Four healthy spouses, four dead daughters—three unluckily alive.

My heart leapt out as I stumbled out of the bed, clenching my palpitating chest. It was that dream again, haunting me of my past. However, that was all I could remember; that I was Alona Lim, a field surgeon, and that I have indefinable hate towards medicine.

How I died was still a mystery. Perhaps, it was my brain's mechanism to protect me from developing mental trauma.

I sluggishly stood up and grabbed whatever clothes my hand would land on. The bag I prepared last night bumped on my feet as if it was to remind me of my departure.

———

'Unfortunately, they were born women,' was always the sweetest praise we'd hear from our elders. In nobilities, women had always been treated second to men. Only firstborn male children could perpetuate the family name, while women solely exist to marry men, bear children, and take care of the household. Hence, the elders' desire to strengthen up the clan was on the brink of despair—as there was still no son heir.

Though as much as I'd want to be aggrieved, my father, Coran Dominique, took all offense for having four healthy spouses, four dead daughters, and three unluckily alive.

"Boy, he sure was NOT born under a lucky star," I laughed dryly, scrunching up my nose in pity for my sonless father.

Father only have three fully functioning daughters; one gifted with civics and diplomacy, the other with tinkering and invention, and one with martial arts and substantial knowledge of medicine.

However, he, being a duke and a manful military general, disproved of our endeavor to expand our knowledge aside from household chores and needlework. Repeatedly saying that other things were just not made for women to do, and even if we do learn and expand our knowledge, we wouldn't be recognized by the society since we're merely women.

"Must be nice to be respected as the queen, isn't it?"

As if it understood, the bee buzzed its short span of wings in response, crawling its elongated entirety on my forefinger. "Your drone bees do all the work for you, feed you and protect you chivalrously. Our situation is somehow alike but at the same time it isn't."

Unlike queen bees, all women will eventually leave their family to fully commit themselves in serving their husbands. Women's purpose only revolves around their husbands and his household. Women are to satisfy and serve men, while men are to provide women with necessities and protection.

According to the book written by some old king, it was a custom since it was believed that:

Women are illiterate and incapable of handling responsibilities outside their houses.

Women are irrational beings who mainly follows their emotions rather than follow their logic.

Women were only expected to excel in four areas: fidelity, cautious speech, industriousness, and graceful manners. They're so soft that they can't even lift a sword.

Women must be her father's asset. Fie on female children who cannot use their marriage to form or strengthen alliances between families for her father's sake.

Basically saying that men are the only intellectual and functional being in the world. That book was an evident attack against women, but for some reason it became a part of the kingdom's law and civics.

As deep as my hatred for men in general, I feel just as bad for my father who cannot produce a male heir. If matters comes to worse, he will be forced to hand most of his estate and hard-earned wealth to his indolent younger brother Aldwin. It wouldn't only be a great tarnish to him as the clan's oldest son, but also as one of the distinguished general of the century.

But that wouldn't exceed the amount of humiliation once they found out that Uncle Aldwin had already went ahead and knocked up father's youngest wife, Cheryl.

Oh, tea.

Since she's so clueless, I've been assisting our house cook to regularly give Cheryl fennel, red raspberry leaves herbs and bird's nest soup that would help her pregnancy.

If the astrology calendar's correct, she'd be bearing a boy.

While the elders would definitely celebrate upon finding out her pregnancy, father would certainly feel otherwise.

He was out on the battlefield for months, risking his life for the country only for Aldwin to take advantage of his absence and fool around with Cheryl.

'On the other hand, a male cousin wouldn't be so bad for a change,' I shrugged.

The last time my father heard an astrology prediction was that his fifth child will be a baby boy. He was overjoyed to the point that he got emotionally scarred when the child turned out to be yours truly.

On the flip side, if it wasn't for that false prediction, I might've been as good as dead even before I was born.

Theoretically speaking, the miscarriages of father's wives were, apparently, not accidental.

His loveliest concubine, who also happened to be my mother, Tanashiri, was a blind young lady from the humble clan of weavers. Despite her disability, father fell in love with her at first sight. Though my blind mother can't technically say that back to him, she loved him back nonetheless.

Among his other concubines, I can attest that mother was the only one he truly loved while the others were merely marriage of conveniences. But cutting the drama short, time came and mother eventually became pregnant—and the astrology said that it would be female twins.

However, a few days after it was revealed that mother was bearing female twins, they said that she had a miscarriage due to fatal pregnancy. Although they told us stories, the details simply didn't add up. She might be blind, but she had always been strong like a bull.

"Madeleine, come quickly, dear! We'll be late for your engagement!" said Lady Souyin, my dad's first concubine.

"Genevieve, we must make haste! You must be the one first to capture the most eligible bachelor there!" said second concubine Lady Lillian.

The three daughters, respectively; Madeleine, me, and Genevieve.

Madeleine was the third eldest among us seven; I, Vera, was the fifth after my former twin sisters; and Genevieve is the seventh, the youngest.

I was still preoccupied by the bee on my finger before I caught mother on the porch sighed in resign, facing towards my direction as if she knew where I exactly was just through my cheery humming in the garden.

"What do I do with you, Veronica." With a frown she sighed once more, "Godspeed on your journey, my dear."

She left silently with a heavy heart, fully aware that she can no longer push this marriage business with me.

My heart sank as I observed her small figure walk away with her cane. The mere sight of her back made me want to never depart at all.

But, I've made my decision, and we both made our choice. "I'll always visit you, mother," I said as I fight the urge to hug her one last time, mindlessly squeezing my arm in resolve.

"Where is Veronica?! Why isn't she preparing? Does that girl plan to die unmarried?!"

Meanwhile, I heard Aunt Wan scream, followed by loud staccato footsteps on the wood-planked floor. Unlike my wise mother, Aunt Wan is highly remarkable of her toughest of the thickest skulls while possessing such an unimposing brain.

I took a deep breath. On usual loud mornings like this, mother's garden is the only haven that distracts me from the chitter inside the house. The fragrance that this garden holds will be forever engraved on my mind.

"Lady Wan, we should just let that young girl alone, if she does not desire to get married, let her be," said concubine Lady Souyin, knowing that my absence would automatically mean less competition for her daughter Madeleine who's almost out of the marrying age.

"I'm being kind enough to meddle with my nieces' marriage and make sure they marry into a good household! And I won't let all of you spoon-feed that girl! Vera will become the disgrace of this household if no man ever marries her!" her voice seemed closer now that she's managed to run on the patio with her pair of lotus feet.

I forced myself to pick up my bag and my lingering desire to not leave my mother behind. "Alright, I guess that's my cue," I said as I sprinted away, throwing my bag on the other side of the garden walls before climbing it up and escaping this suffocating household.