1 Chapter 1

In a normal day, in a normal city, and in a normal apartment building. This is where I live my all too normal life. I, Christine Knight, a girl with long brown hair and fair skin, woke up to the sound of my pet dog German shepherd, Hunter, barking so loud that I went rigid when I thought about my landlord and neighbors barging into my apartment just to scold me on keeping a dog barking so early in the morning. I threw a pillow at Hunter in hopes of letting him stop barking, and when he finally stopped, the alarm clock went off. Sleepy, I tiredly reached for the digital alarm clock on the nightstand to check what time it is, and when I saw it; I quickly jumped from my bed.

I went straight to the bathroom and started undressing my sleepwear consisting of boxer shorts and a shirt too big for my small frame. After I was done taking a quick shower, I took out a bandage roll from the cupboard behind the mirror. I rolled the bandage around my breast until it was flat and went out of the bathroom then straight to my room to put on some clothes. I changed into my clothes wearing dark blue jeans, a red shirt with the headline 'Shoot me', and red sneakers.

I came out of my room and grabbed my backpack and electric guitar in its case, but before I leave the apartment, I opened my closet and took out a brown short-haired wig and a grey jacket. I look at my reflection in the mirror and stared at myself. Short brown hair, green eyes, and a plain figure similar to a boy as I grasp on a necklace I wore on my neck. A small chain around my neck where there a silver ring dangling at the center of my chest. I looked at a picture of a woman hugging a young girl just right next to the mirror and smiled.

I walked straight to the door and placed my hand there. Once I open this door and show myself to the world, I'll be throwing away my current identity as Christine Knight, the girl who no one knows about in the whole world. I'll be turning into someone everyone around me knows. "It's time to start the day as Richard Knight," I told to myself and opened the door.

Walking my way to the bus station with my backpack and guitar hanging on both of my shoulders, I saw my best friend, Russell, banging his drumsticks on a post box and a pole. Russell and I, a.k.a. "Richard", are in a band called "Night Raid" with 3 other members. Russell has brown eyes and blond messy hair. Today he's wearing short jeans, worn-out high-cut sneakers, and a deep blue t-shirt. We've been friends ever since the first day of middle school and have been best friends ever since then.

No one knows my true identity, even my best friends don't know about the truth behind "Richard". It would always make me feel guilty when I'm lying to my friends about who I really am. When I'm myself, Christine Knight, I'm considered as a ghost who no one knows because I was told by my mother that I must live my life as a boy ever since I was young with reasons unknown; but when I'm Richard Knight, the male identity my mother gave me when I was young, I'm considered as a great guitar player, the smartest "guy" at school, and the "guy" who gets bullied a lot.

"Hey, Richard!" Russell yelled, putting away his drumsticks. "You're late, but well, that's not new."

"I don't even understand why you are always so early," I said as I sat down on a bench to catch my breath and laying my guitar gently on the concrete sidewalk. "We even had a gig yesterday night at 11 and you're this energetic early in the morning?"

"And I scored a girl yesterday," Russell said happily yet boringly.

"Well then, we'd better put her on the "Russell's one night stand" list" I sighed to myself because of my very flirtatious friend. "So? What's her name?"

"Don't know but she has blond hair, blue eyes, and a great body." He said as he uses his hands to create a curvy figure in the air.

"Of course you don't know you don't even bother asking her who she is or introducing yourself other than your name. *sigh* Well here's the bus."

That's right. Russell is a drummer in our band of 5 and a playboy. He's well known in the school and at clubs, we've played at as a young playboy able to capture the hearts of women. Even though I hate that way about him, I won't stop him because that's how he is. That's how best friends should be, right? Accepting one another, feeling comfortable whenever they're there, and telling them our troubles. It's too bad I can't talk to him about the truth of who I really am and it would always bring me down to the dumps but Russell was always there to cheer me up without asking what's bothering me.

I smiled at the memory of him comforting me one day when I was depressed. I looked up and saw that Russell started boarding the bus. With a small smile, a got up from the bench, grab my backpack and guitar, then stepped on the bus.

"You know, one day, you'll get hurt by a girl," I said while I and Russell were walking in the school hallway. "If you keep this up, you'll regret it someday."

"And why should I take advice from you even though you still don't have a girlfriend?" Russell asked as he was walking next to me. "Besides, you'll be turning 16 tomorrow. I'm surprised someone like you hasn't gotten himself a girl yet. Want me to hook you up with one?"

"Well, I'm not like you who had a girlfriend when I was 14 and keep changing girls when I get bored with the present girl," I said, recalling the very first day of him having a girlfriend, their relationship was what you'd call innocent until Russell changed his style, having thoughts on impressing his new girlfriend, which he did, but he also caught the eyes of other girls. He began his affair with girls from there on, changing any girl which he doesn't find interesting, and moving on to the next girl he can find.

"Huh, always the sly guy of the band." Russell scoffed. He only does that when he loses an argument or when I'm right about something.

After our conversation, the bell rang, signaling our first class. We said our goodbyes and went to our respective classes.

My first class is Geometry, my top class. I would always try to sit at the back of the class because my bullies would throw paper balls at me but the teacher would always assign me to sit at the front because of my short height. Whenever the teacher turned his back to the class, some of my bullies would pass messages to the whole class saying how a geek I am.

When the bell finally rang, signaling it's time to change classes for the next period, I would quickly fix my things and run to the next class to avoid the bully's torture such as being locked behind a locker.

My second class is History, the class where I can hang out with Russell and Lin, the bassist and the only "female" in the band. When I entered the classroom, I saw Lin immediately waving at me from her seat and Russell fiddling with his phone on his desk.

"Hey Russ, Rich is here!" Lin yelled to him even though she was right next to him, disturbing Russell with his phone and whatever game he was just playing. A scowl appeared on Russell's face when I got closer and could clearly hear the "game over" theme on his phone. Lin just smiled at Russell for losing his game. She wasn't a bit scared at facing Russell's wrath.

I look at Lin and she's just the typical girl in the band and the typical Asian girl with the usual black eyes and black hair and also the rowdiest band member we have. "Did you survive?" She asked looking at me.

"Mostly," I said, trying to change my voice pitch to match a guy's. Lately, my voice has been changing pitches often and my breast has gotten a bit bigger thus making me roll more bandage roll than ever. I could only think of one thing that would make me like this. Puberty. I mentally sighed to myself, having thoughts that from now I would try harder in concealing my gender since I'm starting to turn into an adolescent woman. I pushed away my thoughts and went and to sit on a vacant chair next to Lin and in front of Russell. "Got to say, those bullies help me stay fit," I said trying to be sarcastic.

"Then should we find more bullies for you?" Russell said while he was putting away his phone. Clearly, he was still pouting over his game. "We should help you build some muscles on that flat body of yours."

"Count me in!" Lin chimed in.

"No thanks, I like my body the way it is and I'm not changing it." I said, refusing each of their offers in helping me "exercise".

"You lose dude, girls like strong guys," Russell said, demonstrating his bicep even though his figure wasn't much different from my plain figure. Sure he has muscles but it's not something to brag about since the blandest one in the band is me.

"Both strong and smart guys," Lin added in.

"Yeah, for me to carry more books and do more homework, I'm looking forward to it," I said sarcastically.

Before Russell could make a comeback, the History teacher, Mrs. Merryweather, entered the classroom and threatened the class to quiet down or else she'd throw a book at them.

"Guess we'll talk again at the cafeteria," Russell whispered behind me on his seat before Mrs. Merryweather got a book from her side and aimed it at us. I was quick enough to move in time to avoid the book but instead, it went and hit Russell in the face. Some of the class was surprised and some were holding in their laughter. I could tell that Lin was holding in her outrageous laughter, I myself too was hiding my small laughter but I was then sent a glare from Russell. I gave him a small smile then continued on with the class.

In the cafeteria, Russell, and Lin were looking for a table to eat and finding our other 2 members while we're at it. We found them almost right away because Steven, the 2nd guitarist, and leader of the band, is wearing a light neon green shirt, red pants, and neon blue sneakers which made him stand out from the rest of the crowd. Steven's hair is light blond and he has black eyes. Next to him is Daniel, the keyboardist, with his brown hair, blue eyes, and crooked glasses with freckles on each of his cheeks. Daniel was wearing a green turtle neck sweater, brown pants, and old man shoes which a 16-year-old shouldn't be wearing.

"Guys! Over here!" Steven yelled with excitement while sitting on the bench of the cafeteria table. "What took you guys so long?"

"Sorry guys, Russell was flirting with another girl, as usual," I complained as I looked over to Russell still caressing his head where Mrs. Merryweather hit with a book. "What were you guys doing?"

"Chatting about the concert we did yesterday," Daniel said with a tired voice. "And about the upcoming concert, we'll be performing tonight."

"An upcoming concert? Yeah! Let's rock it on tonight!" Lin said loudly catching the full attention of every band member.

"I got some plans tonight, so, pass," Russell said as he put his tray of food down on the table and took a sit.

"There'll be girls," Steven said creeping up to Russell. "Lots of girls."

"Oh, brother." I and Daniel sighed. "Here we go again."

Russell stopped a moment to look at Steven then he smiled his "charming" playboy smile. "Count me in." Steven was delighted that Russell was coming, I and Daniel sat there, disappointed in our playboy drummer, and Lin was there pointing at someone.

"Hey Rich, aren't those your bullies," Lin asked with anxiety. "Looks like they're coming closer to us."

After Lin pinpointed the bullies, all of us went silent and started eating our lunch, trying to ignore them but the leader of the bullies, Jack, went closer to them with the group of jocks behind him which is the entire bully group haunting my life.

"Hey losers, nice lunch you got there Richard," Jack said leaning his hand right next to my lunch tray then glided his hand through the table, making my lunch fall to the ground. "Oops, my hand slipped," Jack said with a grin on his face.

"It's fine," I said, sounding unaffected. "It was an accident."

"Yeah, that's what I'd like to hear from you," Jack said followed by head locking me and rubbing my head with his fist which was painful but that wasn't what I was worried about. I was worried about my wig coming off. I was about to fight back when...

"Stop it, will you!" Russell intervenes, slamming his can of coke down. "Just leave him alone."

"Or what?" Jack said mockingly. "Are you going to beat me up, pretty boy?"

"No," Russell said with a sinister smile on his face. "But I think I'll go talk to your girlfriend, who was that again, Molly, right?"

With a defeated look on Jack's face, he let go of me roughly then walked over to Russell who was still grinning. "Stay away from my girlfriend, you womanizing freak," Jack yelled before turning away from us and his group following after him.

"Fuck you!" Lin yelled throughout the cafeteria and raising her middle finger at Jack, making the group of jocks glares at her. After Jack went out of the cafeteria, Lin sat on her seat again. "Are you alright, Richard?" Lin said to me worriedly but knowing her, I'm probably the reason why Lin hasn't chased down Jack and try to beat me up.

Daniel and Steven were helping me up from the floor, dusting me off and checking me for any injuries. "I'm alright," I said, checking if my wig was in place which only looked to them as me fixing my hair. "So, about the gig tonight?" I asked.

"Oh, right," Steven said with a look of worry on his face. "But I don't think you should go out, I mean..."

"No, I'm going," I said while putting my messed up lunch in the garbage. "No harm in being out."