1 Life Sucks

--An: Also check out my other novel: Soul Fusion Online--

Ever ask yourself when your knight in shining armor will come? Ever wish that those fictional characters were real? Ever play an otome game so much you actually get sucked into the world for real? All these questions… "Are shit..."

I let out a sigh as I sprawled out on my desk. Class was about to start but my eyelids felt heavy. I ended up playing my favorite game, Magical Love, from start to end last night going through each route for the one-hundredth time. Even though I have played the game over and over, I just can't get enough of the male leads. Especially Able's route. As for my internal questions just now… Well, I end up asking myself these questions all the time. I wished to be sucked into an otome game so that maybe just maybe I could find the one I truly love. To experience what it is like to love.

Even those around me seemed to have better insights on relationships. My own experience adds up to about… Zero… Yes, I was what they call a virgin dreamer. Well… At least that is what I call it. At the age of fifteen, the number of boys I have talked to can be counted on one hand. I didn't mistake reality for fiction. I didn't wear an eye patch over my eye and think I had some kind of magical powers. No, I was basically plain Jane. Everything about me was normal. From looks to the way I dressed. Easily lost in translation.

"Rei!" "Rei!"

"Huh? Oh, Mai… What's the matter?" I asked, squinting my eyes as I lifted my head. I was so tired I wanted to do nothing but sleep.

"Are you muttering some kind of weird chant? All your thoughts are spilling out and you're getting weird looks from everyone." My best friend Mai. We have been together since we were three years old. She is the only one who can seem to put up with me. In other words, she is my only friend…

But from what she said, I took a quick glance around the room and saw the eyes that seemed to be filled with mocking laughter and disgust. In other words, nothing new. Ignoring the room, I put my head back down and closed my eyes. I was too tired to care. "Mai, let them look. If they got nothing better to do than to stare at me then that just means they have taken in interest in me. Whether it is bad or good it is still an interest."

I could already feel the strange look Mai was giving me but I didn't care. I slowly floated off into dreamland. My day was as normal as ever excluding the fact that my classmates seemed to be avoiding me a lot more than usual. Sadly, unless I changed schools, my ability to gain a boyfriend any time soon to experience that thing called love was never going to happen. But even if I did do such a thing as change schools I bet within a few days it would be back to the same old, same old. I would need to change myself first before being able to change people's views about me. My thoughts on this were simple. If they didn't like me for me.. "Then screw them..."

After school, I said my goodbyes to Mai and headed home. My home life was nothing to speak of. My parents basically lived at work, except for on the weekends when my dad ran our family dojo. Which meant most of my meals mainly consisted of discounted bentos from the convenience store. As I entered my room I tossed my bag aside and walked straight to my bed falling face first onto it, scaring my cat. My arms and legs were spread out, it was very unlady like. Not that it mattered.

Rolling over onto my back I stared at my ceiling. "Is it wrong to dream about love?" I really wondered. I read many novels, manga, played Otome games, watched anime, movies, and TV dramas. At some point, my reality became distorted when it came to love.

"Ahh! I guess I will just get some food. Right Meowskers?"

"Meow!" The only one I can truly talk to about my inner thoughts and not get judged. My lovely Meowskers! He never judged me.

I got myself ready once again and headed out the door. They normally reduced the price of bentos around five, it was ten minutes too. It was not that I could not afford to buy a freshly made one. My parents always left plenty of money. It was just that I could use the money to buy other things like novels and games and such…

The evening sun was setting over the horizon casting an orange hue across the sky. The cool spring wind blew across my face as I waited to cross the street. If this were a novel or manga, it would be the perfect timing for the female lead to meet the male lead. They would be standing at opposite ends of the crosswalk. Their eyes would meet. A spark of interest would ensue. And from here their lives would be tangled together for all eternity. Or so I thought in my head. No such scene actually happens in real life but I at least could dream about it right?

I was completely lost in my own delusionary thoughts as I walked to the store. I walked right into the store not really paying attention to much of anything. Who would have thought that as I walked through the door I would get shot by someone? I only heard a few gunshots before my body felt limp and I slumped to the floor.

Never in my life did I think my life would end so early. I knew at that time I was going to die no matter what. It felt as if the life force that kept me going was slowly being sucked out of me. The last thing I saw before my eyes closed was a man in black running past me. The worst thing about this situation was the fact that I still had yet to even date a boy. With this thought alone I couldn't but mumble.. "Ahh, life sucks..."

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