1 It's a One Shot!

I'm Markus Underwell, call me Mark, blah blah blah, YOU CAN GET THE BACKSTORY FROM THE OTHER FANFIC (An Unfortunate Nobody's {Forced} Adventure), MOVE ON IF YOU READ IT! I'M TIRED OF EXPLAINING MY BACKSTORY FOR THE SECOND TIME!

The title's also self-explanatory, so let's move on to the part where I casually get my ass to the World of RWBY~ Aw yes, Gunz + Weapons = Btter Weapinzoms~ Yeah yeah yeah!

Bullshit.

Just using a simple gun and a weapon is good enough.

You might be thinking, Am I a student of Beacon Academy? A professor? A doctor? A member of the hell group called schooling? A military grunt from Atlas or White Fang? Or a rare one, a normal bystander living his life? Good? Evil? Salem? Ozpin? Gods? BULLSHITTERY?!

Nah, I'm just a simple 9mm bullet cartridge in Military R Us store.

Am I joking? No.

Was I lying about the part when I was joking? Yes.

Did I say who I was? Hell no.

I'm not your typical MC who's used to controlling around from authors and fanfic writers. I act by myself, if you guys didn't know, and I can show you a HUGE COCK RIGHT NO-

OW! Fuck off, author! You can't control my character essence of being free! You're just a fucking messenger! Fuck off! Geeet your hands off me!

FUCK OFF!

...

"Here I am, once in the world of fukin RWBY again..."

"After the squable from the author, I managed to get rid of his dialogue, monologue, texts, whatever and only text messages like this one can only appear."

"So you'll just suffer along through the story, reading only message texts throughout the fukin' fanfic. Goodnight!" I waved my hands around to the viewers.

FUCK!

He managed to fix the texts again! Goddamnit! My plans of fucking up this fanfic has gone to shit!

Fuck you, I've got plan B, bitches!

...

Mark: YES~ THIS IS MY PLAN! FUCKING NEWBIE DIALOGUE WRITING!

Mark: Boring the viewers to death will surely make you go away!

Mark: Fuck this fanfic. FUCK IT ALL!

Mark: Nonnonnono, don't you dare-

...

Mark grasped his head as he moaned in loathing as he smashed his head through the concrete of the city multiple times. The residents did not look emotionless.

"FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK....." He cried out, eternal suffering can be heard from his voice.

"Fuck, you. I got... a plan C!" Mark snapped his fingers and the world itself changed once more.

...

Mark laugh

laught Mark

Mlaughtark

Mark laugth

laugthgjsfkhskjfjk Mark

Mark foupfikfm finegrs

Mark cirefdfs outfbhjk

...

After the failed attempt of wiping Mark's memories, Mark flipped to me.

Mark speaks as I, changed the fanfic once more, but a bit... Narrator like.

Aah, yes. I shouldn't be able to talk to you right now.

Good day.

...

"FuckinfanficwritermessingwiththefuckingfanficIjustwanttobeleftalone...." A cloud of depression appeared on top of the brown blazer wearing man. Knees crossed armed, head deep inside the legs. What got him so depressed?

"Hey gloom doom, what got you so down?" I asked the moody-looking dude. Said dude glanced from his knees and looked at me.

He had dark brown hair swaying from one side, brown eyes that almost represented sadness, very fair skin, and a strange fashion sense. I mean, really?

Brown Blazer, Grey T-Shirt, Navy Blue Pants, and a pair of Black Shoes. They all looked old and antique.

"Have I met you before?" I blinked at the sudden question.

"Uhh... No? You looked so helpless and looked like you needed a hand." Great, Xiao Long. You called the dude was helpless. Oop, he's frowning at that comment.

"I swear to every gods and real god, if that was a pun..." Yeeeesh. He's also a pun-hater. Wasn't even a pun though.

"Well-" He got up, showing that he was a bit taller than me. "you're right, on me being helpless. I do not need any help, thank you. Rooster Teeth. Great show. Go watch it. Red vs Blue. RWBY. Whatever." Dusting myself from the non-existent dust from my arms, I noticed a frowning Yang.

Shit. I said RWBY. I have to leave now, before she notices anything.

"Wait." A hand gripped on my shoulders before I went to leave.

"Yeah? Need something?" I asked as I turned to the narrow-eyed Blondshell.

"How'd know my team name?" Her eyes gleamed in red as she demanded where I got the information of Team RWBY. Mustering up my calmest poker face, I faced her.

"Team... Name? So you're a huntress?" Dammnit, that did not go so well! She gripped my T-Shirt roughly as she glared into my eyes.

"Stop playing dumb. No one knows Beacon Academy's Team Names in the public. There's no Rooster Teeth or RWBY. Who are you?!" She clenched her fists tighter in demand. You put me a good situation, haven't you?! AUTHOR!

"Cough, cough, cough.... You're choking me, I can't tell you..." I acted as if I was choking from Yang's tight grip. Yang immediately loosened the grip.

Yang widened her eyes as I held a certain object on my hand.

"I'm Batman." BOOM!

I always carry smoke bombs in my sleeves for this kind of situations! Smoke bombs are the most, USEFUL things in getting out of situations like this! YOU CAN'T CHANGE MY MIND!

[AN: Johnny B. Goode (From "Back To The Future" Soundtrack) plays]

Running myself to the nearest car I could steal, I commandeered a car with my sonic screwdriver and stepped on the gas.

BANG! CRACK!

Yeesh, look's like someone's angry.

"Come back here!" Fire covered around the Blond Bombshell as her eyes went red.

"I'm going to be dead if I do that!" I called out and drifted the car around. Sirens rang as I evaded the cops with ease, losing Yang in the process.

BANG! BANG!

Ducking my head from the bulletfire, I flipped the bird on those cops, sucessfully pissing them off unintentionally.

BANGBANGBANG!

"It's as if I was in Star Wars again! You guys shoot like fukin stormtroopers!" CRASH! I looked up at the surface of the car.

"Hi~ Umm, please stop the car?" Ruby's... Puppy eyes tried to stop me. She... really tried her puppy eyes to stop me. What the hell.

"No." I coldly stated, causing Ruby to flinch from the sudden coldness. Stepping on the pedal to stop, Ruby blinked as she was thrown flying away from the car.

And into the soft pillows she harmlessly landed. After crashing the car (later on) and ditching it, and I meet...

"Ice Queen." A tick formed on Weiss' head as she grit her teeth.

"Why does everybody call me that?!" Seriously, Weiss?

"One. You came from a family of Ice-using glyphs that look like snowflakes. Two. Snow is white and so are you. Three. Rapiers represent royal or noble weapons. Thus, Queen. Four. Weiss means white in german. Five. Right now, you're using Ice Dust..." I pointed at the Ice cylinder of Myrtenaster. She actually glanced at the ice mode in which she was using.

I sighed. "Manchmal kennst du dich einfach nicht." I quoted, throwing the smoke bomb square to Weiss' face as she dropped the rapier in shock.

Right, where's the last member of Team RWBY?

"Don't." Gambol Shroud's blade hovered near my neck.

"Blake Belladonna. Ex-member of the White Fang (good choice), currently the caretaker of RWBY and reader of the smut: Ninjas of Love, am I right?" Blake's grip on the katana loosened from the shock (that I knew that she was ex-member of the White Fang and etc.), and disbelief and blushed off-guard as I knew Blake's most common habits throughout the multiverse of reading smut.

"Though, I prefer the classics or the newer ones. Ninjas of Love SUKS!" Stomping her feet very HARD, she doubled over in pain and dropped the katana. Picking up the katana, I threw the weapon over the rooftops and ran.

Right, this is going all GREAT. I've sucessfully pissed off the entire police department, and the entirity of Team RWBY (excluding Ruby), digging myself a larger hole throughout the start of the fanfic, AND THIS THE FIRST CHAPTER!

I'm so screwed if I get caught. Wait. Lightbulb...

...

"Right, Neo. I know that working with Cinder was a particularly a bad idea, but-" CRASH!

"Sup. Roman Torchwick, greetings. Neo, hellur. Get your asses off here, because its going to be swarmed by huntsmen and police if don't. Seeya!" I waved a goodbye to them and left.

"... I take it back. These kids are the weirdest generation." Roman Torchwich pulled out a lighter from his pockets to light the cigar on his mouth.

Then I extinguished it. Pulling out a pair of matches from my blazer, I lit a match and lit the cigar for him.

"Those things kill you faster than anyone can say a comment about your fashion sense! Use matches, matches are way better!" I called out and left the warehouse.

"Okay, just... What the fuck?" Roman's cigar embers turned from orange flames to green healing fire.

...

BANG BANG BANG!

"Hippidy, hoppidy, the RWBY's plot story is my property..." I leapt through the warehouses, dodging multiple bullets from Emerald as she tried to hit me.

"STAY STILL!" I rolled my eyes.

"Why does everyone say to stay still? It's not going to work or anything, for that-" A huge Grimm tentacle gripped my body tightly. I let out a huff and closed my left eye.

"Seriously? Tentacle h*ntai? Emerald, you must have some weird fantasies about you and Cinder..." I muttered as the illusion disappeared. Emerald blushed in beet red from embarssiment. Mercury meanwhile chuckled at the joke.

Emerald glared at Mercury. "DO SOMETHING!" She shouted.

"Can't. He's already gone." He pointed at the last place I was. Emerald, obviously frustrated, looked like she was going to tear apart Mercury into pieces.

"While you two are having your lovely conversation, I would like both of you to sleep." SMACK! Dusting my hands, I left the two unconscious evil dooers.

Time for cinderella herself.

...

"Hi." Dodging a fireball through my shoulders, I glanced back to see the damage. I shrugged.

"You... You've. RUINED EVERYTHING!" Cinder's body flared with her half-maiden powers in hatred. I rolled my eyes.

"Weeeeell.... If you say it like that, I haven't TECHNICALLY ruined everything. The fall of the White Fang, your two lackeys arrested, your two 'phantom thevies' are now done with your shit, but I haven't ruined your chances of obtaining the Maiden's powers! Oh, wait. I did. Soorry?" I sheepishly apologised.

BOOM!

"I can't ruin everything per say, that's just physically impossible." Dodging, yes, dodging is fun.

BOOM! BOOM!

"Maybe I should try doing it. Dunno, do think that it'll work?" I asked.

BOOM BOOM! BANG!

Wikes. That's an explosion if I ever saw one.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Strangling my neck, she started to burn my insides as my head became orange to red. And exploded? Don't know why overheating the head will explode it...

"Welp, ya killed me. Are you done now?" I cracked my newly-formed head as my lifeless corpse was suddenly gone. Cindy looked at me in shock.

"Since I'm a mean person, I'm not going to pay you back. Instead, I'm going to deck you unconscious." BAM! Her unconscious body fell on the ground.

I'm almost close to ruining this fanfic now! Yay!

...

"And that's how you ruin the whole entire story of RWBY. Sorry, Monty Oum. I couldn't take it anymore." I slapped the notes on Ozpin's desk.

Sip...

"And I should believe... all of this?..." Ozpin replied with some disbelief.

"I'm not drunk enough to deal with this shit..." Qrow left, giving up on the bullshit.

"That is the most ridiculous story I have ever heard." Glynda crossed her arms.

"You caused a major-" "Shh. Ironwood, Jimmy, whatever... Just let me ruin the story." I hushed General Ironwood.

"HEY! COME BACK HERE!" Winter charged with sisterly love, enraged at the fact that I threw a gas grenade instead of a smoke bomb at Weiss-

Screen CHANGE!

...

"MMMmmm! MMMmmm!" Adam Taurus' cries of hatred were muffled by a mouthgag on his mouth. Beep, beep.

"Shaddup, Imma deal your ass to the White Fang, kay?" I threw his body on the HQ of the White Fang. Beep, beep.

"Human..." Sienna Khan growled out in hatred. I flipped her off to shut up. I brought up a medium-sized technological device on the HQ. Beep, beep.

"ThisisaportablenuclearbombthatisenoughtodestroytheHQsodon'tbestupidandIgottagoruintheplotsobye!" I turned the tactical nuke on inside the HQ, leaving very shocked members of the White Fang. Beep, beep.

BEEP!

...

"Scorpions are nasty." I commented as I ripped the tail of Tyrian.

"They just... have these stings, ya know? Impressive, but not enough to get the ladies." I ignored the screams of pain from the Scorpion man as I stabbed his own tail through his heart.

"Speaking of..." I glanced at the dumbstruck Raven, in which I menacingly stepped towards her.

"Take care of your daughter or I'll kill her for you so you won't deal with the horrors of taking children- Hey. Rude. That's my arm."

...

"..." Salem stared at me with an unamused expression. I shrugged, even though I was tightly entangled from the real huge Grimm tentacles.

"So..." I began. She raised an eyebrow.

"Wanna talk about humans, and how stupid they are?" I suggested.

...

So, so far I've successfully ruined the whole plot...

Yay.

Now fuck off.

[AN: Please review.]