1 Chapter One

The temperature reached its comfort peak that morning, falling like a blanket; without any air, it was a perfect condition to go out and take in the world with full equanimity. Birds had stopped chirping and feasted on the early hunt of worms crawling out of the ground to catch the morning dew. Splendorous rays of the heating sun drew light on the darkest spots of the neighborhood and settled on the windows of unsuspecting sleeping people. Julian yawned as the warmth of the light touched his cheeks, it felt like a slender, hand devoid of malignity was caressing him, beckoning him to come back to the world of the living. His eyes fluttered and the vision of his eyes, which blurred, had now refocused; he stared at the ceiling which was the only thing he could muster in his dazed still-slumberous wake. Compiling and recalling the memories of his dreams which did little to assist in his current grasp of reality, he stretched out while sporting a second louder yawn.

In heavy strides, he managed to get his legs off of the bed and planted his feet on the shaggy tanned carpet to let his toes curl into the strings of curled threads. He had a penchant for this trivial ritual and it gave him a sense of feeling grounded, attached to the mortal world where he didn't have to worry about nightmares. During his sleep, Julian found very little in the form of actual comfort; plagued by nightmares since a young age took a toll on his outlook on restfulness. Breathing in the morning air with the eventual intent to get up, he parted with the heavy blue blanket that he'd slept with for years since his mother gifted it to him. Up and at 'em, with heavy still-somnolent steps, he got up and walked a few paces towards the window to look out and find himself a landscape where soft pastel yellows and gritty oranges mixed in the open canvas of the sky.

Something about this city called out to him every morning, he wasn't crazy or anything, but he couldn't help but feel like there was something special hidden in that call to him. Julian stepped back from the window and looked at his clock; it was a quarter past one and he was late again. "Shoot!", Julian exclaimed and scurried to his closet which could hardly fit a grown man inside, let alone a full armoire of clothing. He rummaged through the dirty and the clean clothes piled on the ground inside the closet, finding a set of mismatched socks that he had meant to sort out but never did. Sleeping shirtless came in handy this time and all he had to do was sniff through the shirts and find the least odorous one, fit into his blue jeans and cram his feet into the loose-fit black sports shoes that he clawed out of the bottom of his twin bed.

It took him less than five minutes to put toast, brush his teeth, turn the lights off, pick up his backpack collect his toast and then get outside to lock the door to his shoddy apartment. An impressive feat was it not for the fact that he was late to his psychology class. This class would usually be very lax and non-symptomatic, but Julian had turned in an unpleasant paper on the intricacies of Stockholm Syndrome when it came to pets; Mrs. Helewin was the proud owner of a rather aggressive chihuahua and she had brought it the day before the paper was due. In short, he had painted a gigantic target on his forehead and she was looking for any mistake to reprimand him for; it wasn't a good idea to be late to her class. The door's hinges to room 203 cringed as he opened it, every student and their mothers must have heard it because an entire class of moonfaced students turned to look at the source of the sound. Among the faces was Mrs. Helewin's and she had a twisted grin like she had caught a mice in a cheese trap, Julian's heart dropped and he froze up.

"Well, well, well, it looks like Mr. Chanter has decided to join us today. Take a seat and be quiet. Oh, and I'd like to see you after class.", Mrs. Helewin said, changing her tone into a more professional one with that last bit. It wasn't typical of professors to provide much attention to their students; in specific because of the ridiculous amount of students expected to instruct. Then again, Mrs. Helewin was not your typical professor, even when her students were in trouble she found ways to confess her concern over their well being. Julian had too often run into a class, with disregard by the professors, and put to fill out menial worksheets that taught nothing remarkable. In contrast, his psych professor gave them lectures, resources, and opened their minds to intrinsic new ideas; she cared about her students.

During class, Julian felt anxious, guilty and an array of shameful feelings; shame that he hadn't yet apologized, guilt that he had even written the paper and anxious that he might face reprimand of a degree he was not ready for. He looked over to Kianna, she was a beautiful blonde girl that had recently transferred after her parents were unable to put her through a more prestigious school. No one had even dared to ask her about her financial situation, well no one for the exception of Ronnie Gibson; but no one took Ronnie serious, even if he had a master's degree in computer science. Why he was attending a course on social psych was beyond everyone, it was a mystery as unsolvable as elves and faeries themselves. Kianna was taking notes when she noticed Julian's eyes were on her, she smiled and scoffed; it was so typical of him, despite the fact that they scarcely knew each other. She glanced over to him and he instinctively turned away, opting to find divine enterprise in the know-how of kittens and tree branches, a poster which read 'hang in there' on the wall.

The class had come to its end, and Mrs. Helewin highlighted on its conclusion by drawing a smiley face on the whiteboard; "A happy mind is an open mind", she orated. Clambering feet down the dark wooden isles of seats melded into the sound of his heart pounding as his time came up. Kianna primmed herself and hefted her green bag over her shoulder and walked by Julian whispering to him, "Good luck there, Mr. Stockholm Syndrome.", Julian knew she was teasing him, but it felt like she was being cruel. It was a confusing feeling watching her leave, getting lost in the sway of her hips as she descended down the steps and finally left. In the wake of his musing, Mrs. Helewin had made her way up the steps, silently like some sort of ninja; she was older, but not by much so it made sense she could retain such stealth. She wasn't ugly by any means, but it was obvious that life had been unkind to her in her youth; now she was a fifty-year-old brunette, short woman. With the most twinkling green eyes that he'd ever seen, a likelihood of Irish descent; while her skin had seen a dampening of its tightness, its elasticity had not withered away.

She spoke with a hindered peaceable mind, "Julian, I hadn't said anything about how disrespectful you were to me, but now you're late too? When I first met you, you were so motivated, you wanted to learn but now I don't see that in you, is something going on, do you need to talk to someone?", Julian looked down, his guilt eating him alive, his eyebrows furrowed and concern drew on his face and it betrayed him. Mrs. Helewin offered him comfort in the form of her hand brushing over his shoulder like a mother would her child. Contrition fought to empty from his tightened chest, and he succumbed to it finally as he vowed himself to the emotions he felt. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Helewin, I just...", He paused for a moment to register his emotional state on a more conscious level, "I had no idea you were going to bring in your dog, I wrote that paper the day you assigned it to us and I had been working on it. I swear, I was going to change it but it was too late, I'm really sorry Mrs. I know I messed up and I didn't mean to hurt you!", Julian's heart sunk, but he knew he had spoken with a clean conscience, nevermind the guilt he felt earlier, the truth would transcend his conviction.

Petrified in the motions of her overawe, Mrs. Helewin stood there with her eyes widened, and her mouth fashioned with slight agape. She had misinterpreted his intent, thoroughly, and was well on her way to apologize but instead found it to be redundant all things considered. "I must admit, you had me questioning my teaching methods, Mr. Chanter, but this is refreshing news.", she admitted with remitted adjudication. Julian suspired with relief, the professor's tone had seemed so explosive that he had braced himself for the worse. With the worse behind him, he looked up at her with an inquiry-filled gaze, in hopes she could dismiss him so this nightmare could end. Reading into the puppy-eyes, she did so and smiled awkwardly, reminding him that 'a happy mind is an open mind'; Friday was always full of surprises for him, he left the classroom and took off into the hallway.

A high pitched whistle hit his ear with a piercing whiz, it was Millie. She had a knack for treating others like they were her lapdogs, it was condescending and humiliating when she did it knowing you were her friend. She was taller than the rest of the girls and had no reserve for ladylike behavior; much like the tone, she set when speaking to him. "Yo, dude what happened in there? She give you any shit?", Millie said with great antagonistic intent. Julian blew out some air from his heaving sigh and slung his backpack strap over his shoulder, "It was nothing, honestly Millie. Plus, why do you even care, all you ever do is take my cigarettes and mooch off my homework.", He replied while pulling out a pack of his favorite brand 'Old Harbor' cigarettes. In the past, Julian had tried to stay away from the old habit, but with stress and bad company like Millie he'd gotten used to the smell and taste again. He shared a cigarette with her and they both put the sticks to their mouths; Millie pulled out a 'Cigo' lighter and gave him a flame and then gave hers a good light.

Inhaling the earthy, coarse, minty smoke, he played with the fog inside his mouth with his tongue while glancing over to Millie who was summoning some kind of demon with all the smoke she had puffed out. Julian shook his head and finished off the bud, killing it against the metal lid of a trashcan and disposing of it afterward. "Hey, Millie, you comin' or what?", He asked her while heading towards the parking lot, Millie followed behind after flicking a dead bud into the trash; it didn't hit its mark and bounced off the closed lid. As they walked out of the building Millie began to talk about her day, how she was happy to have made it this far. "Yeah, I guess it was my fault for not studying, but at least I passed. Folks would have been livid if they even got wind of me almost failing.", She said and avoided using the sidewalk while she balanced herself on the very edge of the sidewalk instead with her hands extended outward. "Livid? You know they only want what's best for you, you know that. Besides, I feel partially responsible for that test. If you hadn't been hanging out with me you would have had time to study.", A sorry Julian said. "Yeah, that's true, it's all your damn fault, Julian. Now you owe me more favors.", Millie said as she grimaced and jumped off the edge of the walkway, landing beside a car's door side. The car was an old Impala, in bad condition, and with the bumper and hood replaced with a tougher greyscale metal; for better impact resistance. Millie struggled to get the door opened, and when she did the door screeched louder than a dinosaur, but she had gotten used to it by now. Julian was already inside the car and he was rolling through the radio channels to find something that could alleviate his tension. He found a tune and backed up, to drive off to his apartment, an apartment he shared with Millie.

Smoke rolled out of the window's creek, the rotor on the doors stopped working a long time, and Julian had given up on fixing it. Breaking the silence Millie asked Julian, "So, I saw you giving that blonde girl those googly eyes. You interested dude? You know I could talk to her for you." He frenzied and swayed the car with minimal intent to prevent from straying into oncoming traffic, had it not been for Millie taking the wheel and pulling them back on track. "Okay, okay, geez, I didn't expect you to have a teenage boy moment.", Millie teased. Heartbeat racing, eyes dilated and his tension gone, Julian stared ahead; alive for now, despite the transgression. "You shouldn't ask me such weird questions, Mil could get us both killed. I...I like her but I don't think she's very into me. Probably for the best, all things considered, I can't be distracted by romance right now, I gotta pass the next exam or I'll definitely lose my shit. Besides she's not the only one I like anyway." Millie's eyes perked up and her eyebrow raised a hair's worth, she prodded into it, effectively revoking her desire to live, "So, who else do you like, eh?" Julian went red. "No one!" He said intently and kept driving ahead, Millie dropped it but she wore a smug smile on her face, a matter-of-factly 'I won' kind of smile.

Millie wasn't ugly by any means, even if the way she spoke was unique; she was unique in the way she dressed and looked too, tomboyish and crude. Her hair was short and dark, with a strafe of latent blue streaks on each side of her temple that ran around her head in the shape of a lightning bolt. Like coffee, her eyes gleamed over with the grace of youth; requital for the old fashion sense she had, khakis and a wifebeater with a sports bra that clung tightly to her chest. She even went as far as to sport the shiniest loafers she had, with a clean shine enough to see herself in them; a classic look if you were over the age of thirty. Then there was the fact that her complexion was creamy and rich, not pale like he was, and the juiciest lips he'd ever seen even when they displayed her black lipstick.

Julian shook his head and reached the street of his neighborhood, he parallel-parked and got down from the car, it was already five in the afternoon. The sun had begun to feel weaker, but in those hours of leave, it felt like it was at its warmest, inclusive as it may be to the night. Millie walked around the car and punched his arm with a light playful jig and rushed over to the stairs where she sat to hang out with him. He rubbed his arm and grinned making his way over to her, in what seemed to him like a cool-looking, slow pace; though really he looked like a lemur that had just learned to walk on two legs.

That made Millie laugh and she shook her head, "Yo check out mister cholo over here.", she said with a playful rouse.

Julian laughed and rushed over to sit next to Millie and shove her into the rail a bit.

"You ever miss home?" Julian asked while looking at the sun starting to set. "Yeah, I do, man. Every day. Uhspecially on days like this with the sunset and everything." She said, joining in with him to look at the setting sun.

"You remember when your ass used to get beaten at marbles?" She laughed and reminded Julian of that time. "Yeah yeah." He said. "Laugh it up, but I got those marbles from you as a birthday present. You probably just set me up I bet." Millie acquiesced "Oh yeah, definitely I planned that from the very start just so I can beat yo ass!"

They both laughed and shoved each other a bit. Though for a moment when they touched they felt right and she leaned into him a little and he leaned into her a smidge but before they knew it they were getting up and dusting themselves. "Yeah don't get your grime on me, cholo boy. Haha, alright I'm heading inside, still up for a beer and a movie right?" Millie said, completely forgetting about that moment of bliss where they had connected, even if it was for only a moment.

Julian nodded, "Yeah, you betcha. I gotta run to the store real quick though.", They both agreed and Millie disappeared inside the apartment complex. Though he stood there, looking into the door of the apartment, deep in thought, confused for the most part until he felt the sun fading away and the warmth replaced by the cooling night. He looked at the setting sun, it had felt like minutes, but they had been outside for nearly an hour and the impending night was coming fast.