50 about that

✨Andi✨

That night I had with Yuri was the best night of my life. His arms were the sanctuary I haven't been to in a long time. His touch, every word he said was engraved in my mind. That man does wonders for my tummy just by thinking about him.

Maybe I am afraid. I haven't been this scared about something since Mom died. The thought of losing him, the thought of not having to see him smile again scared the shít out of me. The worst part of all was, I can't get him out of my mind anymore. Leaving him was the hardest decision I had to work out, it always had been.

I know he will be furious, maddeningly frantic because of what I did. He was looking for me again but I can't have him. He won't be happy with me.

And who are you to decide that? The small voice in my head screamed.

Oh shut up conscience!

Shít happens, that's what Alo said and shít must go on with their lives so here I am. Doing this shītty list again.