1 My Kazoos Are Gone!

Her flower petal-soft fingers massaged Syth's bareback. As she lied down on top of Syth, he could feel the warmth emulating from her two earths. As they slid up and down his back, Syth was in heaven. Her seducing lips found its way to his ears.

"Mmm, please continue." Syth was in a maximum pleasure massage by the most gorgeous woman known to mankind.

"Wake up," She said.

"Hmm? I didn't hear you." He replied.

"Wake up," She said again.

"No, beautiful. Let me sleep a little longer." Syth stretched his arms towards the voice. With his eyes still closed, he puckered his lips. "Gimme a kiss, and I'll get up. Chu…"

"Here's your kiss."

He heard a rough deep voice answer him. Syth was confused. What did his idol sound like again? Opening his eyes, all he could see was a large fist approaching his face.

BANG.

The owner of the fist was Tilo, his roommate and best friend. Tilo is uptight and honest. When helping others, he doesn't hold back a thing, not even his punches.

"You didn't need to punch me. I was already awake." Syth rubbed his forehead in pain.

"Would you rather me kiss you instead?"

"Um… only if you're okay with it," Syth answered, gently stroking his cheek, and acting shy. With a petite grin, he winked provocatively at Tilo.

"Pteh. Not even a man would want you." Tilo walked out of the dorm room wearing a full black uniform with the school's insignia knitted on. He carried a matching backpack, and dark shoes as well.

As Tilo left, he took one last glance at Syth who was still winking at him. He gave the middle finger before he left, still disgusted by Syth's act. After all, he wasn't gay.

"Wait a minute, why'd he wake me up?" Knowing Tilo, Syth knew Tilo wouldn't wake him up for no reason. He checked the calendar on the wall. Today was the Annual Freshman Greeting Ceremony, the only opportunity to recruit new blood to his dying club.

Scrambling off his bed, Syth spent only a minute getting fully dressed. His tie was barely hanging on, and his entire uniform was unkempt and wrinkled. Without brushing his teeth, Syth jolted out of the apartment carrying a homemade banner and a notebook.

The Annual Freshman Greeting Ceremony was the once a year event where naive and foolhardy students were tricked into worthless clubs only to realize a month later they had unknowingly wasted time and effort for nothing.

His club was one of those worthless clubs. In his university, Apple Fall Institute of Technology, Syth was the founding father of the Extreme Kazoo Development Club, the only club in the entire universe to research and develop the world's finest kazoos.

If only other people were as interesting in kazoos as he was…

Arriving at the site, the venue was packed to the brim with new students. The joyful music complemented the innocent children as Syth marveled at the vast number of potential members.

Last year Syth was able to catch 4 students which were more than enough to fit the 5 person quota for a club to continue. Even though all 4 of the new members left within the first week, Extreme Kazoo Development Club lived to see another year.

"This year, I will trick, NO! persuade 5 people to join my club. MUAHAHAHA"

Syth walked to his stand where he found Rodney, the vice-president of the Extreme Kazoo Development Club. Rodney was trying to rope in more students but to no luck.

"Rodney! I'm here to help!" Syth called out confidently.

"Syth, you're finally here. Take out the banner. Quick quick." Rodney was panicking.

"How is recruiting going?" He asked as they pulled out the colorful banner.

"Not good. The other club recruiters are targeting us after that stunt you pulled last year."

Last year, Syth placed a recording of kazoos playing in multiple club rooms in hopes of attracting new members, but all they attracted was hate. Syth didn't understand why. All he did was play music.

Now all the other clubs were badmouthing his club to every person who walked by. Even if Syth's club wasn't as they described, who would join a club without any good reputation. At least the other worthless clubs had a shred of reputation unlike Syth's.

"Don't worry. I'm here." He patted his hand on Rodney's shoulder.

"Syth…" Rodney was relieved.

"Sorry to break your moment, but what does your club do?" A tall blond-haired boy asked.

"I'm glad you asked. We are the Extreme Kazoo Development Club. The club in the world to research the fascinating discoveries one can find in the simplest tools." Syth exclaimed.

His arm was wrapped around the student, preventing an attempt to escape. If persuasion doesn't work out, then he can always try other methods…

"Only by studying the intricacies of the simple but humble kazoo can a true researcher understand the world to the fullest extent. Now, will you explore this wonderful creation with us?"

Syth definitely deserved a reward for his speech. With his confident manners and brilliant lies, he was confident he could rope in anyone. Except for girls. For some reason, girls never fall for his bullsh*t. It was as if they had some type of intuition save them.

"Kazoos? You don't do needles?" The boy pointed at the banner.

"Needles?" Syth stared at the banner. It read "Extreme Needle Development Club"

"Yea, Syth, what are you talking about?" Rodney joined in.

Syth was confused. As he took a quick look around, he became more flustered. Other club's banners read "Sword Dancing Club", "Spear Hopping Club", Arrow Curving Club. Everything was related to war and weapons.

"What the hell is going on?" He pulled Rodney closer by his collar. Syth was going crazy.

"Rodney, we are at Apple Fall Institute of Technology, right? The college for Technology?" Syth questioned. He felt like he was in another world.

"Syth. We're at Apple Fall Military Academy. Are you okay?" Rodney was worried.

"Oh my god, where am I? Am I going insane?" Syth could swear on anything that he was going to a college for Technology and not a military school.

Even if he was going to a military school, which military school would bother using swords or spears when they had guns. His mind was going blank.

"This must be god's punishment for not brushing my teeth this morning." Syth feel over and fainted.

"SYTH!"