointed nose and bow shaped naturally pink lips, though he used to smoke during his teenage years but he stopped now, he said. For his face, he has this oval face and masculine jawline with 3-day stubble beard and set of moles on his face. Those moles was his best asset.

I envy his face, it's so manly while I have sissy look. His face looked perfect just set aside his deadpan stare and his 'I don't care' attitude.

'For sure, a lot of staff in this hospital drool over him.'

"Hey." I greeted.

I saw how his eyebrows frown, he cleared his throat before speaking. "What are you doing here?"

I clicked my tongue. "After five years and that's how you greeted me? How rude."

I saw seriousness at his face. "You entered my room without my permission and that's what you'll do after five years? How rude."

I stepped my foot on the floor. "You're mocking me!"

"I'm not." He said.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Don't you miss me? Where's our reunion hug?" I was about to hug him but he stopped my face using his hand.

"No, I just got from operation room. I smells like blood and chemicals, don't touch me." I saw him smiled a little like super little. You'll never notice it if you're not aware of his normal poker face expression. "Nevertheless... I miss you, Kyle. " he said with his stoic voice but I know he's happy to see me.

I smiled back at him. "I miss you too, Calix."

-DriewNrocinu