1 Things to say

Dima Dubin is tired.

He has never felt this way towards anybody before. What was happening now didn't fit into any rule book or past experience. It's getting harder to ignore every day. He wants to be honest, but it's clear that this won't lead to anything good.

***

"What are my weak points, I wonder?" the voice of Igor is echoing in the head.

Too close. He can't think straight. It takes a lot of will power for Dima to just ignore major's muscular body and a lot more to form his thoughts and answer. This is irritating and ridiculous.

Nevertheless, this stupid feeling keeps punching him in the stomach on everyday basis. Dima really wants to let it go and confess to Grom. Only there is a fat chance of losing his partner for good, burning everything they have. And even that thought is just terrifying.

***

But Grom knows how to destroy any remaining hopes.

During another investigation, they were talking about relationships, and the major told his partner:

"You know, the last time I met someone was four years ago. She was the cool one, super confident, beautiful. We went to the movies all the time. Then she moved to Moscow, had to leave." Igor sighs sadly, "And I'm single ever since..."

"Do you miss her?" asks Dima.

Grom shrugs. "Nah. It's been ages."

Dima slowly nods. The message is clear. He likes girls. Up to this point, Dubin didn't have a clear understanding of the major's orientation. Now he knows. Girls. Cool, confident and beautiful. He has zero chances.

***

Sometimes Dima even doubts that Igor needs him as a partner. Was he just imposed on him, as constant inconvenience?

Another clash with a criminal gang made him think about it again.

"Get back!" Igor shouts as they stand in front of a crowd of men armed with bats and crowbars. He's ready to fight.

"No! I can stand for my…" Dima has no time to finish, Igor grabs him by the collar and hisses.

"I said move away!" Grom pushes him back and rushes to the group of thugs.

Dima falls on the ground and loses his glasses. He tries to find them, but he can't turn his widened eyes from this blurred figure, that he can always recognize. Grom swiftly moves through the gang, breaking noses and knocking out teeth. They're very disorganized and seem to be surprised by such fierce fighting style.

Dima notices one blurred shadow that is definitely going to backstab Igor. He deftly gets on his feet and instantly fires his taser. There's this distinctive electric sound. The figure turns towards Dubin. He missed. Fuck. But in a split second this person joins his friends groaning on the ground. Grom took him down with one hellish strike.

The fight ended few seconds later with the arrival of reinforcements. They arrested a dozen of gang members and tried to pursue those who managed to run away.

There's only one thought in Dubin's head; he rushes to Igor. "Are you hurt?"

Grom turns towards him. His face is a mixture of anger and bewilderment. "Do you want to get your face smashed and nose broken? Are you having a death wish or something?" the major asks furiously.

Dima searches for deep wounds or broken limbs. He sighs with relief. "I'm sorry, of course not." Fortunately, Igor only got few bruises and scratches. "But maybe I'm not as useless as you think," Dima's voice cracks a little.

Igor explodes, "I give orders here! Me! Keep that nonsense to yourself." He pokes at Dubin's chest. "I need you to listen to me. If you can't, then just leave the force. Is that clear?!"

Why would he even need Dubin then? Since Igor considers him so weak and incapable of anything. Dima frowns. "Clear. Got it." The last thing he wants is losing his chance to become a policeman.

With his hands in pockets Grom walks away irritated and angry. After quick search for lost glasses (he found just bits and pieces) Dima follows him, afraid to say a word. Will he always just watch his back? Will he always be just a nuisance? Is there any point for his stupid feelings towards Igor to exist if Grom clearly does not even perceive him as a full-fledged partner?

No matter how hard he tried, he was always treated as if he were small.

***

Igor hates almost anything that Dima likes. So probably falling in love with him wasn't the best idea of his stupid heart, brain or whatever.

During six months of working with Grom, Dubin learned a lot.

For example, music Dima listens to is gay, his "normal diet" is nonsense, shawarma with potatoes is weird, and his favorite tv series is completely absurd.

Sometimes it seems to him that he annoys Igor simply by existing.

"I bought you your perverted sugar burst," says the major, handing his partner a cup of coffee.

"Thanks. Did you try it? It's pretty good," Dima replies.

"Whatever. I wouldn't drink that thing ever, willingly at least"

"What are you drinking?"

Grom hands him his mug. Dubin takes a sip of the scalding liquid, feeling a strong bitterness on his tongue. Surprisingly, it is quite nice and has interesting aftertaste. But Dima is not used to coffee this strong and without sugar, he winces a little.

"Don't like?"

"It's not bad," Dima admits. "But mine is still more to my liking."

"Well, continue to drink this muck," Igor laughs.

Dima knows that Grom has no desire to offend or hurt someone's feelings, he is just rough and straightforward. And they are simply too different.

Even if Igor liked men, he would never be interested in Dima.

***

Igor doesn't seem to like spending time with him outside of work.

Every time Dima comes to visit, Grom constantly grumbles. At least now he doesn't kick him out after 5 minutes. Sometimes they spend hours going through details of crime scenes, studying case files, developing criminal profiles. Still, most of the times when Dubin tells him something, Igor is busy with another thing of his own, only making rare teasing comments. Occasionally the major is kind and behaves more friendly, but this almost never happens.

One day, when they are free after work, Dima jokingly calls him to the cinema.

Suddenly, Igor agrees.

They stand at the box office, wondering which movie to go to.

"You've got this," says Grom and leaves somewhere.

The choice is not great: cartoons, horror and romantic comedy.

And given Igor's earlier reaction to the poster of the romcom at the entrance, "No way I'm going to watch this." There were only horrors and cartoons to choose from.

Dima had enough horrors at work.

"I bought you caramel popcorn, kiddo," he hears Igor's voice from behind.

Dima turns around. A bucket of popcorn and soda are shoved into his hands. Dubin thanks him, but deep down he is a little annoyed.

Why the hell is he treated like a child again?

"By the way, what are we going to watch?" Grom asks.

Dubin realizes something. "Animated film."

"Do you mean cartoons?" Igor snickers.

Dima sighs. "Yes."

God damn it. Once again he confirmed his immaturity.

They enter the hall and take their seats.

"Dragon's breath" — the title of the film pops up at the beginning.

Cheerful cute animals help small dragon to find his lost family. In the process they eventually become one.

Dima likes it.

Igor sits most of the time with an absolutely indifferent face, only occasionally softly smiling at some interesting twists on the screen.

"Feels like a date," Grom smirks.

Dima chuckles, pretending that this joke amused him. He would really like it to be a date.

"That was awesome. We should totally go when sequel comes up. Did you like it?" he asks Igor hopefully when they leave the cinema.

"No," Igor answers, "Kids' stuff."

"It wasn't so childish," Dubin tries to defend himself.

"Yeap, whatever you say," Grom pats his head, chuckling.

Dima does not know what he is feeling — irritation, affection, despair, or all at once.

Noticing his sour face, Igor smiles, "Don't pout like that, I'm just kidding."

Dima smiles back at him. For a moment, their gazes meet, and at once they freeze. Ten seconds go by, they're just looking at each other.

"What's happening?" flashes through Dubin's head.

Maybe now? Should I confess, dazzle Igor with it and just run away?

Like that and no more burdens.

"I...", Dima starts, but stammers.

"What?", Grom leans a little lower, staring at him.

The tension between them increases. The silence goes on.

Dubin realizes, he can't stand such a gaze of his beloved eyes, and he can't bear the thought of them to be filled with disgust and hatred.

"My bus!" suddenly exclaims Dima, noticing the bus he usually takes, and rushes to it. "Bye, Igor!"

Grom waves him, shouting, "See you tomorrow, partner!"

Already sitting on the bus, Dubin thanks fate for giving him an excuse to escape just in time.

Otherwise, he wouldn't have resisted. What a strange feeling he experienced when Igor was looking at him like that? Maybe Grom has guessed that his partner is in love, and just mocking him now?

Dubin wasn't sure about anything, except one thing — a little more, and he would have given himself away.

***

Someone called to Yulia's apartment probably around midnight.

After opening the door, the girl found Dubin with slightly battered face. She was frightened. Then Yulia got scared even more when she learned that it was Igor's work. But few minutes later after treating his bleeding lip, having already understood the situation, she couldn't stop laughing.

"Did I get it right: you kissed him, thinking that he would hit you, but he kissed you back, and you were so excited by this that you hit him first, and then he smacked you too?"

"Yes..." Dima moans, applying frozen corn to his jaw, "It's not funny, Yulia!"

"Very funny!" Pchelkina laughs.

Dima rolls his eyes. "I'm a complete dumbass. And I was super worried."

"It happens," the girl shrugs. "It seems to me that you just need to talk to him."

"Do you think it will help?"

"I'm sure of that"

"And if he doesn't want to see me again?" Dima asks sadly.

"Dima, what are you talking about?" Yulia smiles, "He kissed you. It means something. Feelings don't go away so quickly."

"Yes, but what kind of feelings are there now?" Dubin sighs.

"Tell me in more detail how it all happened," Yulia asks.

Dima begins the story.

***

That was the end of the long dangerous investigation, which turned out to be a huge success. They rarely celebrate such occasions, because in their line of work someone is always going to get hurt. But this time streets became more safer without sacrifices.

The party arranged in honor of such flawless win swiftly transformed into a wild revelry as it does every time.

Tired, cheerful, still more or less sober Grom went to get some fresh air. It was pretty warm late evening.

A couple of minutes later, Dubin walked out after him. Today Dima lightly sipped some bear, but really, he was more tired than drunk.

"Oh, Dima!" shouted Grom, noticing the approaching partner. "Come here!"

Igor put his arm around Dima's shoulders, hugging him. Dubin's heart almost stopped from this.

"Well, do you like the weather?" Igor asked somewhat out of topic.

"I think It's nice."

"Me too."

They were silent for a moment, watching the flock of birds flying in the sunset sky.

"What would I do without you, Dima?" Igor muttered somehow sadly.

Dubin sighed. He'd never forget the day he has heard something like this from Grom. Yes, it was right after the fight against the Plague Doctor at Vmeste's headquarters. Dima almost lost Igor that day and… almost kissed him.

Dima wanted to respond in kind. But a slightly drunk mind gave him a desperate idea.

Of course, his nose will most likely be broken, but it was necessary to ease his heart.

Now or never.

"Igor."

"Yes?"

"Can I do something?"

"Anything today," the major said, tousling Dima's hair.

How much did Igor drink?

"Only you, most likely, won't like it very much," Dubin admitted.

"Well, let's see," Grom concluded confidently, putting hands on his belt, as if preparing for something.

Dima was hesitating. The seconds dragged on inexorably. He stood, clenching fists, trying to gather his strength. Tears started to appear in his eyes.

"How long are you..." Grom noticed Dima's strange state. "What's wro…" He had no time to finish the question, when Dubin's hands grabbed his jacket and pulled Igor closer.

Dima quickly pressed his lips to Igor's, froze for a second, feeling Grom's breath, and just as abruptly drew back, almost jumping few steps away.

He looked at the major with a mixture of excitement and fear, seeming to be in shock from himself.

Dima was expecting that now Igor would just hit him in the face and leave.

But that did not happen.

Grom frowned for a second, thinking about something, and then, giving out a short but capacious "fuck", he took a couple of steps towards Dima, wrapped his hands around Dubin's head and kissed him for real, crushing his partner's soft lips with his own.

Dubin didn't immediately understand what was happening, and with every second of the kiss, his level of anxiety and excitement rose higher and higher until it reached its peak.

Shocked by what had happened, he pushed Igor away and punched him in the face.

Igor obviously wasn't expecting this, swayed, pressing his palm to the place of impact, hissing.

He looked at Dima as if he were sick.

"What the fuck?!" groaned Grom and punched Dubin back somewhere in the area of his chin.

Dima flew back, falling on the ground. For a few seconds he was just sitting there motionless, looking at Igor. The split lip was bleeding. Soon after the hit, half of the jaw was already swollen.

Grom turned and walked into the department. Dima kept sitting on the ground.

What?! Did he just kiss me back? Dubin buried his face in his hands.

Why?! Why do I always fuck everything up?

He didn't want someone to see him in this state, so he swiftly went away from the police station.

***

"The greatest detective duo," Yulia thought with a smile, seeing Dima off, "didn't even notice the elephant in the room." When the door closed behind him, she went to bed, hoping that the two idiots could make up without her help and build their relationship normally.

It's been clear to everyone for a long time that these two are in love with each other, but the guys themselves are like blind puppies.

Fifteen minutes later, the doorbell rang again. Yulia thought that Dima must have forgotten something.

But Igor stood on the threshold. His face was darker than a thundercloud.

"Come in," Pchelkina sighed, letting him into the apartment.

***

"Are you sure he is okay?" Grom asks.

"For the third time, yes!" she exclaims. "Dima was here half an hour before you."

"You can't even imagine what he did," says Grom, quickly finishing his cup of tea.

"I already know."

"Seriously? And what did he say?"

"He regrets punching you."

"Yeah, right… Why is he so strange? He pulls to kiss, then fights." Igor sighs. "But I probably drank more than I should've and…" He stares for a moment at his hands, then clenches his fists. "I smacked him back, Yulia. I'll never forgive myself for that. I just hope there's no concussion."

"I've already told you like three times." She gently puts her hands on his fists, slowly spells each word, "He is alright."

"That's a relief. When I came back with a first aid kit, Dima was already gone. He's left his phone and backpack at the police station. And didn't go home. I've checked."

"Yes, he walked straight to me". She smiles wearily. "Igor, Dima was extremely worried. He is too young and inexperienced. And besides, he didn't expect, that you'd react positively to a kiss," Pchelkina explains.

"Didn't expect?!" Igor exclaims indignantly. "Did he tell you that?"

Yulia nods.

"Then he is either a fool or blind!" Grom growls. "I've already made it clear a million times that I'm single. And what about everything else I've done for him?"

"For example?" Pchelkina looks at him with interest.

"I bought him that nasty coffee, always defended him in fights. I even went to the movies with him to see these fucking cartoons!" Grom shouts.

"Well, did you like watching cartoons?" the girl asks, smiling.

Igor looks away. "Yes. But I didn't tell him that."

Yulia laughs, "This is the problem you know?" She proceeds, "You and Dima are both clearly have feelings for each other," Pchelkina smirks, "and both of you are dummies I've never seen before. He must have misinterpreted something."

Grom says nothing, thinking intently.

Pchelkina watches him closely. "I told him the same. Surprisingly, all your problems can be easily solved if you just learn how to talk about your feelings. Do you follow?"

"I guess. You're right. I should've just asked him," Igor slowly answers. Suddenly he jumps up, without finishing his second tea mug, and walks to the door.

"Thank you, Yulia. I figured out how it should be," he shouts, leaving the apartment.

Yulia closes the door. "Yeap, and I hope no one will screw it up," she thinks, "Or I'd personally lock them up in the Prokopenko's storage room until they properly talk to each other".

***

Dima returns to his flat. He can't make himself to sleep: his brain constantly tries to come up with a speech in which Dima would explain everything to Igor and apologize. So far, it turns out to be awful, but he doesn't give up.

From this reasoning he is distracted by the sound of the doorbell. Dima goes to open it.

Igor stands in the stairwell, holding shawarma in one hand.

"Why are you here?" Dubin asks stupidly.

"I liked this fucking 'Dragon's breath'", Igor admits, looking in the light green eyes.

Then there's a silence. He holds his gaze for too long, until it becomes extremely unnerving. Grom tries to gather his thoughts.

"That's all?" Dubin whispers, averting his eyes.

"No, here," he says, handing the shawarma to Dima. "With potatoes," he adds, "because I love you."

Dima feels like he's going to faint.

"I'm sorry I hit," he can only squeeze out of himself.

"Don't worry about it", Igor smiles. "Are you okay? Look how swollen."

"It's fine."

Grom comes closer and gently touches his partner's right hand. "Are you going to punch me again?" He warmly holds Dubin's fingers and slowly brushes his knuckles. It seems to bring Dima some comfort.

"I should've just told you before…" Dubin sighs deeply. "The kiss." He looks up to Grom. "I have feelings for you too."

Their gazes meet and everything freezes again. But this time Igor leans closer and carefully presses his lips to Dima's. Dubin feels slight pain from the split lip, but more so he melts from the concern Grom's trying to communicate past their lips without actually speaking. Igor slightly deepens the kiss when his partner opens his mouth.

Grom gently embraces Dima and closes the door behind them, dragging his partner inside the apartment.

A moment later Igor lies on the sofa, hugging Dima with one hand as his head rests on Grom's chest. Both of them are undoubtedly tired and Dubin quickly falls asleep with a peaceful smile. Igor slowly caresses Dima's back and then finds his rest too.